Commencement
by aMUSEment345
Summary: When Fate takes one last swipe at Reid during his last case with the BAU, he's grateful not to be alone. An early end to the end, and a new beginning.
1. Chapter 1

_**A.N. I started this before the end of season 13, before we knew if we would get a season 14, intending to put it up when the series ended. Now we've had a season 14, and are awaiting season 15. But it's not because I'm tired of waiting that I'm posting now. It's because the show has upended the nature of the relationship between JJ and Reid, who are the stars of this story. I didn't want to have to go back and retrofit things after we see wherever the characters are taken next season. It's always there, just a little bit, in many of my stories, and this is no exception. But I wasn't quite prepared to go where they have gone. So, here is my version of the end, before the end.**_

* * *

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 1**_

"Spence! Oh, my God, thank God! Are you all right?"

JJ scrambled across the wreckage to where she'd found the supine figure of her best friend. When he didn't answer right away, she felt panic rising all over again.

"Spence!"

A faint grunt preceded a shower of light debris falling from the pile of rubble that rose over him.

"Spence!"

Relieved at the sign of life, JJ found a foothold, and stood, ripping pieces of debris away from the pile and tossing them aside, working as rapidly as she could. Her left foot could feel movement against it, and she knew he was trying to help. As she removed the light stuff, she could see that it had all filled in around two large beams that had fallen across his body, one across his chest, and the other pinning his left leg.

The height of the pile had hidden his face from her, but she could see it now. He was covered in dust, as she knew she must be as well. His features were locked into a grimace, and his lips…

_Oh, my God, are they blue? Is that blue?!_

She worked more furiously, digging out to reach the beam that lay against his chest.

"Spence! Spence, please open your eyes! Please look at me!"

There was a fluttering of his lids, followed by rapid blinking, and she realized he'd probably gotten some of the dust in his eyes.

"Spence! Can you talk?"

She watched as his lips moved, and realized he was struggling to put breath behind his words.

"Is it your chest? Is it the beam on your chest?"

His head was free, and it nodded.

"Okay, I'm going to try to move it. But, Spence, you probably have some broken ribs. It will hurt."

He nodded again, ever so slightly, whether in agreement, or as a form of permission, she couldn't tell. But they both knew she had to try. His chest was barely moving beneath the beam, his breaths already far too shallow.

The question was, how? The beam was only a four by four, but it was long, its far end buried under another pile of debris. The weight was obviously enough to impair Reid's breathing, which meant it might be difficult for her to lift on her own. And she couldn't afford to fail. _He_ couldn't afford for her to fail. If that weight dropped on him again, it might finish the job of crushing his chest, or it might do the same to the fragile organs of his abdomen. She needed to do it right, the first time.

JJ wished she could ask him for a plan. If there was any time she needed his genius mind, it was now, in the saving of his life.

_Maybe I can…_

"Spence, should I lift from the side, or should I try to grab it from your middle?"

Then mentally slapping her forehead for having given him a question that required speech.

"Should I lift from the middle?"

A slow shake of his head.

"From the side?"

A single trip up, and down.

"All right, I'm assuming you mean your right side, right?" Where the beam's free end lay.

Once more, up, and down.

It frightened her, that he was conserving even this movement. Then she noticed his eyes become fixed on hers, drawing her gaze with him, to his right. At first glance, all she saw was debris. But she looked again to Reid, and then followed his line of sight carefully, and then…. she saw it. There, amid the dust and glass and hanging wires….a lone, intact, cinderblock.

Reid was the genius of the team, but JJ was no slacker in intelligence. She knew immediately what he was trying to tell her. If she turned the cement block on its end, it would gain just enough height…

"I can lean the beam on the block. Right? That's what you mean? So I won't have to lift it so high."

He closed his eyes briefly, a signal requiring even less energy than the single nod of his head. Which frightened her into action. She scrambled back across the debris to the cinderblock, and then was frustrated to realize that it was caught up in another piece of debris. Angry now, she tugged at the block a few times.

"Goddamn it, you _will_ come out! He is not going to die because of this!"

But the block wouldn't budge, and tears of frustration….and terror….. ran down her face.

_Please, please! I will never ask for anything else, ever again! Please!_

She attacked the rubble again, her hands closing around anything they came into contact with, pulling, tossing, pulling again. At some point, she was curious to note that they were both bleeding, even though she felt no pain. She was too busy praying, and cursing, and pulling, and tossing, and….and then, a centimeter of give, and then an inch, and then….it was free!

By now, she had too little breath to shout. She took the block into both hands, and found that it was slow going back over the rubble, without being able to steady herself with her hands. Reid lay completely motionless, and she thought his color might be even darker than it had been before.

_Please God, please God, please God….._

The mantra carried her the full distance back to him, her trousers now in shreds and her knees bleeding to match her hands.

"Spence! Spence!"

All she could do was call his name. She dare not jostle him with the beam on his chest, and she couldn't spare the time anyway. She set the cinderblock next to him, eyeing the angle she'd have to lift the beam, wishing he could advise her whether to lift from above or below. She decided to try to shoulder it, and got to her knees next to Reid. Uttering one more prayer, musing at how she'd been brought to her knees, she reached for the beam…and her hands immediately slid off it.

_The blood!_

She quickly wiped her palms against her slacks and studied them. No major cuts, just a few slices, and the blood was slow in reaccumulating. So she wiped once again, begged for help, and pushed the beam up from her shoulder. It was even harder and heavier than she'd imagined it would be, but the prospect of losing her best friend was harder still, and it gave her the strength she needed. She lifted the beam and swung it the few inches over to the cinderblock, and then instinctively laid it down, as gently as possible, somehow knowing the block would only be able to withstand gentle pressure.

She grunted with the effort, and then, task accomplished, sat on her haunches next to Reid, staring at his chest, begging to see it rise and fall. Begging…. Begging….

She reached for his carotid, and was relieved to feel a faint, rapid pulsation against her fingers. Until another thought occurred to her.

_Oh, my God! Maybe that beam was putting pressure on some bleeding, and now it's not! Maybe he's bleeding out!_

There was no staining on any of his clothes. Any bleeding would be internal, and she couldn't know.

_But it wouldn't keep him from breathing, right? He should be breathing._

And he didn't seem to be. So JJ used her shirttail to wipe the dust from her mouth, and his, and leaned over him, taking care not to lean on his chest. Not until she had to. Not unless he needed full CPR.

She gently pressed his nostrils together, as she tilted his chin back, unexpectedly flooded with relief at the warmth of his skin. Then she took a few preparatory breaths, drew in one final, large lungful of air, and covered his mouth with hers.

Time slowed. To JJ, it seemed to take a lifetime to expel her breath into him. She tried to visualize it entering his lungs, spreading to their farthest reaches, opening his chest for air again. But the only images that came to her were of a hundred….no, maybe a thousand….conversations, watching him from behind as he stood before a map, looking at his head bent over case materials, seeing him near tears as he held Henry for the first time, seeing him _in _tears as he watched the woman he loved die in front of him.

She rose, took in another lungful of air, and then bent to her task again. She had time to think of all the things they'd said to one another, and all the things left unsaid, and she vowed to herself that they would go unsaid no longer, if only….. if only….

She felt her own breath come back at her as he coughed.

_He coughed!_

JJ pulled back and watched as he coughed a few more times, and felt tears track through the dust coating her cheeks.

His head fell to the side, as though the very act of breathing was exhausting him. JJ felt for his pulse again, thrilled to find it stronger. She bent so that her face was in his sightline.

"I'm right here." She brushed some of the dust from his face. "Right here, Spence. Your breathing should be easier now. Just take it slow, and steady. All right?"

It was another full minute before he had the strength to open his eyes. When he did, he was briefly disoriented.

_An angel? Did I die?_

And then he realized. Trying to speak triggered another coughing fit. When it finally passed, he gasped out a few words.

"JJ….hurt? Wha' hap…..?"

"Shh. Don't try to talk. Just take slow breaths, as deep as you can manage."

He wasn't having it. Not without knowing.

"Hurt?" His eyes trailing to the remnant blood on her hands.

She followed his gaze. "This? No, I just cut my hands a little bit. I'm okay. It's you I'm worried about."

He started to shake his head, but the movement precipitated yet another coughing fit.

"Hold still, Spence! Let me get some of this dust off of your face."

She brushed at it with her fingers, frustrated at what little progress she made. Then she remembered.

"I saw a puddle over there, when I was getting the block. There's got to be a pipe or something."

She turned to retrace her path back to the pile of rubble where she'd claimed the cinderblock. But before she could back away, she felt his hand grasp hers.

"Stay."

A plea, more than a command. And it threw her.

_Is he afraid? Is he hurt even worse than I know? Is he worried about me?_

She reversed direction and sat at his side again.

"I'm going to push around a little bit, okay? I want you to tell me where it hurts. And no being a tough guy about it, all right? I really need to know."

She was most suspicious of his rib cage, so she left it for last, reasoning that, if she caused him pain there, he might not be able to differentiate the rest.

_He'll be proud of me for figuring that out, when this is all over!_

So she avoided his ribs, and started gently massaging his abdomen, hampered a little bit by having to reach under the beam, which was resting only inches above.

"Anything there? There? How about here?" Watching his face for any tell-tale grimacing. Despite her order to the contrary, she knew she was examining a master minimizer. But there was nothing.

_Thank God._

So she moved to his chest, pressing first on his sternum.

"Does that hurt?"

"No."

Pressing more deeply.

"How about now?"

"No." Obediently holding his head still.

So she moved to his ribs, slowly climbing her fingers up and down each side of his chest. Still 'no' and still no grimacing.

JJ sat back, satisfied…and surprised.

"I can't believe you didn't break something with this thing," indicating the beam, " on your chest."

"Pres.." Coughing again. "Pressure."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're saying it was just pressing on you?"

He nodded again, slowly. "No pain."

Except that he did have pain. She could see it in his features. It just hadn't heightened with any of her probing.

"_Something _hurts you. What is it?"

His left hand lifted, and gestured toward his leg, pinned under the other beam.

"Your leg? Does it feel like it's broken?" She couldn't quite reach from her position.

"Can't tell. Hurts." Coughing again, and she decided.

"All right, I really need to get this stuff away from your mouth and nose, and eyes. Let me see if I can find some water around here." Sensing his anxiety, she assured him. "I'm just going over there, see? I know there's a water source there, somewhere." She cupped his cheek affectionately. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 2**_

After admonishing the injured Reid not to go anywhere, JJ waited for his smile, as wry as she knew it would be, before setting off. This time, unencumbered, she made it across quickly, and without any further damage to her clothing or skin.

It was as she'd remembered. There was a puddle just beyond the pile of rubble from which she'd retrieved the block, larger now than before, telling her that there was an ongoing pouring out of water. So she climbed beyond where she'd been before, and saw the obvious source….a drinking fountain, the front and side panels shorn off, permanently in the 'on' position.

_Thank You, God._

If nothing else, they could hydrate, and wash some of the dust from their faces. Now all she needed was a vessel to carry the water in, to bring it back to Reid. She tried to orient herself using her memory of where they'd been standing, and trying to recall if she'd seen the drinking fountain before.

_We'd cleared the first three offices, and had just walked into the fourth, and then both of our phones sounded, and…..that's all I remember. So, we're either inside the office, or we were thrown out into the hallway. _

There was too much debris for her to make anything out. She couldn't even see any windows. She could only hope that this office had been as empty as the others had been. At least it had been a Sunday.

_There's a clue in that, I'm sure. And as soon as my brain gets out of survival mode, I'll try to find it._

JJ kept wading through the debris, climbing occasionally, sliding down the other side, looking back now and then to keep her bearings in this strange landscape. The cuts on her hands had begun to throb, as had the ones on her knees, and it looked like there was still some fresh blood running down her legs.

_Maybe I can use my sleeves as bandages._

Thinking she would dress her wounds when she made it back to the water source. Her distracted mind almost caused her to miss the object of her search, until her primitive brain drew her eyes back.

_A cup! _

Made of Styrofoam, lying atop a pile of debris.

_If it had been made of anything else, it probably would have broken when it was thrown. _

She had to wade through another ten feet of debris before she could reach it. Then, having acquired her prize, she searched the specific area for more, but to no avail. As she turned, however, she felt her foot push against something different from the construction debris surrounding her. This object had some give to it. Placing the cup gently to the side, she dug quickly through the pile of rubble in front of her, absently wondering how badly her hands would be infected by the process. Finally, she felt something with her hand that felt similar to what she'd felt with her foot. A small plastic trash can, empty of anything but the same debris now covering her.

She started to move further into the space when she was stopped in her tracks by the terrifyingly eerie groaning of the structure around her, followed by an audible shifting of materials, and then a shower of debris.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

She immediately reversed direction, grabbed the wastebasket, threw the Styrofoam cup inside, and did her best to hurry back to Reid. As she moved, she set the heavens straight, speaking aloud as she shoved aside the rubble in her path.

"We are _not_ going to die like this! This is _not _happening! We're getting out of this, do You hear me?"

Whether from the pain of her injuries, or the strenuousness of her efforts, or both in combination, she realized she was quickly becoming exhausted.

_I probably have a concussion, too. And there's no doubt Spence was knocked out for a while._

She began to feel the weight of their circumstance, and sensed a bubble of panic trying to rise.

_Stop! That won't help anything. Just…slow down, take your time. Think it through. Look around. What else can you use?_

In the end, it wasn't so much what they could use, but what she could carry. She found several lengths of what looked like computer cables, tied them together, wrapped them around the wastebasket, and hung it around her neck. Then she found a jagged piece of glass, and added it to her collection. When she reached the damaged drinking fountain again, she stopped and tore off part of one sleeve, using it to wipe out the inside of the wastebasket and the cup. She cleaned the glass as best she could, as well. Then she filled the basket with as much water as she could bear to carry, and headed back to Reid, praying with every step, that she would find him conscious.

It was slow going with the basket around her neck, but she was becoming familiar with the path. As she neared him, she could see Reid's head turn in her direction.

_Thank God! _

"Hey," she said.

His voice was dry and cracked. "You're still bleeding."

"Yeah, I'll take care of that in a minute." She set the wastebasket down next to him, and took inventory before proceeding.

_Lips, pink. Breathing, easy. Brow still furrowed, but I guess that's expected. _

Then she looked to his leg.

"Speaking of bleeding..."

"Yeah, I know. But I think it's just a gash. I tried pushing around, and it only hurts….well, it hurts the worst….right in the spot where my pants are torn. I just can't tell, because of the beam."

"Should we move it?"

He looked at her for a long moment, anxious to do just that. But she was clearly in no shape to help him.

"Let's wait a little bit, okay? You need to rest."

She was too quick to answer. "I'm okay."

He took her by the wrist, upending her palm.

"No, you're not. Look at these cuts. And you've been doing all the work here. You need rest." Then, showing just how well he knew her, he gave her a reason he knew she wouldn't resist. Himself. "Besides, how are you going to make sure we don't drop this thing on me if you don't take care of yourself?"

She gave him a long look, and then conceded. "All right. But just for a little while."

He nodded, pleased with himself. "Is that water in there?"

"Oh! I forgot—yes! Remember that puddle I told you about? The drinking fountain is spewing water, and I found this wastebasket and…" Pulling the cup out from inside the basket, "….I even found this."

"I suppose that's not coffee, is it?"

She laughed. "You'll take your water, and you'll like it." She filled the cup from the bucket and, handing it to him, helped him lift his head to drink. "Not too fast. Give it time to absorb."

He did as instructed, holding the cup out for a refill, and drank until he was sated. Then his head fell back.

"I think I have a new addiction. I have never tasted water that good before. And it came from a trash pail!"

She chuckled. "A very clean trash pail, mind you. I washed it out as best I could." Holding up the cloth from her sleeve, to show him. "Okay, ready to lift?"

He was far more than ready to have the unwelcome weight off his leg. But he didn't think _she_ was, so he diverted her attention.

"Let's take care of your cuts first, all right?"

She'd already rinsed them out at the water fountain, but there was still a little oozing.

"All right. Here…." Before he could say anything, she tore the rest of that sleeve off, and ripped it into strips. "I'll need your hands to tie them."

And so, she rinsed her cuts once more, and Reid helped her wrap the material from her blouse around the cuts on her hands. Those on her knees would have to fend for themselves.

"Okay, Let's get this beam off your leg, okay?" In response to the furrowing of his brow, she had to ask. "What's wrong?"

He hesitated to tell her, partly because he might be overreacting, but also because he didn't want to frighten her. Still, he didn't think he could tolerate the weight of the beam much longer.

"Like I told you, I think it's okay. But….if I'm wrong…and I could be, because it's kind of gone numb, so it's hard to interpret sensation….if I'm wrong, and it's the bone….well, that would be the femur. It's a large bone, with a large blood supply. If it's broken, and if the pressure of the beam is what's stemming the flow of blood, then…."

He watched her go pale as she realized. "You could bleed out." _Oh, my God, Spence!_

He nodded gravely. "But I have an idea."

He walked her through it. They would use his belt to create a tourniquet above the point where the beam lay on his leg. If they were successful in moving it, they would slowly let the tourniquet out, and assess the bleeding.

"But what if the bleeding is deep? What if we can't see it?" JJ wasn't convinced.

Rightly. He hesitated to tell her, but she had to know. "You'll be able to tell, if I get pale, or my pulse races."

_Or when I pass out._

JJ was no fool. "What if we just leave the tourniquet on?"

"It has to be loosened, on and off, or the blood supply to my whole leg will be compromised."

"I can do that. Please, Spence, I don't want to take the chance."

Neither did he.

"All right, we'll do it your way. Now all we have to do is to move the beam."

"Well we can't exactly put it on the cinder block. That's kind of busy, saving your life. Any suggestions?"

"Actually, yes. I've been trying to study the length of the beam, but there's too much shadow over there." Pointing to his left. "Do you think you can get a look at it?"

_If it will help you, of course!_ "What am I looking for?"

"See how the beam angles up? The angle isn't that sharp. That tells me that there's something weighing on it somewhere, but I can't see."

"Okay, so….what do I do?"

"Just take a look at it, and…or, here, maybe take a photo of it."

JJ's jaw dropped. "You have your _phone_?!"

She'd deduced hers was somewhere in the rubble, having been in her hand at the time of the explosion.

"It was in my pocket. Fortunately, the screen was against my leg."

"Spence, you have your phone! We can call for help!"

He shook his head, sorry for having gotten her hopes up.

"The phone is fine, but there's no service. I tried."

JJ sat down hard, fighting both dejection and exhaustion.

"That means they don't even know we're alive, doesn't it? If they even know about the explosion in the first place."

"They'll find us. Or we'll find our own way out."

"How? You can't even move."

He reminded her of her mission. "That's what we need to fix first. So, take my phone, use it as a flashlight, if you need to, and bring me a photo of the other end of the beam. Can you do that for me?"

She closed her eyes, nodding. "Yes, of course." Then, looking at him again, she asked, "Do you really think we'll get out of this?"

"I know we're going to try our damnedest. When has that ever not worked for us?" Followed shortly with "Never mind."

It was enough to make her smile.

"Okay, wish me luck."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 3**_

She stepped gingerly over him, trying not to slide backwards on the pile of debris. Then she followed the beam along its length, calling back to Reid every few feet, and switching on the flashlight as she went further into the darkness.

"I'm about twelve feet away, and there's another beam sitting across this one. It looks like there's another six feet of the first beam after that."

He shouted to her. "Take a photo. Is the crossbeam mobile? Are you able to push it at all? Don't do it now, just test it, and tell me!"

She called back to him. "It's heavy, but I might be able to push it! Taking a couple of photos now!"

"Take one up the crossbeam, as far as you can see!"

Reid's head fell back, eyes closed, as he tried to visualize what she'd described along the way. He would have to wait for the photograph to confirm, but he thought there might be a way to free him.

_If she's strong enough. She's been doing all the work, and she looks exhausted. Maybe I should make her rest a little longer._

Then he realized, and smiled to himself, in spite of the situation.

_Yeah, right. Maybe if I asked her nicely._

The sound of someone panting told him she was returning, and within a few seconds he saw her materialize from the darkness. She stepped over him once again, landing in the small clearing next to him. She pulled the phone from her pocket and called up the camera roll.

"Here. See? There's some debris right along it. I didn't touch it, but it looks like it would be easy to brush it off. And then….." sliding through a few more photos…."…..here's the crossbeam."

"Did you.."

"Yes, here…." Swiping once again…"the rest of the beam, to the end."

He studied it. And studied it. And studied it, for so long that JJ grew impatient.

"Well, what does it tell you?"

He took another few seconds to answer. "I think…I think we might be able to use it as a lever. If you can get the other debris off it, and then push the crossbeam up along the beam, almost to the end, it would lift this end from my leg, and I might be able to push it off me."

"How? You can't even sit all the way up without displacing the one above your chest."

"With my good leg. I can try to kick it away once it lifts."

JJ tried to visualize it, and what she saw wasn't encouraging.

"What if it falls again? What if I can't hold it up? Or what if I push too hard, and the crossbeam goes off the back end?"

He conceded, nodding. "Then it will fall back onto my leg again."

"And it could hurt you worse." _And we don't even know how badly hurt you are now._

"JJ, we have to try. This building came down around us, they don't even know where we are, and without the phone, they can't even use GPS. We have to be prepared to save ourselves."

He knew she was emotionally spent as well as physically, when he saw her hands cover her face. It was her way of hiding herself from the world, a child's way to hide weakness, and it was oh, so familiar to him. He gently tugged at one of her hands, which fell into his. He grasped it tightly.

"I really think I'm okay. The pain is too superficial. We'll be careful, but I think it will be fine. And, once I can move, I think I might be able to actually slide myself out from under this thing." Using his chin to point at the beam hovering above his chest. "Then it's just a matter of making our way out."

She snorted. "Easy as pie."

He smiled. "Maybe not so easy. But not impossible."

"If you say so. But, in case you hadn't noticed, we're losing the light."

Spaces in the debris had permitted the sun to provide small, spotty areas of illumination, but the light was, indeed, fading.

Reid_ had_ noticed. And he'd noticed something else as well…..the silence that told him it was unlikely a rescue effort was underway. It had been a weekend, and they'd been in the middle of a remote industrial park. They'd only told Emily they were running an errand as a favor to the victim's wife, but hadn't thought to mention where. And Garcia wouldn't be able to ping them without cell service. Unless there was a security detail scheduled to come by, or unless a distant neighbor had heard the sound and become curious, it was unlikely they would be discovered until tomorrow.

_Correction. It's unlikely the explosion will be discovered until tomorrow. Who knows how long it might take them to find us?_

He'd already calculated that they would have to spend the night. It was too dangerous for them to try to walk through the debris without being able to see their way, and his cell battery would only last so long. He would have to shut the phone down soon, hoping for a connection tomorrow.

_But I have to be able to move. That much, we have to accomplish tonight._

He gave her a few minutes to catch her breath, and insisted that she drink more water. As she did, he worked his belt out of its loops, trying not to cry out when he had to raise himself a little. But he couldn't hide his grimace.

"Spence, are you sure?"

"We have to, JJ. Help me get this around,,,,umph….I can't reach around my leg." Trying to do it himself.

She immediately leaned over him, and took over the wrapping of the belt, apologizing for any pain she was causing, and watching his face to estimate how bad it was.

He was doing the same to her, as she was using the hands flayed open by debris, and only lightly covered by the fabric of her blouse. But both of them knew that it really didn't matter. It had to happen.

Once they were satisfied with the tightness of the tourniquet, she was ready to go.

"Wish me luck."

"You have no idea how much luck I wish you!"

He'd made her laugh. She was about to set about doing something that, if she didn't succeed, could seriously harm him, maybe even kill him….and he'd made her laugh. But her laughter came through tears, which he felt, when she knelt to kiss him on the forehead.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

She started to move away, when she felt him tug at her hand. As she turned around, he lifted it to his lips, and kissed the back of it.

"I'll be here. And…..JJ…"

Eyes locked.

"I know."

She set off, needing to power the flashlight a little sooner this time, and brushing debris from the pinning beam as she went along. Once she'd reached the crossbeam, she searched for an effective perch for the cell phone flashlight, and called back to Reid.

"I'm ready! Are you?"

"Ready!"

_I hope._

For a few seconds, nothing seemed to be happening. But then he heard what sounded like a shower of debris, and he called out to her again.

"Are you all right?"

"Ummph…fine…ummph"

Another few seconds, and he felt a just the slightest bit of lightening of the pressure on his leg. He had the time to be grateful for the tourniquet, because it was keeping the leg relatively numb. If sensation had begun to flood back in with the removal of the pressure, he might have been too distracted to do what he had to do.

Which was to bend his right leg and bring it back until it touched the chest beam, and lift his foot, and….when the beam on his leg finally raised a few inches above his left thigh, he used his right foot to kick it away from him. It tried to swing back into place, but he caught it with his foot, held it for a second, and then gave it a great shove. Before it could swing back again, he used both arms to push off from the ground and shimmy himself out from under the propped chest beam. Then he sat there, chest heaving from effort, and adrenaline, and pain.

"Spence? I don't think I can hold it!" Sounding panicked.

He gathered enough breath to respond to her. "I'm out! Let it drop! You did it!"

He was still panting when he heard the thunderous sound of the beam dropping, followed by a cacophony of lesser, but equally concerning, noises, and he became panicked that she's somehow been struck by it.

"JJ! JJ! Are you all right?"

In the minute that followed, he could hear only the sounds of minor debris falling, like sand from a pail. After what seemed like eons, he heard her moving through the debris, and released his breath. He spied her before she spied him, uncertain footing requiring her to carefully choose where she put her feet. He released the breath he'd been holding when he saw her easily moving all four limbs. Finally, she looked up, and saw him, and her hand went to her chest in a gesture of gratitude. It was all she could manage at this point. Exertion and stress had taken her breath. She climbed over the belligerent beams and fell to the ground next to him.

With difficulty, he managed to perch himself awkwardly on his side, and leaned over her, inspecting for evidence of new injury.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

She lay there, eyes closed, for a long minute.

Too long.

But he waited her out, and her breathing slowed, and she became able to speak once again. Still panting, she answered him.

"I'm all right. I'll probably have a pretty impressive bruise here…" Using her left hand to gently probe her right arm, "…..but nothing feels broken or out of place."

"The beam?"

She nodded. "I managed to push it up the other one, but I was trying to hold it in place with my arm, and it kept sliding, and I kept pushing, and it kept hitting. But I did it! You're out!" Grinning.

He smiled in return. "Morgan would have been proud of me. He always thought my reflexes were too slow. Turns out they're pretty good when my life is in danger." Remembering several other times they'd proven the same.

He straightened himself and tried to bend forward to look at his leg, but his body wouldn't quite fold in that direction after the prior trauma to his chest.

Noticing, JJ pushed herself up. "Let me."

Reid leaned back on both elbows while she bent over him. She pushed aside the torn material of his pant leg, and probed the depth of his wound with the cell phone light.

"It's deep, but it's not to the bone. And it's not bleeding, but that could be the tourniquet, couldn't it? Should I loosen it?"

He suspected the tourniquet was providing some needed pain relief, but they had to know how bad it was. So he agreed.

"Give it a couple of minutes. In fact…." He started to push himself off from the floor, but JJ stopped him.

"What are you doing?! What if it's broken?"

"No time like the present to find out. If it needs splinting, I want to do it while we still have some light."

That brought JJ's eyes back overhead. "It _is_ getting darker. And I don't hear anything going on outside. Do you think they even realize we're here?"

He caught her gaze, and suddenly she knew that he'd known it all along. Reid shook his head.

"I don't think they realize what happened. They probably won't even miss us until we don't show back to the hotel. Maybe not even until the morning."

The plane's departure had been delayed because of a storm in the DC area.

JJ looked dejected. "Or until Will realizes I didn't call to say good night to the boys. He knows we'd already wrapped up the case. He won't just assume I'm working."

Reid stated the obvious. "I'm not so sure we _did_ wrap up the case."

"You think this was planned?"

He shrugged. "I don't…..I don't actually have much memory of what happened. I don't think it was a gas explosion, because there's no evidence of fire. The odds of us being hit by a meteor are…." His eyes went up and to the left, "…..twenty trillion to one. So, statistically, that's unlikely."

"Aren't we already sitting under a ton of 'unlikely'? Doesn't that put everything back on the table?"

"It should. But there's one other thing."

"What?"

"The fact that I'm alive. If that beam had fallen on my chest with the force of a single explosion, it would have killed me. But all of it fell slowly enough to trap me under pressure without doing any major damage."

He'd said it so matter-of-factly, but just the idea of it still frightened her, even after the fact.

_He could so easily have been killed! And on today, of all days!_

And then she processed the idea he'd put forth.

"You think it was more of a demolition? Do you think we were lured here? That it was directed at us?"

Another shrug. "I guess, technically, we _were_ lured inside the building, when we saw the door open and no cars in the parking lot. But how could anyone have known we were even coming here? It was just a favor."

Before she could respond, he started pushing himself up again, and she immediately placed herself under his right shoulder. Then he very carefully put some weight onto his left foot. JJ watched his face for any sign of pain as he increased the pressure on his foot.

"Does it hurt?"

He hesitated a second, then responded. "Probably no more than your knee or your hands. I think….", hopping on his right foot, and using her for balance, "…..maybe I need to wrap it. The edges are getting pulled too far apart. I think that's where the pain is coming from. I don't think it's bleeding….is it?"

She bent to take a look. "No. But are you sure it's not broken? That beam did some pretty good damage to your flesh."

"I can localize the pain now. It's all from the laceration. I have good stability with my leg."

She wasn't quite satisfied that he wasn't minimizing, but there was no point in arguing. What they needed to do was to get it wrapped, while there was still light.

"Okay," she said, raising her hand to her remaining sleeve, "I can wrap it for you."

"No, don't! I've got sleeves too, and it's going to be a cold night. Here….can you help me…"

She slipped his jacket from his shoulders as requested, noting his difficulty in accomplishing anything related to using his chest muscles, and wondering if he'd been hurt more than he'd let on. Then she helped tear his sleeve and, after washing out his wound with the remaining water, she wrapped the sleeve as a bandage around his thigh, sitting back on her heels to survey her handiwork.

"Okay. I think this is the clearest area for us to stay, but I want to get us more water before we lose the light completely. Then we can try to figure out exactly what happened and how we're going to get out of this."

He was glad to hear the note of optimism, but not happy to think of her carrying another heavy load.

"Let me get it."

"Uh-uh. You stay put. I'm not the one tied together….well, I guess I am, too, aren't I? But I at least know where I'm going, and it's getting darker by the minute. I'll be quick."

He had no choice but to let her go. In her absence, he pushed aside more debris to make a space for them to lie, and he replaced his belt. He wanted it handy in case he really did need a splint. Then he sat and tried his best to work through their situation, discomfited by the fact that there was a short gap in his memory, during which he had either been unconscious, or awake, and praying for his next breath.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 4**_

He ran through what he did know first.

_We saved the last victim, Linda, so we know we have our unsub. He even semi-confessed when Luke tripped him up on that other victim. Linda practically begged JJ to stay with her until her husband got home, so we sent the others back to the precinct ahead of us. Then she remembered those files she hadn't been able to bring to the business, and we offered to drop them off for her. But then the door was open, and we went inside… Wait…was there another car? I don't remember seeing another car.._

He was still pondering when he heard JJ heading back toward him. She'd used the same rigging she had the last time, hanging the trash pail around her neck so her hands would be free to work through the debris.

"Success!" she called.

He activated the flashlight app one more time so she could see her way to him and get situated. Then he retrieved the lone Styrofoam cup and urged her to drink.

"You've gotten a workout today. You need to hydrate."

"I filled up while I was at the fountain. It's your turn now." She reached out and turned the phone in his hand so she could see the screen. "Still no service. We'd better preserve the battery, don't you think?"

He agreed and, after they'd both situated themselves against a fairly solid wall of debris, he turned off the phone. The little bit of sky they could see was rapidly losing light now.

JJ hugged her knees. "I suppose there's no chance we'll have a full moon, right?"

"Actually, I think it's just past. So we might get a little light. But at least our eyes will accommodate. Plus, we need to try to get some sleep. If there's still no sign of life out there tomorrow, I think we're going to have to try to get out of here on our own."

She heaved huge sigh. "I don't know, Spence. I've been farther than you have. It's pretty filled in. And I'm afraid of making it unstable by pulling on the wrong thing."

"You're sitting next to someone with a PhD in engineering. I should be able to figure it out."

"Okay, so we won't accidentally kill ourselves. And I'm game if you are. I just don't have a lot of hope."

He hesitated, but finally decided that she had to know.

"Remember what we were talking about before? About whether this was a set up?"

She half-turned toward him. "You think it was?"

"I can't be sure, of course. But I think it was definitely not an accident. Whether it was aimed at two FBI agents, or maybe they thought it would be Linda delivering the files….."

"Or insurance fraud, and it was just our bad luck to be here."

"Ha. The odds of that would be even worse than twenty trillion to one."

"Not with our luck."

In the gathering dark, he felt her shiver, and he slipped his jacket off again.

"Here, put this on."

"Then _you'll_ be cold. Neither of us has any body fat."

"All right, we'll share." He held it up like a blanket as she scooted closer to him, and then he laid it over both of them. "Better?"

"Much. Thanks."

"Do you remember if there was another car in the lot? My memory is a little fuzzy."

Which confirmed for JJ that he must have been concussed.

"How's your head now? Do you have a headache? Blurry vision?"

"My head is okay. I just don't remember about the parking lot."

"I do. I remember thinking that it was strange that the door was open, with no vehicles in sight, because this place is pretty remote to have come here on foot."

"So whoever set this up had already left."

"Or had a partner who dropped him off."

That powered the light bulb inside Reid's head.

"A partner! Of course, how stupid can I be?!"

JJ looked over at him. "If _you're_ stupid, I'm in real trouble. What are you thinking?"

"It's just like that case! Gideon saw it, but she had me completely fooled until he showed me the signs. It was a partnership, a couple…..but the woman was the dominant."

The reference sounded vaguely familiar to JJ, but Reid had to recount more of the case to jog her memory.

"That's right, now I remember. So….what, you think Linda is behind this?"

"It makes sense, doesn't it? She was the only victim who survived, and they'd been escalating for a while. We didn't make enough of the fields of work the other victims were in because the first one was in a service job. But remember what she'd done just a few weeks before she was killed?"

"Jury duty. I know, because I had Pen go over all of the cases on the docket for the times she might have been in the courthouse. But nothing panned out."

"That's because we were focused on the felons. We should have been looking at the attorneys. Remember when Linda told us she'd worked as a legal secretary before she took the job with Progressive?"

JJ followed his line of reasoning. "She's been with Progressive for a year. But the first victim was killed a little over two years ago. You think Linda was there, in the courthouse? That she picked out the victims?"

"Probably. And then, think about it….each victim was just a little more successful, a little more powerful, than the last. It's possible she thinks killing someone in law enforcement, especially in an elite unit of the FBI, is the next logical step."

In the darkness, he couldn't see the widening of JJ's eyes, but he didn't have to. He could feel her tense next to him.

"You think she wants to kill _me_?"

"Think about it. She made a huge thing about having you stay with her. She had no idea I would decide to stay with you."

"But…. but….how could she have set this up? If this was a demolition, it would have taken a lot of time, wouldn't it?"

"Maybe it wasn't originally set up for us. Maybe she was planning on getting rid of someone at Progressive, someone further up the line from her. But we interfered with that plan when we caught the unsub….who is actually her partner."

"So she decided to take advantage of the opportunity and kill two FBI agents instead. But….the door was open. That's what lured us into the building. We had just left her. She couldn't have gotten here before us. Does that mean she has another partner?"

Reid thought back to the case Gideon had so insightfully solved. There had been a third person involved with the two, but he'd become a victim himself. Maybe the man they had in custody was playing that role. He shared his thoughts with JJ.

"Or maybe the third partner thinks he's in on an insurance scam. Whatever the reason, there's obviously a third person."

"And we have no way to tell the team. Great."

Reid laid his head back. "What a way to go out."

"You're not kidding. Who ever thought our last night in the BAU we'd be sitting in a pile of rubble waiting to be rescued?"

"Not me. Although there is one thing about it that I definitely knew."

She was intrigued. "What?"

"That we'd be together."

He felt the affection as she rested her head upon his shoulder. "Always." She laid a hand on his arm, drawing them closer, and he covered her hand with his.

"I guess it's appropriate that Gideon helped us figure this out."

"You. He helped _you _figure it out. He was always teaching you, quizzing you. I remember that."

"He taught me so much that I could never have learned from a book. He taught me by example."

"He taught all of us. I think those little quizzes he used to give you were responsible for Hotch eventually being able to trust me with selecting cases. I listened to every word both of you said."

Reid sighed. "I never really thought about the BAU coming to an end. But, if I had, I'd have pictured Gideon and Rossi both being there to usher it out, just like they ushered it in."

JJ squeezed his arm. "It's his legacy. The work will still be done, even if the entire FBI is being reorganized. At least Gideon and Rossi conceived of it, and proved its value."

Reid nodded. "He did. Nothing can take that away from him."

JJ lifted her head to look at him. "You still miss him, don't you?"

His face bore that pensive look that had become so familiar to her over the years.

"I'm not sure how to answer that. I mean, I hadn't seen him for years before he was killed. But I guess I always thought that I might, you know? That maybe, some day, the time would be right for him to come back, or for me to reach out. Not that I had any idea where to reach out to. The only thing I knew was the cabin, and he was never there when I went."

That caught her off guard. "You went to the cabin looking for him? When?"

"I went a couple of times. The first time…..the first time after I found his letter, anyway….. it was right after Henry was born. Right after you'd asked me to be his godfather."

She put her head back on his shoulder. "You related to it?" She felt him nod.

"It was also right after I'd seen my father for the first time in seventeen years. Inside I was a mess of conflicting emotions. I was angry with my father for having never reached out to me all those years, and he was only a few miles away from my mother. Then I was angry with myself for having misjudged him over what he'd done to protect my mother, and angrier still for having fallen right back into the role of the hurt little boy with him."

She tightened her grasp on his arm, and squeezed herself against him in sympathy.

"I'm so sorry, Spence. You didn't deserve it as a child, and you didn't deserve it as an adult, either. I wish I could have been with you that day. But I was unavoidably busy."

He chuckled. "Thank God. When you placed my little man in my arms for the first time….I didn't know how, and I had no idea what kind of a relationship we would grow….but I definitely felt like my life was changing."

Feeling her shiver once again, he lifted his arm and put it around her, pulling her closer, and resettling the jacket around them.

"Better?"

"Much." Pausing. "I hope Henry has done as much for you as you have for him."

"He's done far more. He's given me unconditional love. I mean, just think about those words. He loves me, whether or not I deserve it. I'd heard the term before, of course, but never really known what it felt like. And then, this little, squirmy, loud, happy, blonde baby gave it to me."

Smiling, as he remembered the youngest version of his older godson. JJ smiled, too.

"I know what you mean. There were so many days when I would come home feeling absolutely exhausted, and miserable, and I'd walk in, and there he'd be, arms up and reaching for me, this big grin on his face."

"You know, I love Michael just as much. But, with Henry….it was all new. Henry was kind of my teacher. He still is, in many ways."

"I'll deny having said it until the day I die, but I know what you mean. I love both of my boys to death, but there's something about a firstborn. Partly, I feel like I should always apologize to him, because I didn't know what I was doing. And partly, I feel like he and I have been on this great adventure together, and now we've invited his baby brother along."

She felt, more than heard, her companion heave a sigh, and knew instinctively what had caused it.

"You'll have your own one day, Spence. I just know it. And you'll be an amazing dad. I can just picture you teaching a little boy or girl about ... well, about pretty much everything in creation, and them being so eager to learn it all."

It was a point of familiar pain for him, and JJ knew it. Tapping her hand against his chest, over his heart, she added, "This thing is too big to be wasted. I know you have all this love in you, and I know you'll get to share it."

Reid caught her hand in action, and covered it with his palm. "I already have."

Caught off guard, she briefly thought he meant he'd been hiding something, or someone, from her. But then she realized what he meant. _ All_ the things that he meant.

"You're talking about the boys."

"And you. Emily. The whole team, really."

"And Maeve. Right?" Knowing he'd meant something more specific than 'everyone'.

Reid bit at his lower lip. "Yes."

JJ flipped her hand to entwine her fingers with his. "I wish I could have met her." Then, remembering the circumstance, where _he'd_ barely met her, she apologized. "I'm sorry. I just meant…. She must have been a pretty amazing woman to have won the heart of my best friend."

He squeezed the hand holding his. "No need to be sorry, I know it was unconventional. But, yes, she was pretty amazing. At least, I thought so."

"Then she was. And she was brilliant, and insightful, and I know that, because she made you happy."

He smiled. "That describes you, too."

"Ha! I wish. Seriously, Spence, I know you loved her, and it seemed like she loved you as well. She'd want you to have love in your life. I hope you won't let losing her keep you from looking for it."

He deflected. "Well, you found it. And I'm glad about that. Even though I was pretty stoked about that football game."

She giggled, remembering their one and only 'date'. "You were? I thought you were terrified."

"I was." Laughing along with her.

"Well, for the record, I did have a good time."

"You did? You looked so relieved when I took you home."

"Only because I'd been worried all day that you would pass out." She chuckled to herself again. "To be honest? I'm glad we didn't try it again. I think it might have gotten in the way of our friendship, which is way too precious to me."

"Being honest? Me, too. I had too peculiar a childhood to have found a best friend. But I found one in you."

She squeezed against him. "Not that I haven't tried to take a step back, now and then."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean, to take an objective look at you. You're not the same boy who followed Jason Gideon into the BAU, just like I'm not the same girl. You're a handsome, highly intelligent man. So, I've wondered, from time to time, if I weren't already taken, would I…."

"Whoa. Really?"

"Really. Don't misunderstand me, I love Will, and we have a great life together. I'm not saying anything about that. It's just that I wonder, sometimes, how it is that someone hasn't allowed you to sweep her off her feet."

"Well, maybe because it's kind of hard to get a date when you're hanging around in morgues and police stations."

She laughed. "Should I remind you that I met Will on a case?"

"Touche." He paused, reminiscing. "You know what I remember? I remember Elle asking me if I'd ever asked anyone out on a date. This was right before I'd asked you, so I told her 'no'. "That's why you can't get a date," she said."

JJ chuckled again, glad for the distraction in what promised to be a long night.

"Well, granted, I've not been on a date since before I met Will, but I'm pretty sure that's still true."

"Turns out that it is."

Sensing something, JJ pushed off, to look at him.

"Have you been dating? Spill, BFF."

He smiled affectionately at her. "Don't get excited. Yes, I have dated, but no, I've not been 'dating'. I've just been out a handful of times, but not with anyone I'm ready to bring home to my BFF."

JJ settled back down, as Reid did his best to tuck his jacket around them once again.

"Elle. Wow, I haven't thought of her in a long time. Do you keep in touch?"

"I tried to, when she first left. But then she moved, and moved again, and I lost track of her."

"You could have asked Garcia to find her. I'm sure she wouldn't have had any trouble."

"I know. But it didn't seem right. As much as I didn't like it, it seemed like she didn't want us, or maybe just me, to contact her, and I thought I should respect that."

"I get that, I guess. Respecting her choice, I mean. I just don't think I would ever not want to keep up with any of you guys."

"I actually did hear from her, a couple of years ago. At least, I'm pretty sure I did. It was after Gideon died. I got a sympathy card, and it said, "I know what he meant to you." That was it. And I'm pretty sure it was Elle, trying to disguise herself by using her non-dominant hand."

"Wow. So she kept up on what was happening with the team." JJ was silent for a moment, thinking back. "It's funny, we were never close. I mean, not at all like I was with Emily, and I was still the liaison then. I wondered if it was something about me, at first, something I'd said or done. But I came to think that it was just the situation."

He looked down past his chin to her. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that she was the first female profiler under Gideon, which was quite a feat. And, even though I was there before her, and technically shared the same rank, I wasn't on the front lines. I think she felt like she had to keep a separation between us, to make a point, if only to herself."

He thought about it. "That's pretty insightful, and you're right, it probably contributed. But I also wonder if she wasn't more sensitive than she wanted any of us to realize. She was the newest member of the team, at that time, even newer than me. And you and Garcia were already pretty close friends. Maybe she just felt like an outsider."

All too familiar with the feeling to discount it.

"Oh, geez, I hope not. Now I feel like a mean girl."

He squeezed her shoulder. "You're not a mean girl. It was just the circumstance."

"I guess. I mean, I think one of the reasons Pen and I hit it off was that we were usually the two left behind. It wasn't until Hotch took the unit chief position that I was invited into the field. And, even then, I was always the one coordinating from wherever we set up."

"Don't knock that. It's probably how you and I got to be so close. Remember, I wasn't exactly 'field material' when I first started."

"Well, for whatever reason, I'm glad we had that time together. I learned a ton, and I came away from it with the best friend I've ever had."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 5**_

"Should we try to get some sleep?" suggested Reid. "We don't know what will happen tomorrow. If we have to get ourselves out of here, we're going to need all the energy we can muster."

"I guess you're right. But I doubt I'll be able to."

"Just close your eyes. Giving the retina less stimulation is one of the key factors in allowing your brain to shut down."

"There's not exactly much retinal stimulation to be had. It's pretty dark in here. Not to mention the creepy noises."

Small showers of debris had been providing an unnerving backdrop to their conversation as the building settled around itself. Despite the fact that Reid had explained it to her, it had been all JJ could do not to clutch at him each time she heard it.

"You're sure it's not going to come down on us, right?"

He wasn't, not to an engineer's degree of precision. But he wasn't going to tell her that.

"Buildings settle all the time, JJ."

"But they're not already in pieces when then do! I think it's my worst fear…."

"Being in a collapsed building?" Doubt in every syllable.

"No….it's the dark. Not just the dark, but the_ noise_ and the dark…" He felt her shiver against him, and reflexively pulled her closer. "…..it's the combination. I've always been afraid of what happens in the dark."

Reid tilted his head down to look at her, his thoughts immediately brought back to a conversation he'd had with both her and Morgan, ages ago. They'd been on a case, and sharing their worst fears.

"I thought you were afraid of the woods. _I'm_ the one who's afraid of the dark."

Apparently she'd been brought back to that conversation too, judging from the rapidity of her response.

"No, I told you guys, I made that up. It's the dark I'm afraid of."

He made a face at her. "Why didn't you tell us then?"

"I don't know, I guess I didn't want to seem like the typical girl."

"Ahem. What did that make me?"

She looked up at him, trying to read his features, not sure how to interpret his words. His voice was still strained from its exposure to the dust, and she couldn't quite make out his tone. She was relieved to see the smile in his eyes, and responded accordingly.

"'Did' or 'does'?"

He narrowed his gaze at her in mock indignation. "If you're asking if I'm still afraid of the dark, the answer is 'yes'. But only when I'm alone. Which I'm not."

She smiled up at him. "Then I'm not afraid, either. But I still don't like hearing the building groaning all around us."

Reid had already examined their immediate environment, long before the sun had set.

"I think we're okay here. There are some large crossbeams above us, and it looks like they're wedged against one another. They should be stable. And you can see that sliver of moon there, right? So there's no debris directly overhead."

Not mentioning that those crossbeams could still slip if the debris beneath them moved. But there was nothing they could do about it now, and it wasn't necessary for both of them to be worried about it.

"So, you're telling me it's safe to ignore what I'm hearing, and try to sleep?"

"If you can."

"What about you?" Eyeing him, knowing him too well.

_You're going to stand watch, aren't you?_ Not at all surprised when he lied to her.

"I'll close my eyes for a while."

So she lied back to him. "Okay." Pausing, then, "Sorry if I snore."

Sure she'd gotten a grin, without even looking up at him.

"You snore? You've slept on my shoulder a thousand times on the plane, and I've never heard you snore."

"Apparently I do it when I'm lying down. Or so I'm told."

It took Reid longer than expected to respond, which prompted her to ask him.

"What?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. It's just…..I have no idea if I snore. I mean, I assume you guys would have told me, if I'd snored on the plane. But when I'm lying down…I have no idea."

"Yes, you do. You're always stretching out on the bench."

"On my side. It's not long enough unless I bend my legs all the way up."

When there was no comeback to that, he wondered if he'd said something wrong.

"JJ?"

"Huh? Oh. I was just thinking...the next time we're on the plane will be the last time."

As he processed it, the idea took him aback, just as it had her. But then he had the presence of mind to take comfort in the fact that she was looking past their present dilemma, and assuming there _would_ be a next time on the plane.

"Well, we'll have to make the most of it, then. Poker?"

"Hmm. I prefer gin. I once beat a genius at gin."

"As I told you then, the genius Dr. Reid let you win."

"You did not!"

He chuckled. "All right, you're right, I didn't. But I wasn't about to admit it."

A particularly loud and prolonged period of groaning of the materials overhead silenced any retort she might have made. Reid felt her clinging to him until the sound subsided.

"You okay?"

"For now, because we're each still in one piece. But…Spence, do you think we should move?"

Reid wasn't as confident in their safety as he'd been an hour or two ago, but at least they had some degree of light. Unlike JJ, he hadn't been able to move about the building and take stock of the status of the rest of it. He decided that that known was better than the unknown.

"I think we'll be okay. We're just hearing it all settling." Hoping he sounded more confident than he felt.

JJ had either picked up on his uncertainty, or her own consternation had become too strong to be so easily assuaged.

"If you say so. But I know I'm not sleeping a wink."

"Well, then, we may as well make use of the time." _Plus it will keep our minds occupied. _

"I'm game. What should we start with?"

"How about trying to figure out exactly where we are? It will give us a better sense of how far we have to go to get out."

"And which direction. Yeah, I know. But I wasn't able to make heads or tails out of anything. I could tell that the trash pail was from an office, but I didn't have a way to tell if it was the office we'd just cleared, or the one we were just approaching."

Reid thought about it for a minute. "How about when you first came to? Do you remember where you were, in relation to the office you were in later? Or even in relation to here?"

She tried to think, but it was frustrating.

"I don't even remember waking up. I mean, I assume I was unconscious, because I don't have a good memory of the blast, but…"

"What if I try to take you back?"

"Are you talking about a cognitive?"

She could feel the shrug of his shoulders. "It's worth a try, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, sure. Okay. I just….. I'm not sure how much help it will be, but we may as well try." _It's not like we're short for time_. "Okay, fire away."

"All right. Let me…. " He struggled to sit up, prompting JJ to do the same, and then he wrapped her in his jacket.

"Spence, no!" she protested, but he insisted.

"I'll be fine for a little while. I want you comfortable while we do this."

If she hadn't been so familiar with the process, she might not have acquiesced so easily. But she was, so she did.

"All right. But just for a little while. So, I'll go back to when I was waking up, and …"

"JJ, you can't undergo the process and control it at the same time."

Shaking his head at her, with the affection of someone who had often told her that 'control' was her middle name.

She was appropriately chagrined. "Sorry. I'll be good."

"Okay. Now, close your eyes and try to relax. Let's go back to before we came here. Back to when we were with Linda. Tell me about her house."

JJ did as instructed. "It was dated. I remember thinking that it looked like the home of one of our neighbors, when I was growing up, except that it would have been considered stylish, back then. I kind of felt sorry for her, because I thought maybe they couldn't afford anything new. Either that, or she was stuck in the past."

Reid thought JJ might just have hit upon something about the case there, but that wasn't the matter of primary urgency now, so he wasn't about to interrupt her.

"Okay, good. Do you remember what Linda asked us to do?" Fairly confident in his own memory of it, but then, he'd been knocked out, too.

JJ nodded, eyes still closed. "She was worried that the investigation had kept her from bringing the files back here, and she was too rattled to do it by herself, alone, even though we'd caught the killer. So we waited with her until her husband got home, and then we offered to drop them off for her."

That also struck a chord with Reid. "Why did we do that? Why didn't we just let her take care of her own business, once her husband was home?"

JJ's brow furrowed above her eyes, which were still closed.

"I don't …. Wait. She asked us to. Or she may as well have, anyway. I think she said something about being so tired, and she wished she wouldn't have to go out again, just to drop folders through a mail slot."

_Exactly,_ thought Reid, remembering it now.

"So, what happened then?"

"We offered to drop them off for her. Once she mentioned the mail slot, it seemed like an easy enough favor to do."

Reid nodded, brought back to the moment when Linda had proffered the idea of the mail slot.

_She's got to be in on this. _Confirming his prior hypothesis.

"Okay, great. So, what happened when we arrived here?"

"Umm… I remember that I walked up to put the folders into the mail slot, when I saw that the door was open. Not just unlocked, but open, ajar. And I thought it was strange, because she'd implied that no one would be in the building on the weekend. So I came back to the SUV, and told you, and we decided to go in."

"Go on." With her now, in memory.

"So, we went inside, and all of the lights were off, except for the exit signs overhead, and some scattered power lights for various devices. There was a hallway, and there were offices on one side of it. We tried the first door we went to, and it was open, so we went in and cleared it. Then we kept going down the corridor, and there were more offices, and we'd cleared …one, two…I think we'd cleared three of them. And then, we came to a fourth, and I opened the door, and….. and….. and I don't remember any more. Not until I woke up. But the only thing I really remember about waking up is that you weren't next to me, and I had to find you, and then…oh, God."

He reached out to calm her. "It's all right, I'm all right."

"You're not all right. You don't even know if you can walk."

"But I can breathe, thanks to you. And I will be fine. All right, so, from what you've told me, I can make an educated guess that the explosion came from somewhere closer to me than to you, and I was behind you. So it probably came from the other side of the hallway. Do you remember what was there?"

JJ closed her eyes again. "I remember there was a stairwell, and a small elevator. I remember the bathrooms. And a utility closet. And another door? Two? I'm not sure."

"I'm not, either. But I do remember the bathrooms, now that you mention them. So, the work space was to the right of the corridor, the utility space to the left, and there was obviously a second floor, but I can't tell how much of it is still standing. My guess is that the explosive was probably set to the left side, which would have been behind us as we entered each office. So that means we're three or four offices deep into the rubble, and possibly somewhere near the utilities."

"Wait! The drinking fountain, where I got the water….it was probably near the bathroom, right? Don't they keep all the things that require plumbing together? So it was in that direction…." Pointing to where she'd retrieved the water earlier. "But that seems too close to be near the bathrooms, unless we were thrown that far. And if we were thrown that far…" Stopping abruptly.

"If we were thrown that far, why are we alive? Is that what you were going to say?"

She nodded, a little too shaken to speak.

Reid purposely remained impassive. "I agree. So, it's possible the drinking fountain wasn't actually near the lavatory. Or…." Thinking it through even as he spoke, "….or the walls have come down, giving you a direct shot to it, but not through the hallway. That would shorten the distance."

JJ shook her head in frustration. "How does that help us?"

Reid consoled her. "I think it means that we have a direct shot to the front of the building, if we move in the direction of the water source. Or at least I hope it does."

JJ took that in and pondered it for a moment. But her pondering ceased when another a semi-distant showering of debris was followed by another prolonged groan from overhead.

That was too much for JJ. "Spence, are you sure we shouldn't move?"

He laid out their situation as best he could. "My phone is running low on power, so the only reliable light we have is from overhead. You've been out further than I have. Do you think we could navigate it in the dark?"

JJ hung her head in defeat. "No. I mean, you saw how banged up I got going back and forth for water, and that was in daylight, with two functioning legs. I don't think there's any chance you could do it, especially since we haven't really tested your leg yet."

The discouragement in her voice and posture was obvious, and Reid felt guilty about being the source of some of it. He still wasn't fully certain that their overhead shelter would hold the night, but he thought it was their most realistic chance for survival. Still, he felt he needed to offer her the choice. He wouldn't be the reason she didn't give herself a chance. So, despite his best instincts, he made a suggestion.

"Do you want to try on your own? You'd have a better chance without me, and you could use the moonlight for part of the distance, and my phone, once the moonlight fades. Maybe you'd pick up more light further out."

JJ's gaze narrowed. "And leave you behind, completely alone and in the dark? Are you kidding me? I thought we made a promise, way back when, didn't we? That we would always stay together?"

She'd been speaking about how they'd promised to conduct themselves in the field, in the aftermath of Tobias Hankel. But her words carried even more significance this time. Because this time, even if they succeeded in saving themselves, their time together would be measured in hours. There was no time left for 'always'.

Reid caught her gaze in the moonlight, his hazel staring intensely into her blue.

"I just never want to be the cause of anything bad for you. I don't want you to suffer harm because of me, or because you were trying to help me. You're too important to me, and I couldn't have that."

JJ's lips thinned as she pushed back a wave of emotion. Once she was sure of her voice, she told him.

"In case you still don't realize it, Spencer Reid, it would hurt me to my core to lose you. You are too much a part of who I've become, and I wouldn't know how to be 'me' without you. So the last thing I'm ever going to do, is leave you behind."

Reid had to swallow his own reaction. Maybe they were both just being emotional because of their circumstance. Or maybe it was because of their head injuries. Or, just maybe, it was because what they'd each just said to one another was true. But, even if true, and even if it needed to be said before they separated, this was not the time. And it was most definitely not the place.

So Reid simply pushed himself back against what remained of a wall, and lifted his arm, creating a space at his side. JJ took her place there, folding in tight against him, and he spread his jacket over them once again.

"All right, then. We'll spend the night, and start moving with first light."

_And, unless a rescue team miraculously shows up, we'll hope we're alone._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 6**_

The cold and damp penetrated through their attempt at huddling together, and they had to give up on even the pretense of sleeping.

"We're going to need a plan tomorrow, aren't we?" JJ tried to keep her teeth from chattering. "Any ideas?"

"Well, for starters, I'm going to need to test my leg. I'm pretty sure it's not broken, but I haven't tried to bear weight on it yet."

The available light had waned with the movement of the moon across its arc in the sky. They could barely see a few feet beyond where they were sitting, but that didn't stop JJ from trying to visually search the area.

"I think there's something over there," indicating the direction with a movement of her head. "It looks close to the right length. If we need to, we can use it as a crutch for you."

He wasn't so sure it would help. "I don't know that I would be able to climb the rubble anyway. Maybe, when it's light, you should…."

JJ's hand on his chest stopped him.

"I told you, I'm not leaving you behind. I can push the debris out of your way, if I have to."

"JJ…."

He'd been about to tell her his estimation of its weight, and the unlikelihood of her success, but he stopped himself. If she wanted to believe she could do it, he would let her, even if just for the night.

"What?"

"Huh? Oh, never mind. I mean…" Changing the subject, to another that was equally disturbing, but necessary to discuss. "I've been thinking about the explosion. About the person who set it."

"Linda's accomplice?"

"Yes. Or, maybe, Linda herself."

JJ didn't follow. "How could it have been Linda? We'd just left her."

"This is a business. There are probably security cameras. For all we know, she could have been watching us, and detonated it remotely."

"But why was the door open then, or….oh. You think she left it open because she knew we would feel like we needed to check it out."

Her voice reflected her hesitancy. She sensed there was a flaw in her theory, but was having trouble sussing it out. Reid tried to help.

"Maybe so. Or maybe she was targeting someone else, and we just walked into it."

"Someone else?"

"I still think she may have an accomplice. Maybe she was trying to get rid of him."

JJ gave an alternative explanation.

"Or maybe_ he_ was trying to get rid of _her_, and we walked in on him setting up the explosion. That would explain the open door, too."

"But not the absence of another car in the lot."

She deflated. "Oh. Right." Thinking a few moments more. "Maybe he knew there were cameras. Maybe he knew a way into the building where he wouldn't be seen, but he knew the cameras would pick up on a car in the lot."

Reid spent a few moments considering the various scenarios, and their implications.

"We really can't narrow this down without more information. But we need to consider what any of it might mean for us."

JJ followed his train of thought.

"You mean, whether they might come back to make sure they'd accomplished what they set out to do."

Reid nodded. "Whether they were targeting each other, or targeting us, I think we can safely assume that the remote location and the fact that it's a weekend aren't a coincidence. They wanted to give themselves the option of finishing things off, if the explosion didn't work."

He felt JJ tense.

"Do you think they're out there now?"

"I don't know. But I think we would have heard them, if they'd been moving in the rubble. I was able to hear you."

"Do you think they would be able to hear us talking?" Her voice reflexively dropping to a whisper.

"I doubt they'd be able to get close enough without us hearing them. But I guess we can keep it down, just in case."

"At least we have our weapons," assuring herself as much as she was Reid.

He wasn't sure his injured leg would give him the stability to shoot, but he went along with her.

"And we have the ability to profile. If they're out there, we'll need to outthink them." Whispering, just as she was.

That wasn't so reassuring to JJ, who tapped her head as she spoke. "I don't think I'm quite on my game. Are you?"

"You mean the concussion? I'm not one hundred percent, but…"

She gave him a wry smile. "But when you start at 187, losing a few isn't as big a deal. Was that what you were going to say?"

"Not quite that way. But…well, yes." JJ's head rose and fell as her companion heaved a huge sigh of memory. Reid's mind had been drawn back to his early days with the BAU once again, as it had so often in recent weeks.

"Did you know that I avoided telling people, when I first started?"

"Spence, you still avoid it."

He squeezed his acknowledgement. "That's because it's usually not the point. But, back then, even when it was….I was just so used to being ostracized for my intelligence that I had trouble acknowledging it out loud. I remember a couple of times when Hotch had to push me."

JJ looked amused. "Are you saying that Hotch wanted to show off your brain? What, were you like his secret weapon?"

"Ha. No, I think he more wanted me to get past it. I guess sometimes it was obvious, and someone would ask, and I would falter, and Hotch…"

"Hotch just wanted to move on. I can see that. He was always pretty driven."

Reid lapsed into memory for a moment. "He was."

JJ tilted her head up. "You miss him." A statement, rather than a question.

He looked down at her. "I do. Don't you?"

"Well…don't tell Emily, but …yes. I miss him terribly. Not that I don't think she's terrific. But Hotch…I mean, I think I might miss him just for him, you know? But I also miss what he brought to the team."

Reid latched on to her middle sentence. "You and he were pretty close, weren't you?"

He felt her shrug against him.

"You know, I don't know how to answer that. I mean, we had a very supportive work relationship. He pushed me in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. It was only because of him that I had my first personal taste of profiling, when he asked me to start screening cases for the team. And I don't know that I would have seriously considered it at all, if not for a conversation we had on the plane, after one of our cases."

"What did he say?"

"He wondered if I wanted to become a profiler, because he thought I'd done some good work on the case. And I told him that I was very content being a liaison."

"Hmm. I guess he was pretty good at pushing both of us, without us realizing we were being pushed."

JJ pondered that for a moment. "I'm just thinking about all the people we've had lead us over the years. They all did it in such different ways."

"Present company included."

She gave a silent guffaw. "For two whole cases, and under duress, at that. No, believe me, leading the BAU has never been on my bucket list."

"You have one?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't know, I guess I've never thought there was much point. They're not really logical, when you think about it. You can't take the experiences with you, and if you die before having them, it's not like you're going to miss them."

JJ chewed on that for a few minutes. "You're right, I guess, at least as far as things like sky diving or seeing the Grand Canyon go. But what if what's on your bucket list are things like falling in love, or having a family? You can't take them with you, but they're pretty much how you sum up your life."

"Fair enough. Maybe they're not so much bucket list items as aspirations. Hopes for how you get to spend your time from birth to death."

"So, what are your aspirations?"

Not that she hadn't deduced them over the course of thousands of conversations, but there had never been an exchange so specific. Nor so precious, by virtue of the circumstance they were in, and the time they would have left together, should they make it through this ordeal.

When he didn't respond right away, she offered a possibility.

"You want children someday, don't you?"

His sigh was constricted by the weight of her leaning against him.

"For the briefest of time, I thought that I _would_ have them. But then…"

"Spence, I told you, you still can. You will."

He smiled. "I know you want it for me. And don't think I haven't been aware of how lucky I am that you've shared yours with me. But I've had to accept that it may not be something that will happen for me."

"It could, if you were open to it." JJ shifted, to get a better look at him. "Spence, I know how much pain you were in after you lost Maeve. I saw it. And I know it took you a long time to get past it." When she saw him start to shake his head, she corrected herself. "No, I know. You never really get past it. You don't want to, because it feels like a betrayal. I felt that way even with Roz. But you…I guess you incorporate it, you make it part of the person you bring to the next relationship. But it doesn't mean you can't have a next relationship."

"I know. And maybe it will happen. But I'm not going to make it my life's aspiration, since we're talking about them. Because, if it doesn't happen for me, I still have to have a way that I live my life, a way to make it meaningful."

"For what it's worth, your life has been pretty meaningful to me."

He smiled at that. "Thanks. And, ditto."

JJ leaned into him. "I can't believe we're never going to do this again. Well, not this, specifically. But, you know, that we won't be working together, and seeing each other every day. Talking like this That I won't come in to work in the morning, and find a mug of coffee on my desk, and get to tell you all about the boys, and listen to you expound on…..whatever."

He chuckled. "I thought you hated my 'rambles', as you call them."

"That was before I knew I wouldn't hear them again. And, for the record, I've never hated them. Some of them just seemed a bit….long."

"If you'd ever asked Morgan, they also seemed …I believe the term was 'whacked out'."

"Oh, talk about missing someone! If you'd asked me, when I first joined the BAU, whether I would ever be close to SSA Derek Morgan, I'd have said, 'No way!'. But he kind of wormed his way into my heart."

"Tell me about it." Reid reminisced for a moment. "He was the closest thing I'll ever have to a brother. Still is, really. And I never would have thought it."

"Yeah, turns out the big tough guy is a teddy bear at heart."

Reid nodded. "That's a pretty sizeable heart. He ….." Stopped by the emotion that had unexpectedly risen within. JJ felt it as much as she heard it.

"You okay?"

After a few additional seconds spent recovering himself, Reid responded to her.

"Fine. It's just… I was remembering. I think that, as much as Hotch and Gideon mentored me, it was Morgan who made me into an agent. He didn't have to, it wasn't his job. But he was patient with me…well, sort of….and he showed me by example."

JJ knew what he meant. "He's the one who took it upon himself to teach me hand-to-hand. I think it was originally because he didn't think I was ready for the field, mind you. But then he kind of embraced it. He embraced me, too, and taught me the ropes."

Reid was lost to memory once again. "He taught me that it was okay to have flaws. Hotch and Gideon weren't comfortable with their flaws, so they never showed them…"

"Hotch? Really?" Remembering several times their former unit chief had been that open with her.

She felt Reid shrug. "I don't know, maybe it was me. Maybe I idolized them too much. I guess maybe Hotch did show me his vulnerability, the day Haley served him with the divorce papers. I mean, he wasn't himself after Foyet, either. But the only time he opened up to me was when he got those papers. He was…he was just sad, I guess."

JJ nodded. "I felt so bad for him about that. Of course, Rossi had replaced Gideon by then, and between the two of them, I couldn't help but wonder if being in the BAU was poisonous to the idea of marriage."

Reid had always wondered, but never asked, even though she was his best friend. Maybe _because_ she was his best friend.

"Is that why you and Will put it off?"

Not realizing that the decision had been hers alone.

It was JJ's turn to ponder her words. "Hmm….maybe."

The brevity of her reply made him apologetic. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

She sighed. "No, it's okay. I know it probably seemed strange, that we could have had a child together, and been living with each other for years, and still not been married."

He was quick to defend her to herself. "Not so strange at all. It happens all the time, doesn't it? There are a lot of couples who never marry at all."

She conceded his point, even while amused that he should be making it. Once upon a time, Spencer Reid had lived his life by the rules.

_Now, not so much._

"I guess maybe it just seemed strange to me, because that kind of thing didn't happen in the town where I grew up. Or, more correctly, it did happen, but it was looked upon as all kinds of scandal."

"Really? Does that mean your mom was upset about it?"

"She kind of was, until she met Henry. Then she fell in love, and all was forgiven."

"So, she didn't pressure you to get married?"

Still protective of her, so many years after the fact. Despite their closeness, there remained limits to their sharing, and he'd never quite understood what had, and hadn't, caused her to make the decisions she'd made, nor what had caused them to change.

"Not after I first told her I was pregnant. She kind of asked, but the implication was there, that she thought we should be married first. But I just couldn't…"

Trailing off, lost in memory. Reid was torn about bringing her back. The conversation was serving as a welcome distraction from their predicament, even if he knew they were both on alert for any hint of threat.

_And it's a way to pass the time until we have daylight again. _

The thought threw him into his own tangential reverie about the passage of time, and the fact that each moment that brought them closer to daylight also brought them closer to the end of this beloved, familiar work relationship. Their friendship would continue, and they would still be in one another's lives. But it would all have to be scheduled, and arranged. The comfort of seeing his friends every day, and especially his best friend, the sense of belonging, of caring and being cared for, the warmth of knowing and being known….all of these things would be gone from his life.

"Hey…" He felt her jostling him as she spoke. "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine."

Knowing his tendency to minimize, JJ sat up and studied him for a long moment, taking stock of his color, the pace of his respirations. Then she made a show of reaching for his wrist, prompting a reaction from Reid.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking your pulse, obviously."

"You can't see your watch."

"I can tell if it's fast or not. And it's not." _Thank God._ "But I also know you're not 'fine'. So tell me."

Sometimes he loved that she mothered him, and sometimes he hated it. This time, it was both.

"All right. I was thinking about how things are about to change. I mean, assuming this is behind us after tomorrow. I was just thinking about all of the things that won't happen anymore."

He was caught off guard when her eyes immediately filled.

"What's wrong?"

She looked annoyed with herself. "You just said it. So many things are coming to an end for us. I've been crying about it all week."

"You have?"

Knowing how much she valued being seen as tough, and composed. In fact, he was willing to bet that he was the only one with whom she'd so willingly dropped the façade, over their years together.

_Although I doubt there was ever anything 'willing' about it. I'm just better at seeing through her._

Or maybe he was always just too worried about the emotional cost to both of them, should he allow her to push him away. Whatever the reason, she'd most regularly shown her vulnerabilities to him.

"Yes, me. I know, I'm supposed to be the practical one, but….God, Spence, the BAU has been my home for almost my whole adult life! The same for you. How do we let it go? How do we let each other go?"

He had no answer to that, save to open his arms and draw her into them. They held each other tightly, their minds each revisiting a thousand memories of nothing moments that had accumulated into treasure.

Reid whispered into her ear. "I don't have the words to tell you how much you mean to me. How much you've changed my life."

He heard her sniffle. "The same for me, Spence."

Reid pushed back just a little, still holding her. "I honestly don't think I would still be in the BAU, if not for you."

"Yes, you would. You…."

His look stopped her. "I don't think so. I came because of Gideon, and I found a professional home with the BAU. I found some wonderful, deep friendships, too. But the work was so hard, and the things that happened to…."

His words sent both of them into the past, conjuring images of some of the most painful times in their lives. For each of them, those images ended with the memory of the other, there to comfort and console at the close of the ordeal.

"….I don't think I could have gotten through them without being able to trust that you would be there, on the other side. You've always seen better in me than I've seen in myself."

She smiled through tears. "I can say the same." Looking away, as a thought struck her, and then turning her gaze back to him. The thought wasn't a new one. But the idea of sharing it with him was. She'd always been too shy about it before, and it had always seemed too awkward. But now…

_If not now, when?_ So she told him.

"Sometimes I think that I try to live up to your idea of who I am. Which is a good thing, I guess. I mean, it's made me try to be worthy of the pedestal."

"I don't…." So quick to deny, so practiced in it. He'd accused himself of the same, many times. And he'd always lost the argument. "All right, so maybe I have always put you on a pedestal. But that's just because you were the first beautiful girl I'd ever met who was genuinely kind, and caring. I wasn't used to that. And, as far as I'm concerned, you've more than earned your pedestal."

She chuckled. "I think we both know that I've fallen off it more than a few times. But, really, Spence, I can't think of anyone whose opinion of me matters more. You can't possibly know how much it means to me."

"I don't… I don't even know what to say to that."

They'd long ago become open with their affection for one another, but they'd never had this level of conversation about it. He'd known he had a place in her heart. To be confirmed in her esteem was new to him, and he savored it.

"You don't have to say anything. It's just a fact. I'm Spencer Reid's biggest fan."

He still didn't know how to respond, so he deflected.

"Maybe your concussion was worse than we thought."

"Ha. Seriously, Spence. Maybe we wouldn't have been talking about any of this if things weren't changing, or if we weren't stuck in a bombed out building. But I'm glad we are, because you should know what an amazing person you are."

He shifted position, still uncomfortable with the flattery, even as he understood she didn't mean it as such. Coming from the person who knew him best, it fell upon him like a warm blanket. He pulled the blanket closer, and then realized it was her in his arms.

"Sorry." Relaxing his grasp.

But, in the cold night air, his embrace had actually warmed her, and she snuggled back into it. Reid let go long enough to rearrange his jacket over them, and then they both sat in silence for a while, until JJ's whisper broke into it.

"Have you ever thought about what might have happened if we hadn't been quite so young when we went to that football game?"

_Only about a thousand times._

Aloud, he responded, "I'm sure I would have blown it some other way."

"How do you know that? What if we'd gone on a date, and had a great time, and ….."

"And, one of us would have had to leave the BAU. We couldn't have been in a relationship and gone into the field together."

"I know. Still ….. sometimes I think about it."

Her words made him wonder about something he'd occasionally pondered in the past, for different reasons.

"JJ….are you happy?"

She didn't have to ask what he meant by that. But she hesitated nonetheless. The answer was complicated.

"I am. At least, I think I am. My life isn't perfect, but no one's ever is, right? Things change. Relationships change. They evolve. My life has evolved, that's all."

He stared down at her. "I just want you to be happy. I know it's an illusion, but …well, I want it for you."

She raised a hand to stroke his cheek. "I know you do. It's one of the many reasons I love you."

He smiled at her. "But that hasn't stopped you from wondering."

She shook her head, prompting his response.

"Well, since we're being honest… I guess I've wondered, too."

They held each other's gaze for a long moment, until JJ's hand moved from his cheek to his neck, and pulled it towards her. They hesitated for what seemed an eternity, weighing responsibility against desire. In the end, they both recognized it as curiosity more than anything else. A curiosity that became insatiable, in the moment.

Reid lowered his lips to hers, and the two came together, just barely, a mere whisper of a kiss. They pulled back, and smiled, and nearly laughed at the preposterousness of it. But, having tasted, their lips wanted more, and they came back together, much more insistently this time, much more deeply.

For Reid, it was one of the most precious moments of his life, holding in his arms the person he'd so long held in his heart, tasting her, recognizing the sweetness he'd somehow always known he would find there.

JJ hadn't exactly fantasized about it, but she'd long wondered what it would be like. If he'd feel as strong as he'd seemed to have become. If there would be a residual sweetness there. If his beard would bristle against her cheek. If he would take the lead, or leave it to her.

She didn't have to wonder about any of those things any longer. JJ gave herself over to the moment, even as she recognized that was all it would, or could, ever be.

All too soon, they released, looking at one another in embarrassed surprise. It was Reid who found his tongue first.

"Well, I was right."

Her brows went up. "About what?"

"About what it would be like."

"What does that mean?"

"It means," he said, "that I'm a genius."


	7. Chapter 7

_**A.N. As always, thanks for the interest, follows, likes and especially your comments, which make this much more of an interesting dialogue than a prolonged monologue. Just emerging from an annual 'work crunch', so hoping the chapters will come a little more frequently from here. We're a week away from the end of filming, and an era.**_

* * *

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 7**_

Among the many things Spencer Reid pondered that night was the irony of the situation. Here they were, injured and isolated in the bowels of a collapsed building, possibly the targets of a serial killer, weakened by pain, and cold, and the lack of food and sleep….and the one thing that kept rising to prominence in his thoughts was the fact that he had just kissed a woman he'd loved for nearly fifteen years.

_Just possibly, it's because she's still in my arms. _

Despite his quip about being a genius, meant to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation, the two had lapsed into silence after their kiss, each lost in their own thoughts.

_The awkward wonderfulness of the situation_, thought Reid.

And JJ.

Not that it could or would lead to anything. Once upon a time, when they'd been new to each other, and relatively unencumbered, they'd been free to make a choice about whether they would form a relationship, and what form it might take. But then life, and circumstance, and timing, had intervened, and ultimately, the choice had been taken from them. Fate or karma or destiny ...or maybe just the happenstance of kindred souls...had allowed their bond to form, but abrogated their choice about the nature of it. And so, they had become deeply attached, in such a unique way that even Reid's expansive vocabulary couldn't quite describe it.

The kiss had done nothing to clarify what was between them, but nor had it caused confusion. It had simply confirmed something they'd both already known. That they loved each other, in the most complicated and complex ways, and were comfortable in the knowing. That, just maybe, there was an alternate life they'd not lived, yet not longed for, because what they _did_ have between them was so affirming and precious and tender. Neither of them was about to do anything to change that now.

Which didn't mean they wouldn't treasure the memory, nor that they wouldn't revisit it, often. But they both recognized it as what it was, only moments later: a memory, added to all of those that had come before, part of that treasure they shared between them.

They lay together in silence, each reliving the moment, and very conscious of the proximity of the person with whom it had been shared. JJ pulled herself closer, resting her head on Reid's shoulder, while Reid tucked his jacket more tightly around them. When he was satisfied that he'd done his best, he leaned his head down to speak into her ear.

"Sleep," he whispered. "We're going to need our strength in a few hours. You worked hard today, and you need to rest."

She tilted her head up, her fatigue evident in her eyes, and in the fact that she didn't fight him on it.

"We'll take turns. Wake me in an hour, okay?"

"Okay."

Pushing her head down again, cradling it against him, with absolutely no intention of waking her until they had enough light to start making their way out. He smiled to himself when he felt the heaviness of sleep overcome her, pushing her more deeply against him. In the quiet that followed, he reined in his memory, and took stock of their situation once again.

At least the exchange of body heat was keeping each of them half warm. And they were hydrated. There was that.

_But we're going to need to get out of here tomorrow. We're both going to need our strength, and I haven't even tested mine yet. _

But he _had_ tested his endurance. He'd been truthful with JJ when he'd told her he had no residual pain from the beams having fallen on his chest and leg.

_Then. But not now. _

He was familiar with the physiology. While nothing had been broken, or so he was assuming, the soft tissues of his chest and thigh had been crushed under the pressure of the heavy beams. Once the pressure had been relieved, it had been possible for the tissues to react to their injury. Damaged blood vessels had leaked their contents, damaged muscle had released its contents, and the healing process had begun, bringing along with it a great excess of fluids. He could feel the ache in both traumatized sites, and was certain there was significant swelling in both places. Ironically, he was less worried about his chest than he was about his leg, because it would be the leg that would be both gravitationally dependent, and forced to bear weight, interfering with healing.

_But there's nothing to be done about it, unless I can rig some sort of crutch. I hope she was right about that one piece of debris being the right length. And then I have to hope it can hold my weight._

Once again he tried to envision what he presumed to be the layout of the building, and where they might be within it. He had a vague sense of direction based on what he could remember of the location of the sunset, but he was having trouble recalling where the parking lot, and their vehicle, might be in relation to it. Which thought made him wonder if he still had the keys in his pocket, and become irritated that he'd not thought about it before.

_Maybe my concussion was worse than I thought. Or maybe…_

Maybe it had been his struggle to oxygenate his blood, with the beam lying on his chest. JJ had told him about the duskiness of his lips and her fright that he hadn't been effectively exchanging air. Neither of them had a sense of how long they'd been out. They only knew that he'd been out longer, and with ill effect.

He had to hope that JJ might be able to help him orient them, before they chose a direction to move. The distance was probably not all that far, but with their injuries, and with the piles of debris between them and freedom, the distance wouldn't matter. The hardship would.

Deciding that he might at least be able to answer one question, Reid slid his arm from JJ and down toward the pocket of his trousers. He slid his hand inside, and was alarmed when he couldn't feel the familiar metal texture and shape of their vehicle key.

_Maybe it's in my other pocket._

Which he couldn't reach without rousing JJ, so it would have to wait.

Thwarted, Reid leaned his head back against the debris. He was exhausted, hungry, aching, worried, frustrated, torn, in turmoil. This was to have been his last night working as a member of the BAU. He was facing the ending of his work relationships with people who had become his friends, the ending of work that had given his life definition for fifteen years, the majority of his adulthood. And all of that, only if they managed to find their way out of this mess relatively intact.

They. He and JJ. His best friend. Whom he had just kissed.

Reid's mind presented him with a cacophony of images, and recalled conversations, and cases, and shared meals, and laughter, and tears. And a kiss.

And, just possibly, an unsub, lying in wait for them.

Despite his promise to JJ, and weakened by his injuries, Reid's thoughts brought him to a breaking point. He succumbed to his exhaustion, and fell asleep.

* * *

The sun was up before either of the profilers.

JJ stirred first, her eyes gradually blinking open. It took her a moment to realize that the body warming hers wasn't that of her husband, even while she felt the comfort and familiarity of it. She tilted her head upward and called to him, in a loud whisper.

"Spence….Spence!"

Waiting, calling again, and then, finally, shaking him a little.

"Spence!"

It was the movement that did it. Reid stirred, and then startled.

"Wha…"

"Wake up! We both fell asleep."

She could tell by the look on his face that his brain was undergoing the same process of orientation that hers had. And she could tell the moment he realized, all over again, their plight.

"Oh." His head falling back.

JJ pushed off and sat beside him, taking inventory. He'd accumulated a small amount of fresh blood on his thigh, but his color was good, and he seemed to be breathing easily enough.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. You?"

She chuckled. "You don't exactly look 'fine', but I'll settle for not feeling worse than you did yesterday."

His grin was sheepish. "All right, not exactly 'fine'. My head hurts, but my leg is pretty numb, mostly from the cold, I think."

"Your leg is bleeding again. Did you see?" Drawing his attention there.

"Hmm. Maybe the belt loosened. Doesn't look like much, anyway."

Hoping his words would assure her, although he was a bit alarmed that the wound would still be bleeding at all, nearly a day after he'd incurred it.

_I probably damaged a big vessel, which means it might bleed again, when I put weight on it. _

Which also meant that he would definitely need to rig something to use as a crutch.

"Where did you see that piece of …..what was it? The thing you thought I could use to lean on."

JJ had to look around, initially frustrated at not remembering, then relieved to spot it again.

"There." She pointed. "It looks like a metal support of some kind. I'll go and get it."

She started to rise, but was stopped by his hand on her shoulder. "Wait."

"What?"

"You never answered my question. How are _you_ feeling? How are your hands?"

JJ tried to shrug him off. "I probably have the same headache you have. And my hands are f.."

Her voice cutting off, as she held her palms out between them, and actually looked at them for the first time since wakening. Her makeshift bandages were largely hanging away from the cuts, which now looked angry, the tissue around them also red, and beginning to swell."

"I… I thought they just hurt because they were cut. I never even looked at them."

Reid was concerned. "Let me see your wrist." Reaching out and taking her hand and arm, turning them over for his inspection. As he studied her, JJ studied him, and saw something cloud his expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. We should rinse these in some water, and bandage them again."

"Spence, what do you see? I'm a profiler, remember? I know you see something." Apprehension in her tone.

Called out on it, there was nothing he could do but tell her.

"There's a little streak going up from your hand to your forearm, just…here." Turning her wrist. "Do you see it?"

She nodded. "What does it mean?"

"It means that your cuts are infected, and the infection is spreading."

She was alarmed now. "Is it dangerous?"

He tried to assure, despite being alarmed himself. "It will be okay once we get out of here, and get you on some antibiotics."

She took it in, spent a moment galvanizing herself, and then rose with determination.

"Then let's get out of here."


	8. Chapter 8

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 8**_

Reid insisted upon re-dressing her wounds before JJ went to retrieve his 'crutch'.

"The fact that they're already infected doesn't mean they can't get worse."

He'd been about to tear his own sleeve for the purpose, but JJ wouldn't hear of it.

"I've already let you twist my arm about wearing your jacket, Spence. I'm not going to leave you to freeze here."

JJ tried to rip away her remaining sleeve, but couldn't quite do it with her left hand, so he had to do it for her. Seeing her shiver as the sleeve came loose, Reid quickly held the jacket up, and watched her struggle to get her hands into it.

"Pain?"

"They're throbbing a little bit, but they're mostly stiff, especially the right one, the one with the streak."

"The stiffness is from the swelling. Gravity isn't going to help that any." Reid was about to start shredding the blouse material into bandages, when a thought halted him. "You said the water was running, right?"

"Right. Why?"

"Because we should probably rinse you out well before we bandage you up again. It should help with the infection, and we're a little short on supplies, so….."

JJ dreaded the thought of having to traverse the rubble back to the water fountain with her old, loosely hanging bandages, but she knew he was right. And they had no guarantee that they would be able to reach real medical care any time soon.

"All right, you're right. It's just…."

"I know. But my arms are longer than yours are, and my jacket sleeves are hanging. Use them as padding."

JJ looked down to where his sleeves fell beyond her thighs.

"I would have figured that out. Eventually."

He smiled. "I don't think either of us is at our best, which is why it's a good thing we're here to try this together. Speaking of which….. I don't think I can get up by myself. Can you help me?"

JJ bent from the waist so that he could push off from her shoulder. There followed a lot of grunting and some hopping on his good leg, and then he was up. Still on one foot, and still needing her for balance, but he was up.

JJ stood upright and looked him over. His complexion wasn't pale, and he didn't seem about to pass out. But she'd caught the tail end of a grimace.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel fine."

JJ rolled her eyes at her best friend. "Is this the same kind of 'fine' that Hotch called you out on when you faked that doctor's note?"

He was quick to deny it. "I didn't fake anything. I just gave …"

"A second opinion, yes, I remember. Listen, Spence, we're in trouble here, and we both know it. I have to know my partner's status for real. Please don't be trying to hide anything for my sake. I don't need protection. I need truth."

He was chagrined, even if he'd meant well by it. No matter her status as an agent, and no matter her ability to take care of herself, he'd always felt protective of her. Maybe _because_ she radiated that sense of being able to take care of herself.

_No one can go it alone. But she tries to make everyone believe that she can, and most of them do believe her. But not me. She's always been transparent to me. She just doesn't anyone, including me, to invade her privacy._

Over their years together, he'd mastered the art of supporting her while not intruding. The few times she'd realized, she'd called him out on it. But he'd also known she was grateful. Such was the nature of their relationship, that they loved one another enough to let the other be, while praying and hoping…and sometimes maneuvering…for the best. And almost all of the time, it had gone unstated.

Reid conceded to JJ's logic. If they were each going to get out of this alive, they had to be realistic about their status.

"Okay. Truth? I have pain, but it's manageable, which makes me pretty sure that nothing is broken. But I'm a little concerned that my leg is still bleeding."

"Why?" Her antennae fully extended, knowing that he was probably still minimizing, even while intending not to.

_Because he's Spence, and he never wants to be a burden, so that's what he does. _

If Reid was 'a little concerned', JJ had just become greatly so.

He saw it come over her, and tried to assure her, but he had just promised to be honest.

"I think it means the vessel that's bleeding is pretty deep, which means it's also probably pretty large. Anything on the surface should have stopped bleeding by now, especially with the tourniquet."

JJ took a moment to absorb his words, and to process what they might mean about the journey they were about to undertake.

"Spence, maybe you shouldn't try to bear weight on it. Wouldn't that just exacerbate the bleeding?"

Envisioning him passing out, and bleeding to death among the rubble of the building.

"I think, if we can rig a crutch, I might be able to make it out without bearing weight." _Too much._

"Spence…"

"JJ, please. I don't want to stay here while you're dealing with who knows what."

She heard the text. And the subtext.

_He's afraid of bleeding out, alone. God help me, Spence, that's not going to happen. _

"Okay, you're right. Whatever we do, we do together." Looking around again. "All right, where's that thing…oh, there."

Heading off in that direction. Reid called after her.

"Remember to use the sleeves! Don't handle anything directly if you can help it!"

He watched as she slipped and slid over the rubble, but was pleased to see that she was trying to protect her hands. They were both relieved when she reached the desired object, then frustrated again when she had trouble pulling it loose. Reid's engineer eyes spotted the reason.

"The file cabinet…the gray one….can you push it over?"

JJ looked up from her effort, and followed his gaze to the offending piece of furniture. She made her way over to it, and started pushing….pushing….repositioning, pushing harder…..

_I'm running out of steam and we haven't even started trying to get out of here. Please, God….make this thing…_

"Mmmph!" And the cabinet rolled. Thankful, JJ went back to the post, easily freeing it this time, and carrying it back over to Reid.

"Ta-da!"

He smiled, looking her over at the same time. "Are you okay?"

She panted. "I feel like I just climbed Everest, but yes, I'm fine. Let's see if this thing fits."

Holding a double-pronged, four-foot length of what looked like steel, runged at various levels, broken off raggedly at both ends.

He'd been leaning on the top of a pile of rubble, and now kept one hand on it for balance as he lifted his free arm. The post didn't quite reach all the way, but that was probably good, since there would be no padding between it and his body. But at least the rungs gave him a place for a handhold. Reid tested it out on the small space they'd cleared for last night, as JJ watched with concern.

"You can't really lean your body weight on it, Spence. It will have to be in your arm."

"I know. But…." Slipping slightly, the uneven end of it having trouble finding purchase on the ground. "Whoa…okay…okay….it's coming back. It's all muscle memory." Moving in a small circle on the unobstructed floor. "See? I guess it turns out it was a good thing I spent six months on crutches, way back when."

JJ wasn't convinced. "I wish we could find something for the bottom of it. I can get this debris out of your way…well, I hope I can….but I can't make your crutch not try to kill you."

He tried to make light of it. "We'll be going pretty slowly, so I don't think there's much chance of me falling. And, if you think about it, at least the debris will break my fall."

"Very funny. But probably also correct." JJ looked around one more time before they set out. "I think we should take this." Putting her makeshift water pail back around her neck. "And this." Reaching for the Styrofoam cup, and placing it inside the pail. "Okay, I think we're set to go." Looking to her partner. "Ready?"

"As ever. Let's get out of here."

* * *

Reid had been right, it was slow going. There were sections of the debris that were lighter, and easier for her to push out of his way, others where the obstacles were so immovable that they had to retrace their steps and find a different path, still others where he was able to find some purchase with his makeshift crutch, and climb over it himself.

And then there was the section where his purchase was lost, and the crutch gave way, and he slid forward, falling on both knees, and jarring both of his thighs in the process.

"Spence!" JJ shouted, and reached back for him.

"I'm…." Pushing off, with effort. "I'm okay. It just slid, that's all."

"But you fell on your leg!" Clambering back toward him. "Let me see."

She inspected his injured leg visually, then patted gently at the material, trying not to hurt him, but wanting to feel if the bloodstain had acquired new moisture, breathing a sigh of relief when the material simply felt stiffened by dried blood, but not wet.

"I think it's okay, but how does it feel?"

It felt terrible, but there was no point in telling her that. They still had to get out of the building.

"It's fine. I probably just can't try that move again."

That wasn't enough for JJ, who had come up with an idea.

"I got this trash pail from the office we'd been in…or some office, anyway. It's just up ahead, to the left of the fountain. I'll bet I can find something to wrap around your crutch to make it more functional. Maybe some material, or even just tape or something."

It wasn't the first time she'd thought of something he hadn't, in their long history together. And it was just the sort of common sense thing she could be better at conjuring than he was. But it still troubled him that he hadn't thought of it at all, and made him wonder if the effects of his concussion might ultimately prove to be costly.

"Okay, that sounds good. Just….let's not spend too much time on it. We still have to get to the water, and change your bandages."

_And then we need to get out of here._

JJ took Reid's assent as an order, and began scrambling in the direction of the office. By unspoken agreement, he moved in the direction of the water fountain, his progress extremely slowed by the need to exercise caution. He made it to within five feet of the fountain, but was prevented from getting all the way there by a large, unstable pile of rubble. Reid laid his makeshift crutch aside and, balancing as best he could on one leg, used his long arms to reach into the pile, and began pulling out as many small objects and pieces of debris as he could. By the time he heard JJ coming toward him again, he was drenched in sweat, and exhausted from his effort.

"Spence!" Grunting as she made her way over the pile. "I found…." Landing next to him, with a triumphant look on her face. "I found something. Some things, actually. Look!"

She tilted the pail that hung around her neck. Inside it, he saw a roll of masking tape, a man's necktie, and…

"A charging cable?"

"For your phone! I found it in a desk drawer. I went deeper into the office than I did yesterday, and the far end didn't have as much damage. I tried a couple of phones, but there was nothing. I even found a computer without a broken monitor, but it was completely dead. So I rooted around in some desk drawers, and this is what I found. Oh, and this…"

Reaching into her pocket, and pulling out a fistful of wrapped lifesavers.

"Wintergreen, your favorite."

He laughed at the sheer preposterousness of it.

"At least we'll get some sugar in us."

"Anyway, yes, a charger! So, when we get outside, we can charge your phone in the car!"

"Sounds like a plan. But let's get you taken care of first." Nodding his head in the direction of the fountain. "I've made some headway, but I couldn't lift some of these things in the way without falling on my face."

"Let me do it."

"With your sleeves….which you obviously didn't use to pick up a charging cable or lifesavers."

JJ turned from where she was already bent over the pile of debris. "Guilty. But I thought it was worth it. The sooner we get out of here and call for help, the sooner I'll be on antibiotics."

She had a point. Reid hopped around to position himself to sit on a tall pile of rubble, and pulled the necktie and masking tape out of the pail. He used the tie to even out the bottom of his crutch, encasing it in masking tape to both hold it in place and give him a rougher surface for traction. Then he used the remaining tape to blunt the top edge of the crutch, which had been digging into his skin, despite its short length. By the time he was done, JJ had nearly cleared a path to the fountain.

Reid followed her toward the running water, both of them needing to be careful of their footing, because the constant flow had dampened the dust on the ground, rendering it slippery. Once she reached it, JJ bent and drank from it, taking in long, satisfying draughts. Then she exchanged places with Reid, and held him steady as he bent to do the same.

"Ahhh. That was good."

She smiled. "I know something that will be even better."

It was hard for either of them to believe that they'd been freezing last night, because they were both currently suffering from the heat of the day, heightened by the results of their strenuous efforts. So, when JJ filled the pail with cool water, and poured it over the head and neck of her best friend, he sighed in relief. She sighed with him, once she'd done the same to herself.

"You definitely know how to make me happy, JJ."

She laughed. "Is that why you'll miss me?"

He'd forgotten.

_That's what happens when you're not sure you're guaranteed a tomorrow, I guess._

He recovered quickly enough to answer her.

"That, and pretty much everything else. Or just….everything."

She smiled at him. "Me too."

In another circumstance, they might have extended the exchange, taken it to its natural conclusion. In another circumstance, they might have revisited what had happened between them last night, and why, and what it meant, and how it might change their future.

But it wasn't another circumstance, and they were still very much in a life-or-death situation. While there was still the possibility of life, they had to pursue it. Had there been only the certainty of death, they might have chosen differently.

"Okay, so, let's get your wounds clean. I think, if you let the bandages soak for a minute, it might be easier to remove them. And the running water will help with the infection."

Although the adrenalin rush of accomplishing her tasks had allowed JJ to keep moving, she'd felt every tug of the material on the dried scabs on her hands, and she dreaded the thought of removing the bandages right now. But she also dreaded the effects of not removing them, so she complied. At Reid's direction, she filled the pail with water, and then lowered her hands into the liquid. The cold temperature at least helped to numb some of the pain.

Reid studied her features closely, knowing she would try to put on a brave face, but needing to have a realistic sense of her status. If she was in substantial pain, he would find a way to clear a path for them himself.

_Who are you kidding, genius? Even if she would let you, you know you can't do this without her. She's strong, you've always known that. You've always told that to every LEO who dismissed her as a lightweight female. Don't you start doing that to her now._

After a five minute soak, Reid asked JJ to give him her hands. The left, less involved, easily released its makeshift bandage, and showed him a wound that looked clean, and superficial.

"Pretty good. I think we can just cover it up again."

Then he moved to her right hand, the dominant one that had done most of the work, and sustained most of the injury. She flinched a bit as he tugged at the bandage, bit her lip when he had to tug a bit harder.

"Sorry. It's a little…..there, it's off."

JJ looked first at her hand, and then raised her concerned gaze to her best friend. "It's pussy. And it's all red, and there's the streak….."

Sounding more anxious with each word.

Reid tried to assure her, though he didn't feel it himself.

"Pus means your white cells are working. It's not a terrible thing."

_Also not a good thing, because it means the white cells have something to be working on, but at least they're working._

"And the streak?"

"I don't think it's much longer than last night, so the infection hasn't spread much."

But it was at least a little bit longer, and the infection had definitely spread, even if not 'much'.

Knowing there wasn't much else they could do, and wanting to get her mind focused elsewhere, Reid began to elaborate their plan as he worked on redressing her wounds.

"So, if this is the corridor we came in on, the door we entered through has to be out there to our left. We don't know if this is the third or fourth office that we cleared, but even if it was the fourth, I thinking they were each about thirty feet across, so we have only thirty or forty yards to cover."

He was pleased to see his distraction working when she recalculated the distance.

"Either 90 feet or 120 feet, but there was also a foyer that was about fifteen feet deep. And there were more offices beyond the last one we'd cleared. What if we're deeper into the building than we realize?!"

The pitch of her voice raising at the end, signaling her anxiety. It was unlike JJ to be so overtly worried, and it drew out the protectiveness in her best friend. Reid finished his ministrations, and reached an arm around her.

"If we're deeper into the building, it will take us longer to get out, that's all. But we'll still get out, and now that you've found a charger, we'll be able to call for help."

Wanting to remind her of what she'd contributed to the process.

She squeezed an arm around his middle. "I know. Sorry. I just…"

He lifted her chin, claiming her eyes.

"You're just my best friend, who breathed life back into me yesterday, and found food and water for both of us. And you're the mother to my godsons, who are waiting for you, back home."

She teared up at his declaration of support. "They're waiting for both of us. And thank you."

They embraced, sharing strength, and support, and love, and holding on longer than was necessary to convey those things. When they released, JJ brushed away a tear.

"Let's get out of this place, shall we?"

He grinned. "We shall."

He waved her ahead of him. Of necessity, since he was still on his crutch, and she was still the more able-bodied of the two of them.

But they hadn't gotten far, before he whispered a shout in her direction.

"JJ! Stop!"

She did, immediately. Which was when she heard it, too. A human voice, male, deep. Not shouting, not calling for them, but intermittently loud, and definitely angry in tone. They had difficulty making out the words, but it was clear that the owner of the voice was not happy.

The fact of the third human presence created a dilemma for the two profilers. Should they call out, and ask for help?

Or was the angry tone of their visitor an indication that he was a foe, and not a friend?


	9. Chapter 9

_**A.N. Just a short chapter to move us along. Apologies for the longer-than-usual delay. But yes, I had a nice vacation.**_

* * *

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 9**_

The two profilers made silent eye contact. Each knew they couldn't continue their trek without making a great deal of noise, which would alert the other person to their presence. What they didn't know was whether or not that would be a good thing.

JJ had only moved a few steps forward. It might be possible for her to retrace her steps back to Reid without displacing any more debris. Not quite certain, she looked the question to her partner, who nodded his assent. Each of them held their breaths as she traversed the few feet of rubble, and landed next to Reid at the fountain. They could whisper now.

"Do you think he heard us?"

The tone of JJ's voice told Reid she had come down firmly on the side of 'foe', and he was inclined to agree with her.

"We were stopped at the fountain for a while before you started out. He might have heard a little debris moving, but he could have dismissed it as just some settling. I doubt he heard us speaking. We've been keeping it pretty low."

JJ agreed. "Not to mention that he would probably not be shouting, if he knew we were here. He'd want to catch us unaware."

Reid wasn't so sure about that. "I couldn't make out what he was saying. It's possible he was shouting _at_ us."

"As in taunting, or threatening? Or as in calling out to see if we need help?"

Reid could only shake his head. "There's no way to know, until he gets closer. I think we're going to have to let him."

JJ tried to sound more confident than she was. "Okay. At least we have our weapons."

_But I can barely grasp mine, and Spence can't stand without his crutch._

JJ looked up at Reid, and knew he'd had exactly the same thoughts. She set her lips into a grim smile, mirroring the one he was giving her.

* * *

It had been four minutes, and all they'd heard were the intermittent sounds of one object hitting another, followed by a cascade of light debris. Whoever was in the building with them didn't seem to be making any effort to disguise his presence.

"Does that help us?" asked JJ.

Reid didn't think so. "Either he thinks he's alone, or he plans to be, once he's done."

His companion shivered at the thought. "Maybe we should hope we're wrong, this time. Maybe he's not disguising himself because he's here to help."

Reid looked down to where she was huddled beside him. "Seriously?"

JJ shrugged. "Just _hoping_. Not believing."

"I think he's getting closer. But I also think he's talking to himself, not to us. Do you hear how he gets softer, sometimes? There's no return voice, so I think he's definitely alone. But I don't think he's been shouting at us."

JJ was skeptical. "He had to have seen the SUV in the parking lot. He has to know we're here."

Reid acknowledged it. "But he probably thinks we're dead, or too injured to resist him."

"Well, he's got another think coming." _I hope._

Reid looked down at JJ's newly bandaged hands.

"Do you think you can grip your gun?"

"I'm going to have to, right? I'll make it happen. But what about you? You can't stand without support. How will you balance?"

He gave her a grim smile. "I do my best shooting from the floor, remember?"

She restrained a snort. "How could I forget? I really thought we'd lost both of you that day."

"Hmph. I thought I was supposed to the non-believer."

He grinned when she gave him a sarcastic smile, then got down to planning.

"I'm not going to be able to see over the debris pile, so I won't have a shot until he's close. And, as much as I know you'll want to, I think we both realize you'll have trouble handling your weapon, which means we can't rely on a distance shot. I think we're going to have to let him get very near to us. Maybe even draw him in."

"I'm all ears. What are you thinking? Should we call out to him? Throw something?"

Reid spent a long moment contemplating the possibilities and risks. He hadn't felt lightheaded since he'd first stood erect, which was promising. But that didn't mean a substantial jarring of his leg wouldn't end up in a virtual volcanic eruption of blood. So there was still a significant element of risk, the degree of which, by his calculation, was unknowable. Which part he wasn't about to share.

"I think we should just let him approach us. That will give us the element of surprise. And, if he doesn't become aware of us, we'll still have other options …. you know, like making it to the parking lot and getting the hell out of here."

_Because even if we've concluded that he's alone in this godforsaken ruin of a building that doesn't mean he doesn't have friends outside. Which also means that maybe the parking lot isn't our best option, but…_

JJ had heard none of his inner ramblings, though she was most certainly aware they were taking place. She'd known him too long, and too well, not to realize he'd waited just a beat too long to respond to her. But she played along.

"Sounds good to me. I'll handle the pedals, and you can steer." Reminding him of the state each of them was in.

"I know. But we can try."

"We have to."

They'd been whispering, taking breaks to listen for the approach of the interloper. A crash here, a bang there, and, with increasing clarity, a punctuating four letter word. The man approaching them was angry, maybe frustrated. But was he murderous?

"He's getting closer. He can't be more than a few yards, now," whispered JJ.

Reid simply nodded, indicating that the time for speaking had come to an end. He cupped one ear to indicate that they should continue to listen for their presumed enemy. Then he became perfectly still, entirely focused on his sense of hearing.

His acoustic nerve picked up a hard grunt, followed by a loud profanity. Reid listened even more intently, trying to discern if the interloper was injured, or merely annoyed. The next sound was of an object scraping against the floor.

_It sounds heavy, like furniture, maybe a desk. _

Reid hadn't seen any such objects between the fountain and the office, but he also hadn't traversed the distance himself. He decided it was worth breaking the silence, and leaned close to JJ, his lips only a few centimeters from her ears. She felt his breath as he whispered to her, and it made her shiver.

"Was there furniture in the way? I think I heard him moving something, which might mean he's gone into the office."

JJ shook herself back to the moment, wishing she had her partner's eidetic memory as she tried to resurrect what she'd seen on her several trips back and forth from the area.

"I don't think so. At least, I don't remember anything. But I was focused on finding something to help us, not on my surroundings."

Even speaking so softly, she sounded frustrated with herself at being unable to help. Reid put an arm around her and squeezed.

"That's what's gotten us this far. We would have been lost, if not for what you did. I _absolutely_ would have been lost."

Remembering all of the times he'd felt the same way, over the past decade and a half. Not the least of which had happened during the time of his imprisonment. Over the few years intervening, he'd several times tried to tell her about how she'd saved him, and how she'd made him care about being saved, but even his extensive vocabulary had never quite provided him with the right words. Nor would it this time. This time, a hand on her shoulder would have to suffice.

JJ felt his support, and returned it with her eyes.

"And I would have been lost without you."

Her words laden with meaning that went far deeper than their situation would allow her to ponder. That would be for a different time, she thought, even while realizing that their time together was rapidly running out.

_Maybe more rapidly than we think._

So she forced her mind back into the moment, and the potentially dire situation in front of them.

"Should I look? I can cover my head with something. If he sees movement, maybe he'll think it's just debris shifting."

The last thing Reid wanted was for her to put herself in specific danger, but they both knew his balance was too precarious for him to try it. So, however reluctantly, he agreed. He found a piece of insulation and put it over her head, masking the giveaway blonde hair.

"Stay low. Only rise up as far as you need to."

JJ tried not to roll her eyes. "I never would have thought of that."

"Sorry. Habit."

He'd been looking out for her as long as he could remember, even well before she'd come to realize it.

She relented. "Good habit. Don't break it."

With that, she took a resolute breath, and inched upward. Reid kept one hand on JJ and one on his weapon. When her sight line broke the surface of the rubble, she stopped, her head immobile, her eyes scanning the debris-laden path between them and the office. There was no sign of furniture in the hallway, and no sign of their new arrival.

JJ came back down.

"He's not there, and I don't see anything heavy between us, apart from those beams. If he'd moved one of them, we'd have heard something fall."

Reid agreed. "So he must be in the office. Which means we have a chance to try for the exit."

The slowed tempo of his speech told her he wasn't quite certain of the plan.

"You don't think we should go?"

"No, I do think we should go. I'm just trying to calculate the odds of us getting there without alerting him. It's not going to be easy."

JJ shot her best friend a look. "Easy? Since when have either of us found the easy way to do anything?"

He gave her his lopsided smile. "You've got a point. But we haven't always made the best decisions."

"Our worst decision ever was to separate. We're not going to do that again. But I think we need to try getting out, Spence. As you pointed out, neither of us is in the best position for a gun battle. If we can get to the SUV, maybe we can avoid it."

Reid considered it further. "I guess you're right. If we have to, we'll fight him. But if he wants to come after us, he'll have to contend with the rubble too. Unless he's got a weapon, we might be okay. And, if he does….well, we'll just have to beat him."

"So, we go for it?"

"We go for it."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 10**_

Considering the state of Reid's mobility, and the condition of the ground they would need to traverse, their options for moving either swiftly or quietly were virtually nil. Logic demanded that they move swiftly regardless, because their new arrival was unlikely to spend much time in the office. He would either see them or hear them. Unless…

Using his crutch as a pointer, Reid drew JJ's attention to a particularly tall mound of debris about fifteen feet away.

"If we can get past that, we'll be hidden. He won't see us, and it will give us some time to move more quietly toward the exit." When she seemed to agree, he added, "But we'll need to be quick now."

Which would be problematic. There was simply too much rubble in front of them, and JJ would have difficulty clearing a path for him to hobble through it, especially with her newly rebandaged, infected hands.

Reid watched the worry crease her brow, and imagined his own face looked much the same. But they hadn't come this far…..not in the remnants of this building, not in their careers, and not in their lives….to have it all come apart on them now. He made a decision.

"I can climb. I tested my leg yesterday, remember? I can bear weight on it."

"But…."

"I know. I'll try not to jar it too much, and I'll keep my weight on my right leg as much as I can. But we have to chance it. If we don't…."

If they didn't, it wouldn't matter much at all, because it wouldn't be blood loss from his leg that did him in.

When JJ still didn't look convinced, he added, "You can tighten the tourniquet, and it's only about fifteen feet. It will be okay, JJ."

She didn't verbalize her assent, but he knew she'd conceded when she leaned across him and start tugging at the belt around his thigh. He felt it get tighter, and tighter, and…

"Uh….if you make it any tighter, I won't be able to move my leg at all, because all of the circulation will be cut off."

He felt her pull It back a notch. "Better?"

"Great. Thanks."

She stood back up and demanded his eyes.

"What?"

"For the life of me, Spencer Reid, if you start bleeding…."

He let go of his crutch and used both hands to cup her cheeks, accomplishing two goals at once. He'd successfully tested his leg for weight-bearing, and he'd gotten her full attention.

"For the lives of both of us, I need to do this, and you need to let me. I promise I'm not trying to be a martyr. I'm just being practical."

JJ's eyes filled, even as she parried him.

"Did you forget you're talking to the queen of 'practical'?"

Who was well aware that 'practical' and 'martyr' were not mutually exclusive states of being.

"Okay, then." Letting go of her, and reaching for his crutch once again. He would carry it with him, if he could, even if he would have to eschew leaning on it for the moment. He made a sweep of his free arm.

"Shall we?"

* * *

It had been far more strenuous than he'd expected, but they'd made it behind the largest pile of debris, where they were hidden from their new arrival.

JJ took advantage of the fact that the sound of their voices might be obstructed as well.

"Are you okay? Because you don't look it."

He realized that his physiology was giving him away to her, so there was no point in not being truthful. He was panting, and red in the face, which was grimaced with pain.

"It turns out that it was one thing to stand on it, and another thing to climb with it. I had to put all of my weight on it at once, and it didn't like that."

JJ frowned. "'Didn't like that', as in it's more painful than you thought, or 'didn't like that' as in it started bleeding again?" Fear imbuing even her whispered words.

"I'm not bleeding, and it wasn't unstable. It just …it hurts."

Feeling foolish complaining about it, in light of her own injuries. But he wasn't technically complaining, was he? He was simply answering a question truthfully. Which was what he now demanded of her.

"How are your hands?"

Her response was uninformative, but her tone indicated her stress.

"What does it matter? We still have to get out of here."

He waited a beat before responding. "Granted. I'm just asking."

She conceded. "Sorry. My hands hurt, but I can't see beneath the bandages, and I don't think I should try."

"No, you're right, of course. Leave the bandages in place. We need to get out regardless, so I guess it doesn't really matter if we know."

Making a point. Which she parried.

"Except one of us is at risk of collapsing, and I think we should both be aware if that's a real possibility."

Reid put up both hands in surrender. It wasn't the first time his best friend had been annoyed with him, and now he didn't know whether he should pray that it would be the last. Because 'last' could mean they'd gotten out of this, and gone their separate ways….or it could mean something else entirely.

"I promise to tell you if I feel lightheaded, all right?"

_But I think you'll pretty much figure it out, right after I pass out._

Reid knew better than JJ that he was unlikely to get much physiologic warning, but there was no point in worrying her further. She was right, they needed to get out, whatever it took.

They both looked around to examine their surroundings. Now that they were behind the large pile of debris, they were out of sight from the owner of the voice they'd heard, but he was also out of sight of them. They would have to rely on their ears to tell them if he'd headed in their direction once again.

They sat on a small pile of rubble, comprised mostly of building materials and insulation. Reid noticed a few ceiling tiles as well, and looked up to see exposed wiring and piping above them, some disrupted, and hanging down. There were some smaller piles ahead of them, in what they both hoped was the direction of the door, and from their seated positions, they couldn't see past the debris.

"Help me up," Reid whispered to JJ, "I want to see if there's daylight out there."

"Let me," insisted JJ. So he waited while she raised herself, as slowly as possible, so as to remain hidden from the interloper. As she searched, he saw the look of frustration on her face, and correctly assumed she'd been stymied.

He whispered up to her. "I'm taller. Help me….umph." Impatiently pushing himself up with his crutch, without waiting for her assistance.

"Spence…."

He hushed her with a wave of his hand, and pushed off on the toe of his good leg, trying to gain a good vantage point. He couldn't quite see to the door, but there was a definite brightness ahead of them.

He did his best to lower himself back down as silently as possible, as JJ grabbed his crutch to avoid it crashing to the ground.

"Well?"

"Daylight. I think. It's bright, anyway, and since there's no electricity, it must be natural light. I think it's only about sixty feet away."

"Only? Look how long it's taken us to go, what, twenty-five feet?"

"But we stopped to make my crutch, and get water, and wrap your hands, and…."

"I know. It's just…. you know what, just ignore me. I'm tired, I'm hungry and I just want to get the hell out of here."

He knew exactly how she felt. Exactly.

"Then let's do it, shall we?" Extending a gentlemanly hand in her direction.

She gave him a grim smile. "We shall." Taking his hand, and pulling him up by it.

* * *

Between their attempts to minimize the noise, numerous pauses to listen for their new arrival, and the simple difficulty of climbing over unstable ground, it took them nearly two hours to move to the space where Reid had seen the light. By the time they landed there, both could see the remainder of the distance.

"It's the door! I can see the door!"

Reid smiled at his friend's enthusiasm. "Did you ever think you'd be so excited about something like that?"

"If I call if 'freedom', does it sound better?"

"Infinitely." He landed heavily on his bottom, needing a break from the strenuous travel, and the pain in his leg.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I just need to catch my breath. I'll be ready in a minute."

JJ took the opportunity to rest as well, and both of them extended their listening antennae into the quiet. Which wasn't as quiet as it had been the last time they'd listened.

"He's coming this way!" JJ whispered the exclamation.

Reid agreed with her. "But he's not talking any more. Either he's too intent on getting through the mess, or he's realized we're here."

"So, what does it mean that he's not yelling at us? Not threatening us? He can't believe we can't hear him, can he?"

"Well, if we can hear him, he must have heard us. He's got to know we're here. Unless…."

"Unless what?"

"You remember how we wondered if they'd turned on one another? He may realize someone is here, but he may not realize it's us."

JJ wasn't so sure that was a good thing. "Are you saying that he's chasing after someone he tried to kill, by planting the explosives? Someone he still wants to kill?"

"Maybe. Or maybe he does realize it's us. He would have seen the SUV in the parking lot."

JJ wasn't sure what to make of it. "So…we're still thinking 'foe', right? Whether he realizes who we are or not, he's still not a 'friendly', right? I mean, if he tried to kill someone else, he's not exactly going to be thrilled to see the FBI."

Reid quickly ran the permutations, and reached a conclusion. "Right."

"Then let's go!"

Suppressing a groan, Reid pushed off with his crutch, leaning heavily on JJ as well. Then, as he'd done before, he pushed the crutch ahead of him and climbed over the rubble, doing his best to make sure that his right leg bore the brunt of his weight. JJ made it more of a scramble, her thin form able to stay above the bulk of the debris, wincing each time she had to pull a load of brick, or sheet rock, or ceiling tile, out of her way. With the added incentive of being actively followed, they made it to the door in fifteen minutes. There, they found the glass completely blown out, giving them egress, despite the fact of the door frame having been distorted beyond utility.

"Ah…." breathed JJ, "…freedom."

Reid shared her sense of relief about being out of the structure that had threatened to kill each of them. But then his eyes scanned the horizon, and then he turned, and scanned the remaining 180 degrees.

"JJ….the SUV is gone!"


	11. Chapter 11

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 11**_

For a moment, they each wondered if their head injuries had caused them to become disoriented inside the building. Maybe they'd inadvertently exited into another parking lot, and could still circle around to find their car where they'd let it. But Reid was nearly certain that there had been nothing on the other side of the structure. He recalled an image of it backing upon a wooded area, and hadn't sensed that there would be enough depth behind it to accommodate another lot.

"I don't understand," said JJ. "Did he move it, and then come back for us? But I don't see another car. How did he get here? Why?"

Reid's brain had been sorting through the possibilities at as quick a speed as it could muster, considering its recent rattling inside his skull.

"It's possible he moved both cars, and then came back, but I don't think it's likely. I think we have to assume he's not alone. He's got to have at least one accomplice, and maybe two."

No longer even entertaining the possibility of their intruder having other than evil intentions.

"Two of them? Or even three? Spence, we have to get of here! I didn't mind our chances against one, but I don't think we're in any condition to take on more."

He nodded grimly. "Agreed. The question is, which way? The road will be quicker and more direct, but…"

"But we'd be out in the open, and easy to pick off. Could we stay behind the buildings?"

The one they'd been in was at the far end of the road in the small industrial park.

"It would give us some cover, but it might also be obvious. Once they realize we're not in the building anymore, they'll be on the lookout."

JJ was insistent. "The only other alternative is the woods, and even if I was kidding back in the day, they're not my favorite place to be when I'm being stalked by an unsub."

_Try being in them after being marched through them by an unsub, _thought Reid. More than a decade later, and it could still make him flash back.

"Okay, behind the buildings it is."

It would still require traversing a patch of wooded area between each of the widely-spaced structures, but they would be able to hug the backs of the buildings for much of their trek. Using his crutch once again, Reid was able to move fairly quickly on the level ground of the parking lot. He was slowed a little bit by the softer ground of the lawn beside the building, and he came to a complete stop when his ears picked up a new sound.

"JJ!" Calling ahead to her, in a loud whisper.

She stopped, and turned. Without the background noise of her own motion, she could hear it, too.

"A car!"

When she stood in place, and he realized that she intended to wait for him, Reid waved her on.

"Run! Get into the woods!"

"I'm not…."

He hobbled as fast as he could in her direction.

"It's not going to help anything if they get both of us. Please, go!"

He knew he was right, and that she would see the logic of it. But when he realized that she still hadn't moved, he brought his gaze upward to meet hers, and realized she'd been waiting for him to do so. Their eyes locked as they spent an all-too-brief moment communicating fear, and hope, and all of the things they might never have a chance to say to one another, all of the things they'd so long felt, but not been free to express. All of everything. And then JJ turned, and ran into the woods.

* * *

It had probably been no more than ten minutes, but it felt like a lifetime.

JJ had found cover behind some brush growing at the base of a tree, only about twenty feet in from the tree line. It had been effective in hiding her, but it had also been effective in obstructing her sight of the patch of lawn where she'd left Reid. As she'd run from him, she'd looked over her shoulder long enough to see Reid change direction, and realized he was trying to divert them from her.

She'd heard the vehicle pull up, then heard the engine idling for a while before she heard it turn off. It had been almost a full minute before she'd heard a door slam…

_No, wait! It was two doors slamming! Spence was right, there are two more of them, at least. Unless…_

Unless the vehicle they'd heard had actually held their colleagues, coming in search of their two missing members.

_But they would have called EMS by now, wouldn't they? Unless they're just really slow responding out here._

Still, she had to know. She hadn't heard voices, which could be either a good or a bad sign. And she hadn't heard gunshots, which was definitely a good sign.

_I think._

Cautiously, she stepped out from behind her bush and scanned the distance between herself and the edge of the lawn, slowly turning 360 degrees, until she'd taken in the entire landscape. No sign of the intruders.

_And no sign of Spence._

But she could see the parking lot, and noted that the new arrivals had come in a silver SUV. At least she'd answered the question about whether the vehicle had been carrying their friends. It had not.

She couldn't be sure how long a reprieve she would have. It would be slow going for those inside the demolished building, but if they didn't feel the need for silence, they could easily determine that their targets had escaped. That might take only a matter of minutes.

_And that's exactly what we are, now. Targets._

She had two choices. She could take advantage of the predators' temporary diversion, and make a run for the main road, bringing back help, or she could look for Reid. Logic told her to run. But something else kept her feet steadfastly in place.

JJ had long taken pride in her ability to be rational, to take a step back from a crisis, and evaluate it without emotion. That ability had abandoned her only a few times….when Henry had been endangered, and Will, when she'd flashed back on her captivity and torture, when she'd been forced to relive her sister's suicide….and now, when another of the people she loved most in the world was in danger.

This time, as in those others, her heart won dominance over her mind, and would not permit her to leave Reid behind.

He had to be somewhere nearby, and she was as certain as she could be that he'd not met up with the enemy.

_But that doesn't mean he isn't in trouble. He could have fallen, or his leg…._

His leg could have opened up, and bled him out. The thought put her feet under her, and got her moving. She sidled through the glade, moving toward where he might have entered the small forest if he had kept on his trajectory.

* * *

Reid tried not to look at the fabric of his trousers, but his eyes simply would not stay away. He'd kept up using the crutch until the sound of the vehicle had been too close. Then, he'd made a mad dash, running full out on both legs, his course made longer by his attempt to deflect from JJ's path.

He'd felt it before he'd seen it, the renewed sensation of wetness over his thigh, this time running down his leg. As soon as he'd reached the boulder, he'd circled behind, and then sunk down against it, taking the weight off his leg. He'd tightened the tourniquet once again, and then leaned back, panting.

Once he'd gotten his breathing to slow, Reid took stock of the situation. He ran through the same logic sequence JJ had, concluding that the people after them had gone inside the building, but might soon be out. And then he ran through the same illogical sequence she had, and knew, as well as he knew anything, that she'd not left without him.

_Which means we've got to find one another, or we'll never get out of here. _

So he pushed away from the boulder, and struggled to his feet, keeping his weight off his left leg this time. Part of him wished he had a way to hide the recurrence of bleeding from her, and then another part of him heard her chastising him about it.

_Don't know why that should be surprising. She's definitely a part of me, by now._

A truthful, honest part of him. He'd so long felt protective of her, even after she'd long since proven she didn't need protecting, that it was hard for him to let go of it. It had become part of his nature. But the part of him that was inhabited by JJ reminded him that people who care about one another as they do are honest. They don't hide things. Maybe from the rest of the world, but not from each other.

_Okay, okay! I won't try to hide it. But that doesn't mean I have to bring it up, does it?_

He'd been holding his internal conversation as he made his way through the woods. He thought it best to go deeper before moving in what he presumed was her direction, lest his movement draw attention. He was careful to follow a path that allowed him intermittent glimpses of the sky, and the direction of the sunlight….which he noticed was changing rapidly in angle.

_It must have taken us longer than we thought to get out of there. Or maybe I was sitting longer…._

Trying to remember if maybe he'd fallen asleep against the boulder, or passed out. The fact that he couldn't be sure concerned him.

_Maybe I had more of a head injury than I thought. Or maybe I lost oxygen, before JJ revived me. Or maybe I'm losing too much blood….._

Whatever it was, the angle of the sun bode ill for the idea of them getting to safety before darkness.

* * *

She'd taken a few steps in the sideways direction, then realized that her movement might make her more noticeable to the people inside the building.

_For all I know, they've found a window, and are watching me._

So she moved more deeply into the woods, and resumed her movement in the direction where she hoped she would find her best friend.

_You have to help me find him! Please, God, let me find him, and get us out of this! We can't have come this far, only to lose everything! Forget my career! I don't care about it anymore! I just care about finding Spence, and getting home to my family! _

Her demand had become a prayer, and her prayer had become a litany of images of that small circle of humans who were most important to her, of a thousand moments, some so mundane as to have been inconsequential, had they not been shared with those she loved. Her prayer morphed from one of petition to one of gratitude.

_And I just want this one more thing to be grateful for! Okay, finding Spence AND getting out of here. Two more things. You've got two more things in You, don't You?_

She was about to argue her case with the Almighty when her peripheral vision caught something. There had been any number of small animals moving about in the woods, but this was different. This was….waving at her!

JJ covered the ground between them with the speed of a long-time runner, arms widening as she saw him drop the crutch and open his own. She ran into his open arms, and held him close, feeling herself brought into a tight embrace.

On the scale of things, they'd been apart for a miniscule amount of time. But the circumstances that had driven them apart, the fact that their lives had been at stake, and whatever it was that lay between them, all of the things they'd not said to one another at the moment of their parting…..all of that, and more, went into their embrace. When JJ felt tears come to her eyes, she buried her face into his shoulder, and felt his palm on the back of her head, bringing her deeper.

They stood that way for a long moment, until Reid felt the tension leave her grasp. Then he pushed her back, and made sure he had her eyes.

"There will be time. We'll have time."

_We don't have to talk about it. Not now. Or, if you want it that way, not ever. _

JJ wiped at her cheeks as she sniffled. "Okay."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 12**_

Their moment of reunion was interrupted by the sound of shouting coming from the direction of the parking lot they'd been in so shortly before. Separating, they each moved forward, toward the tree line, trying to make out the words.

"Idiot! How could he have let them get away?!"

The words were followed by the sound of debris crashing to the pavement, and then a not-so-muffled curse. Make that a string of curses.

"I told you, I heard them moving toward this door!" Presumably pointing to the one exiting to the parking lot. "You're the morons who must have missed them on the road!"

"They weren't on the road! This place is a ghost town, we would have seen them!"

"All right, then where are they? They couldn't have disappeared into thin air!"

JJ and Reid held their breaths, nearly certain they'd be found out. They weren't deep enough into the forested area, and Reid was hardly in any shape to change that. If the intruders decided to search the woods, they would be in trouble.

The familiarity of the next voice caused JJ to shiver.

"They're probably walking behind the buildings, you idiot! They're trying to get some cover."

The voice belonged to Linda, the frightened near-victim who'd sent them on their fool's mission. The two profilers exchanged a look, but had no time to speak, before they heard the sound of running footsteps, and the voice of one of the males, calling back to his colleagues.

"Drive along the road! I'll flush them out to you!"

Which was the profilers' cue to head deeper into the woods. JJ stayed by Reid's side this time, ready to steady him should he stumble on one of the many small protruding boulders or prolific number of tree roots in their path. They stopped every twenty feet or so to listen for their pursuers, only stopping for good when they hadn't heard anything for more than two minutes. Then, JJ escorted Reid to sit against a large boulder surrounded by moss.

"Looks like it was made for us to sit here, doesn't it?" Trying to sound confident in the decision to stop and rest. When Reid didn't reply, but simply grunted into his position on the ground, she took stock of him. Despite her attempts to keep them upright, they'd both fallen three times during their escape. Now she wanted to see what those stumbles had cost them.

"Let me….oh, God. You're bleeding again!"

Reid gritted his teeth against the pain of his reopened wound. "I know. But I think I just need to retighten the belt. That worked last time."

"Last time? Spence, I thought we agreed…."

He put up a hand to stop the scolding. "We did. I noticed it when we were separated, and I took care of it. There wasn't exactly time to tell you, was there?"

It was so rare for him to be irritated with her that his words, and his tone, struck home. JJ was immediately apologetic.

"I'm sorry! Old habits, I guess."

He gave her a grim smile to express his forgiveness. He knew both of them were worried that their habits wouldn't have a chance to grow any older.

"Let's look at your hands, while we're at it."

Which exercise gave them both new reason for alarm. The wounds on both palms had reopened during their flight, and the bandage of the right palm was stained both red and yellow.

"Show me your arm," demanded Reid.

JJ shrugged out of his jacket and gave him her right hand. In the darkened interior of the forest, it was hard to make out, but it looked like the pink streak might have reached just beyond her wrist.

She lifted worried eyes to his. "It's worse, isn't it?"

He'd promised to be honest, and so he was. "It's spread, I think. But it's probably good that the pus is draining."

_It's just not so good that we both have open wounds in an environment that's anything but sterile. _

He'd promised to be honest, not thorough.

"Okay, then, we need a plan." JJ had never been one for self-pity. "Should we just lie low for a while, and wait for them to leave?"

He wasn't sure. "They have a lot at stake, if we make it to safety. I'm not sure they'll give up so easily."

"But if they can't find us, what choice will they have? They'll give up, and then they'll probably try to make a run for it, and get out of town before the team comes after them."

Which caused both of them to wonder about the status of their team. They had no doubt that Emily would have become concerned when they hadn't returned by yesterday afternoon, and that she would have mobilized resources as soon as possible. But their colleagues didn't know what they knew about Linda, and her accomplices, nor did they know about the building explosion, nor…..

It struck Reid suddenly. "There's no one left on the team who would remember that case, the one that made me realize Linda had to be part of it. Only Garcia. It was so unusual, I remember Gideon saying that. No one will even think about Linda being the unsub. They'll just see her as the victim."

"But they'll talk to her, right? That was the last location they have for us. They'll try to trace our steps."

Reid's eidetic memory offered information that wasn't promising.

"Neither of us thought to call in, because it was only a minor detour, and we didn't think it would take more than a few minutes. So they have no idea we were doing a favor, and there's definitely no reason Linda would tell them so."

"Are you sure?" JJ didn't trust her own memory about something so mundane. "Wouldn't we have let _someone_ know?"

"We probably would have, but just as we were driving away, we saw that woman getting out of her car, and she reminded us of Garcia, and…

"And we got to reminiscing. But are you sure we didn't call in?"

"Sorry to say, but yes, I'm sure."

"So they'll have no idea how to look for us."

"Not unless Linda and her friends were crazy enough not to hide our SUV. I'm sure there's a BOLO on it."

JJ heaved a great sigh. "So, we're going to have to save ourselves."

"Looks like it."

"Okay, then," wearily pushing up from the ground. "Let's go."

But she'd no sooner risen than she'd swayed on her feet, causing Reid to push to his knees, to catch her before she fell.

"Are you dizzy? Faint?" His concern evident in his tone.

"Uh….uh…no. No, I don't know what happened. Just lost my balance, I guess."

Reid was busy taking her pulse and feeling her forehead with the back of his hand.

"Losing your balance makes you stumble, it doesn't make you collapse. You don't feel warm, so I don't think you're running a fever. Your pulse is strong, but it's a little fast."

She tried to make light of it. "That's because I've been running for my life through the woods."

"Nice try. Listen, I don't know what it was, but I think we need to let you sit a little longer."

"But we'll lose the daylight!"

He'd taken that into account. "I think we'll be okay. Remember, we're just a couple of days past the full moon. And we're outside, so we'll have some ambient light that we didn't have inside the building. To tell you the truth, I think we might be better off trying to move at night, anyway. They're less likely to be looking for us."

JJ closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the boulder in a combination of concession and relief. However badly she wanted to be out of here, she didn't think she had the strength right now.

Reid was pleased to have prevailed, at the same time that he was disturbed by the ease of having accomplished it. It told him the depth of her exhaustion.

_Which is probably pretty much the same as my own. _

He wished he could afford to close his eyes, too. But the light wasn't quite gone yet, and it was possible that their pursuers hadn't yet abandoned the search.

_It's also possible that they won't abandon it at all, but it's unlikely. Still, if they do….we'll just have to make a stand._

Resigned to staying in place until dark, Reid tried to address his still-bleeding thigh. He loosened the belt, jostling JJ in the process. He apologized when she opened her eyes.

"Sorry, I ….."

"Let me do it, Spence. I'm not that weak. I want to make sure it's good and tight."

"I can…."

But she'd already pushed his hands away, and loosened the buckle enough to pull the length of the belt through. Tightening….tightening…

Reid hissed, biting his lip to keep from crying out. He managed a hoarse whisper.

"I think that's enough."

JJ looked her apology at him. "I just want to make sure."

"JJ, if it gets any tighter, I'll lose circulation altogether."

"Sorry. Do you want me to loosen it a little?"

He shook his head.

"No, you were right, that's good. It was just a little painful."

He caught the look of regret in her eyes, and knew just how to erase it.

"You pulled it tighter than I might have, but it was worth it. I don't think it would dare bleed now. It's too afraid of you."

His best friend's eyes went wide. "Are you making a joke? Now?"

"I'm just being honest. You told me to be honest."

She chuckled, in spite of everything. "It's a good thing I love you. And this is among the many reasons why."

"For which I am very grateful."

He lifted his arm, creating a space for her to rest her head against him. Seeing, she again slipped his jacket from her arms, and helped him spread it over both of them. Once they were settled, he encouraged her to rest.

"Close your eyes for a little bit. I'll wake you if I need to. Otherwise, we'll wait until moonrise."

He thought she'd followed his direction, until a few minutes later, when he heard her whisper.

"I'm worried about the boys."

Even whispered, her tone carried a depth of meaning that Reid knew they couldn't give in to, right now. She was worried that they would be upset at her not returning on time, frightened about what it might mean. And she was worried, on some level, that they might have to adjust to a life where she was only a memory.

He did his best to encourage her.

"We'll get out of here, JJ. You'll see them again, and they probably will never even know about this."

"But I called Will even before we left to bring Linda to her house. I told him the case had wrapped. He expected me home last night. He'll be worried, and Henry will read it, and…"

He tried to assure her, although he shared her concern.

"Will is very good at distracting the boys. They won't be scared."

JJ wasn't placated. "How do you know that?"

"Because he was so good with Henry when you were…..you know. When it happened before."

He'd just pushed a button, however inadvertently.

JJ sat up and looked at her best friend. "Aren't you the one who says we need to name things? That if we don't name them, and face them, we give them power over us?"

"I thought you needed to rest."

Uncomfortable with the subject matter, even if part of him was glad to have changed the direction of the conversation.

"Spence…."

"All right. When you were kidnapped."

"And tortured."

It was his turn for bug eyes.

"Are you serious?"

JJ squirmed a bit on the moss, until she found a comfortable spot. "I am. As ridiculous as it sounds at the moment, yes, I am."

"Why?"

_Why are we talking about this, now, of all times? Why are we talking about it at all? Why did it have to happen to you?_

It was as though she'd heard every one of his internal questions.

"I don't know. Maybe because we've never talked it out before. I mean, I wouldn't let you, when you wanted to. And now…."

"And now, we don't need to. Not now." Worried that she was beginning to give up on them getting out of this. "When we get home….'when', not 'if',…..we can talk it all out, if you still want to. I just don't want you to worry about the boys. Will can handle them."

"Listen, I know Will is capable of distracting the boys. But Henry won't fall for it for long, because he's got big ears and he's too smart to settle for anything but the truth. He was younger, back then. He…we…hadn't been through as much."

Reid wasn't about to argue with her, and he really didn't want to talk about it in the middle of the forest….but he would acknowledge the truth of what she'd just said.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you. For your kidnapping _and_ torture."

Making a point of using the words, which garnered a small, victorious smile from JJ.

"See? They lose their power, don't they? A wise friend told me about that, once."

"Very wise."

"Uh-huh. And, for the record, I'm sorry for it happening to you, too."

He was silent for a moment, remembering that time. Then…

"You told me you were sorry back then."

"In a _graveyard_. I was all emotional then."

He lifted his arm, once again inviting her to lay against him, and she took him up on it. Once she was settled, he continued the conversation.

"So…..you're not emotional now?"

"That's not what I mean. I mean that, back then, I was scared to death for you, and angry at what he'd done to you, and angry with myself for having separated from you. I was exhausted, and sleep-deprived. And I had my own PTSD after those damn dogs came after me."

"I'm sorry…."

"No, let me finish, because I don't want you to think the wrong thing. What I meant was that, even after the heat of that awful, horrible, amazingly wonderful moment when we found you…..even after that...even now, it brings me pain."

He squeezed her shoulder in acknowledgement, and spent a moment taking in her words.

"I'm sorry. And I guess I should be thankful that I didn't have to go through it more than once."

JJ tilted her head up to look at him. "What?"

"Thank goodness you only had that one kidnapping. I'm sorry I put you through so many more."

JJ's brows raised. "Are we having a competition?"

"JJ, you've got admit that I've been through more kidnappings than you have. Well, technically two of them were hostage-takings, but still….I'm sorry if you were worried."

"Oh, my God, I can't believe you're joking about that. We must both have hit our heads harder than we thought. All right, Doctor Reid, let's count."

"Are you forgetting I have an eidetic memory?"

"Heaven forbid. But these are the kinds of things that stay in the memory of us mere mortals as well. Okay, start."

As much as they were both exhausted, and as much as they both needed rest, they also both desperately needed a distraction that would carry them until the moon took its rightful place in the night sky. Later, much later, they would each ponder the fact that they'd spent that time recounting so many of the horrific things they'd been through. And then they would realize why.

_Because we survived them._

So they played the game, and Reid began.

"If you insist. Okay, there was that time Hotch and I were taken hostage by the LDSK. And the time Emily and I were taken hostage by Cyrus. And, I don't know if it counts, because I went in there voluntarily, but the time I was held hostage on that train with Elle."

"Ah, but how many times were you _kidnapped _and held hostage?"

"Uh, twice, that I can think of. Once by Tobias Hankel, and then once with Garcia, by that disciple of Cyrus. Not to mention, I was about to be sacrificed, that time."

JJ heard the tone in his voice, and eyed him.

"Are you trying to one-up me?"

"Let's face it, I think, if we were to write a book about how not to survive a career with the FBI, I would definitely have more material to work with."

She kept up the facetious tone. "Maybe you and Rossi can collaborate, when this is all over."

"Maybe. When it's over."

She was quiet for a few moments after that, and he thought she might have fallen asleep. But then she spoke once again.

"For the record, I thank God that you came out of each of those things in one piece. We weren't even that close, back when you went into that train car, but I don't think I breathed again until you came out. Just like…"

She'd cut herself off at the still-traumatic memory, but he knew exactly what 'just like' referred to, because she'd told him so often. She'd felt like she'd been holding her breath for the entirety of his time at Milburn.

He felt her arms go around him, and squeeze him tight.

"Promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"As you're thinking about what you'll do next…..can you please make sure it's something where you can't get into trouble?"


	13. Chapter 13

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 13**_

Despite their attempts at distraction, they'd both remained vigilant for signs and sounds of human activity. Just at dusk, they'd seen a beam of light arc from right to left, its integrity broken up by the shadows of the dense foliage surrounding them.

"That's got to be their car leaving, right?" JJ sounded hopeful.

"Leaving, or repositioning." Reid wasn't quite ready for them to show themselves yet.

"You think they're circling around?"

"It's not that thick an area of woods. It can probably be walked in under ten minutes."

Which was why he'd hoped she would leave him behind, even if he understood why she wouldn't. She might have gotten away, if she'd left him.

He might as well have said the words aloud.

"I told you, I'm not about to leave you here, unable to defend yourself. It might take _me_ under ten minutes, but what about you?"

All he could do was to smile.

"You know, we could both decide to leave the FBI altogether, and go on tour as a couple of psychics."

"Ha! The trouble is, we're only able to read _each other's_ minds. That would get old, pretty quickly."

"I guess you're right."

Reid was quiet for a few moments, still waiting for a sign from their pursuers, but having been thrust into a sudden and unwelcome memory by their last few words of conversation. Even in the gathering twilight, JJ caught sight of it in his features.

"What?" _You're not always readable enough, my friend._

"Huh?"

"What were you just thinking? And no, don't make a joke of it."

Reid heaved a sigh as he pulled her closer and resettled his jacket over them. The ambient temperature had dropped with the sun.

"I guess I was just thinking that being inside my mind isn't always a good thing. Maybe you want to be a little bit careful about that."

JJ tilted her head up to him. "I'm not afraid. Remember, I was there."

There, when he'd admitted what he'd done in prison, there when he'd let his anger overcome his restraint. She'd been there when he'd surprised himself with how much venom one human body could hold toward another. There, when he'd feared that venom had displaced his humanity.

_And she didn't run away. She saw me, as plainly as I can be seen, and she didn't run away. _

He'd marveled at that before, but this time, the thought brought another one along with it. This time, for the very first time, he realized that she might have seen him even better than he'd seen himself. He'd known the murderous rage from the inside, of course. But he'd not witnessed it command the features of his best friend, not seen the wildness of it in his eyes, not seen the toll it had taken, so plainly evident in the dejected posture of defeat.

It was the kind of thing that once had frightened him, to have allowed himself to get so close to another human being. Even if he hadn't shared his mother's diagnosis, he'd been raised with the example of suspicion, the sense that others were to be feared more than trusted. It hadn't been until his adulthood that he'd found the courage to share anything of himself beyond the wealth of knowledge in his mind. He'd opened himself, ever so slowly, and found the richness of friendship, and shared experience, and hopes and dreams and wishes.

To this day, he'd shared himself with only a very few people, and with none more deeply than the woman beside him. A large part of him dreaded the prospect of having to form new relationships in whatever new circumstance would follow his time with the BAU. After all he'd been through, he didn't think he had that deep a reservoir of trust left in him. So all he could do was to be thankful for the relationships he had, and vow to nurture them, even if over a distance.

But there was no such distance now, nor had there been on the day she'd seen him at his worst. Reid squeezed his gratitude into her shoulder.

"You're right. I remember. And I don't think I ever said 'thank you'. But…thank you."

It was JJ's turn to be thrust into memory. It was true he hadn't thanked her at the time. There had been too much left to worry about, too much left to do, and then they'd been thrust into the trauma that had actually been caused by Scratch.

But he _had_ thanked her another time. She'd been worried about him then, even before realizing he'd been targeted by an acolyte seeking revenge, and he'd thanked her for caring. She should have been touched by it…and she had been. But there was something about it that had seemed so formal, so stilted, that he should thank her for doing something that came to her so naturally, and it had pierced her. And then, he'd been gone, and when they'd found him, he'd been as close to dying as he'd been all those years ago, with Tobias Hankel. And she'd done as she'd done, all those years ago, and rushed to him with an embrace filled with relief, and gratitude, and love.

"You may as well thank me for breathing." _Caring_ _about_ _you_ _comes_ _just_ _as_ _naturally_.

"I _do_ thank you for breathing."

She smiled back at him. "Ditto. So, do you think we've waited long enough yet?"

Reid considered it. "Let me get a look around this boulder. I haven't seen any more light, but it could have been blocked."

JJ was up before him. "I've got the good legs. I'll do it."

Reid might have been able to see over the rock, but JJ had to move around it. Without a sight line to each other, they kept up a whispered conversation, each assuring the other of their safety. When she'd kept watch for a full ten minutes without seeing any sign of activity, they felt safe in moving on.

JJ used her less-injured left hand to help Reid to his feet. Once he'd gotten his footing with the crutch, they set out, dappled moonlight guiding their way.

Spencer Reid had been in the woods a great many times since the night he'd been forced to dig his own grave. He'd struggled mightily with it at first, even in daylight, but time and therapy had helped him cope. Until tonight. Tonight, he was once again wandering in the woods, barely able to see, injured, and not at all certain of his survival. It was only natural that he flash back, and he'd just begun to do so when JJ broke the silence between them with a whisper.

"Can we make a deal? I'll keep your mind off the fact that we're lost in the woods if you'll keep my mind off it."

At first, he thought she'd been rattling around inside his mind again, but then the memory came to him.

"I thought you said you'd made that whole thing up." Grateful for the diversion.

"I told _Morgan_ I'd made it up. I wasn't about to look like a weak female in front of the BAU's strongman."

"Ha!"

"Ha? You think I'm kidding?"

"No, 'ha', because you called Morgan our strongman."

"Well, he was, wasn't he? I mean, you said it yourself, he's the one who kicked in all the doors for us."

"I guess he did. But I think he was at least as proud of his intellect as he was of his muscle."

"Was." Even in a whisper, JJ sounded wistful.

"What?"

"We both said 'was', like he's in our past." She stopped them then, and turned to Reid. "I don't want you to be in my past."

He knew exactly what she meant. "We'll stay in touch. Neither of us is planning on moving, right? And we have the boys to keep us connected. We'll still see each other."

But it wouldn't be the same, and they both mourned the change. Friendships weren't built on planned visits and events, they were built on shared experiences, and things in common. And _deep_ friendships were built upon sharing the huge, dramatic triumphs and tragedies of life, and even more upon the thousands of 'nothing' moments in between. They would still share the triumphs and tragedies. But the nothing moments would become lost wealth.

Reid moved them on. "Well, I guess I didn't care about looking weak back then. When I said I was afraid of the dark, I meant it."

She cast him a sideways grin. "It's not so dark right now, is it?"

"Not with my light walking right next to me."

That won him a fisted rub of his back, and he noticed it.

"You can't open your hand?"

"I can, it's just more comfortable if I don't."

"Opening your hand stretches the skin on your palm."

_And tugs at the edges of your infected wound_. Reid did his best to pick up the pace.

They should have been nearing the far edge of the wooded area, if they hadn't been going in circles. Not having been able to visualize the North Star, Reid had been navigating them using the position of the moon.

He drew them to a stop.

"Can you make out anything? Does it look brighter ahead?"

"I can't…I don't know, maybe."

"Okay, if I'm right, we're near the far road. They could be waiting there for us, so we'll need to be careful."

"I can go ahead to try to get a look. And, before you try to stop me, can I point out that you can't exactly move quietly with that crutch."

He conceded. "All right. But we need to be sure you can find your way back. If you start to lose sight of me, signal, and I'll move up."

"Any ideas on how I should signal? I'll be able to make out your figure, but not whether you're waving. That will be the same for you."

He thought for a moment, then reached into his pocket.

"There's probably not much charge left, but this should work. The flashlight will be too noticeable from the street, but you can just wave the screen in my direction, and I'll see it."

"Your phone! We should have tried it once we got out of the building!"

"I did, back when we were resting. Still no service….wait!" Eyeing the startup mode on the screen. "I've got one bar! We must have moved closer to the tower."

"Thank God! Can you reach Pen? Or just call 911!"

"I'm trying…..it's ringing….ring…ugh. Dropped."

"Try again!"

"It's lost the bar…no it's back…gone again…. We're going to have to get closer."

JJ deflated. "All right, give it to me. It may as well help us that way, if it's not going to help us make a call."

He handed the phone over. "Please, please, be careful. Just check it out, and come back for me. If they're out there, we'll take them on together."

She grinned at him. "We don't split up. Got it?"

He returned it. "Got it."

Then he held his breath as she set off without him. His subconscious mused about how absurdly large a small distance could seem, given the proper circumstance. It mused about how unthinkable it might once have seemed to have had to seek respite, and protection for a ten minute walk. It pondered the vagaries of fate, that they should be in danger of losing their lives on the very day that they'd thought the risk would end.

He could just make her out as an interruption in the pattern made by the shadow of the tree canopy as it was penetrated by moonlight. She moved forward several steps at a time, and then stopped, presumably to be certain she could still see him, bathed in the precise circle of moonlight they'd chosen for him.

Minutes in, he began to lose sight of her, and then he noticed a faint light moving in a semicircle, a 180 degree arc. She needed him to move up. Reid left his designated spot, headed in the direction of the light, alert for another spot where she might be able to see him. But the vegetation was more dense, and the moonlight more interrupted. He'd been able to see her because of her movement, but he doubted she would be able to see him if he remained stationary.

So he moved up until he could actually make out her figure, and not just the light from his phone. Then he set his crutch against a tree trunk, and began to make large waving motions with his arms. As long as she could make out the movement, they'd be within sight of one another.

Not having actually planned this part out, Reid was relieved when JJ seemed to understand what he was doing, and watched as she apparently shut down the screen and turned to move forward again. His relief immediately evaporated when he heard a sound of movement coming from behind the trees to his left.

Reid froze. And listened. And listened.

_It's probably just an animal. I'm surprised we haven't run into one before this, actually. _

Now he just had to hope it was a friendly one. Or at least one that was as afraid of him, as he was of it. He couldn't very well call out to JJ, so he just launched a prayer to whatever deity might be listening.

His hearing had become keen in the darkness. He could make out a faint flutter of leaves in the breeze, but little else. He was too far away to hear JJ's footfalls, and whatever animal had been nearby seemed to have moved on.

_Or else it's learned how to creep up on humans._

He listened intently, his pulse in alert mode. There was nothing. Not a footfall, not a chatter or chirp, not the sound of a predator stealthily approaching its prey. There was nothing.

Until there was something.

It came all at once, a cacophony of sounds. A rustling, a voice calling out, and the echo of a bullet leaving its chamber.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 14**_

At the sound of the gunshot, Reid dropped his crutch and attempted to run in the direction where he'd last seen JJ. As he did, his mind replayed the sounds that had thrust his body into motion.

_Did the voice come first, and then the gunshot? _

It had been barely a word, if it had even been a word at all, so he couldn't be sure. But his mind had processed it as a female voice.

_But was it hers? Or was it Linda's? Was it JJ, trying to command a situation, or Linda, trying to command her? Or calling out to one of her partners? Or was it JJ, calling out to me? Was she calling for help?_

Unavoidably reminded of that time, so many years ago, so many life experiences ago, when they'd been separated, and he'd heard her cry out, and started running to her. And never reached her.

What if it _had_ been JJ he'd heard, just now? What if she'd been calling for help? What if she needed to know he'd heard her?

He'd called out to her all those years ago, wanting her to know he was coming to her aid, but it had ended in his own abduction. He couldn't call out to her now, couldn't give his position away, not for the sake of his own safety, but for hers. Nor could he afford to give thought to the source of that rustling sound that had originally gotten his attention.

As he started to run, the adrenalin rush allowed him to power through the pain, but he encountered an unexpected problem. The wearing of the extremely tight tourniquet had been effective in keeping his bleeding to a minimum, but it had apparently also been effective in putting pressure on the nerves within his leg. He realized that he could barely feel the ball of his left foot, and he couldn't feel his heel at all. He was still pondering the danger of that lack of sensation when the foot apparently encountered an obstacle, and he was launched forward, coming down hard on his bruised torso and thighs.

The pain was excruciating, and he nearly passed out from it. Realizing, he put himself into a Valsalva maneuver to push blood to his brain.

_Don't do this, she needs you! Get up!_

With difficulty, he pulled to his knees, and his hands fell upon his thighs, where his left hand felt fresh wetness. He'd opened up his deep wound once again.

Reid had a decision to make, for which he wished that he could get to a better state of alertness, but he would have to operate as he was.

_I'm already bleeding. Should I just take the tourniquet off, and get my sensation back? What if I start bleeding out? I can't help her then!_

But he also couldn't help her if he kept stumbling through the woods. In the end, he thought she stood the best chance of surviving if he could get to her quickly, and that meant leaving the belt behind, even if it put his own survival at greater risk.

_What difference does it make? If I save myself, but lose her….I might as well be dead._

So he loosened the tourniquet, and held his palm to his thigh, feeling for a significant surge in wetness that might mean he would bleed out too quickly to be helpful. When it didn't come, he sighed in relief, and removed the belt entirely. Then he pushed himself to his feet, oddly missing the sense of support the belt had given his leg.

Once he'd reoriented himself to the angle of the moonlight, Reid set forward, moving as quietly, and with as much stealth, as his leg would allow him. Sensation returned to his foot in the form of pins and needles that didn't quite transmit the sense of touch, so he had to compensate by reaching his long arms outward to grasp supporting branches as he moved along. That was successful in allowing him to right himself each time he stumbled, but it also kept him from having a hand on his weapon. He had to hope that, should it be needed, he would be in a stable enough position to grab it quickly.

What should have been a ten-minute walk became a laborious journey, during which Reid's mind had the opportunity to present to him all manner of horrific possibilities, interspersed with some equally disturbing memories. It was times such as this one that he considered his eidetic memory to be a curse of sorts, because it had so successfully catalogued the innumerable ways in which humans could be inhumane to one another.

He knew what JJ would have told him, because she'd said it so many times after his ordeal in prison. Frequently, and without warning, he would become lost for a bit, reviling himself, reviling the things he'd seen and done, and the things that had been done to him. Whenever she found him like that… _whenever she thought I was lost_….. she would bring him back, with a different memory. A happy one. A good outcome. A story about one of the boys.

So now, when it seemed that _she_ might be lost, he forced his memory into a u-turn. He consciously drew up stored images of her smiling, of each of them bringing the other coffee, of games of poker, and gin, of a thousand minor breakthroughs celebrated in a thousand police precincts around the country. He remembered the look on her face when he'd dragged his exhausted self into her hospital room on the day Henry had been born. His telling her she looked beautiful, simply because it was true. The look on her face when she had come to him, at Milburn, to tell him she was taking him home. He remembered that embrace as he would remember no other in his life.

Along the way, as he moved through the woods, Reid encountered several areas where the tree cover was light, making it possible for him to be visible to an observer. He knew it might mean that their unsubs could see him, and thereby put him in danger. But he also realized it might mean that JJ could see him, and that she might be able to signal him where she was.

_If she's conscious. Please, God, let her be conscious!_

Weighing the two possibilities, Reid opted to make himself visible for a few minutes at each such location. He would stop, doing his best to balance without a branch to hold him steady, grateful that feeling had now completely returned to his foot, and considerably less grateful that it had also returned to his throbbing left thigh. Still, he stood, moving his arms to draw attention, whether it was hers or theirs didn't matter to him. He was more than willing to take the chance. Even if JJ couldn't see him, even if she was injured somewhere, she stood a better chance of surviving if their pursuers spotted him, and took him, and not her. But the strategy proved fruitless. He was apparently invisible to every human eye.

At last, Reid could make out the edge of the wooded area, which abrupted on a short lawn leading to what looked like a curved section of a highway service road. He positioned himself behind a thick tree trunk and allowed his eyes to fully accommodate to the light. Then he scanned a 360 degree circumference around his position, seeing nothing but trees, grass and asphalt. No vehicles, no unsubs, and no JJ.

_Maybe I've gotten off center. Maybe she's up or down the road a bit._

He knew that the absence of their car didn't mean that one or more of their unsubs wasn't lying in wait, but he had already resigned himself to whatever fate might be his, if only he could save his best friend. So Reid left the tree cover and hobbled his way to the lawn at the very edge of the woods, wishing that the service road had been better traveled at this time of night. With effort, and without a means of balancing himself save to use his tender leg, Reid slowly made his way up and down the swath of lawn, venturing now and then back past the tree line, to search for her. But there was only silence, and dappled moonlight.

With nothing left to lose, Reid decided to make his presence fully known. He began to call out to her, over and over and over again, listening, hoping, praying, each time. But there was nothing.

Exhausted, but too afraid to sit without having a means to get up again, Reid leaned against a tree, panting.

_She's not here. Did I walk past her? Is she lying in there? Did they take her? What do I do? God help me, what do I do?_

He had so little reserve left. He would have had nothing at all, if he hadn't been so driven to find her. He was injured, weak, in pain, not quite thinking clearly. He was left without a crutch, without a cell phone to call for help, and without his partner, and the closest relationship he'd ever had in his life.

He'd become dehydrated with all of the effort of his trek, which was the only reason his despair wasn't pouring out in tears. Instead, it emanated from him as a virtual miasma, one that reeked of familiarity. He'd known this before.

_This is how I felt when Maeve died. It's how I felt when I let down everyone I loved and got myself thrown into prison. Milburn literally reeked of it, all those men, with not even a molecule of hope. _

The memory of Milburn brought him out of it. When he'd been there, he'd been in deep, blinding despair, and he'd not been able to see the other side of it. Not until she'd brought it to him.

_And now I'm going to bring it to you!_

With new resolve, he pushed away from the tree and moved back into the wooded area, searching for something just the right size. If he had to, he would walk to the highway, flag someone down, use their phone to call for help. He just needed something to serve as a crutch, because time was of the essence.

He needed a dead branch, either hanging or already on the ground. He knew it might be brittle, but he didn't have the strength to try to pull a green branch from a tree. Briefly, he considered trying to shoot it off, but he needed to conserve his ammunition.

He'd just found a likely candidate, when his attention was abruptly drawn away. He heard the sound of tires moving on pavement before he saw the light. Someone was on the service road, and if he could make it there in time, he might be able to wave them down!

Still without a crutch, Reid did his best to move quickly without falling, but his progress was slow. Which was why he still hadn't reached the edge of the woods when he saw the headlights turn, and illuminate the place where he'd just been. Curious, but not afraid, for he'd resigned himself to his fate, Reid peered out from behind a tree trunk that would not have been able to hide someone with more bulk.

From his observation post, Reid could see that the vehicle was not the sedan that had been used by the unsubs. They had apparently exchanged their car for an SUV. He watched as three doors were flung open at once, and three people alighted from the vehicle. Away from the woods, with the moonlight unfiltered, he could see them moving toward the tree line, two males and a female.

_They've taken her. And they've come back for me._

If that was the case, he fully intended to let himself be captured. The last thing he would do would be to leave JJ alone in their talons. Whether or not he could save her, whether or not they could save each other, didn't matter to him. Reid simply couldn't live with the idea of her being alone in it.

_If we go, we go together. _

He'd been about to make himself known to them when a particular set of synapses fired, and his eyes widened in shocked surprise. Of the three unsubs, he'd seen only Linda, and he wasn't sure he would be able to recognize her figure in the shadows. But he definitely recognized these silhouettes, and their blessedly familiar patterns of movement. The slim female figure, half-running, weapon drawn. The male, walking with experienced stride, just behind her. And the other male, the one who'd taken the lead, grim determination leading him by broad shoulders and purposeful steps, no weapon in his hands save the power of his fists.

Reid knew those fists well. And the shoulders. And the man.

"Morgan!"


	15. Chapter 15

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 15**_

"Morgan!"

The head of the shadowed figure whipped in Reid's direction.

"Reid?"

"Is it really you?"

"Kid, I can hear you, but I can't see you. Keep talking to me, Pretty Boy."

Reid shook his head in confusion.

_Am I hallucinating? Have I lost too much blood? Is this what it feels like?_

Because it felt like he was having an out-of-body experience, as though he'd mentally conjured up the help he so desperately needed, and his subconscious had reflexively gone to his personal paragon of strength.

"Kid? Reid! Talk to me, Kid!"

Then he heard another familiar voice, and another, one male and one female.

"Reid!" "Spencer!"

If he was hallucinating, it would go down as one of the most welcome hallucinations in history, his own personal oasis in a desert of despair. Even if it seemed crazy, Reid couldn't resist going along with it.

"I'm here, in the woods. I'm trying to get to you, but….oomph." The breath knocked from him, as he'd moved in haste, and tripped on the protruding root of a tree.

He might have been silenced, but his short sentence had apparently been enough for the others to zero in on his location. The blinding beam of a flashlight caught him as he still lay sprawled on the floor of the forest.

"Reid!" It was the female voice this time. Both concern and relief were intermingled in Emily's tone.

The two men flanked him, and helped him to his feet, and all three new arrivals took stock of their colleague. David Rossi, holding the flashlight, ran it up and down the figure of the tall profiler.

"You're injured."

"I'm fine. Where's JJ?"

Hoping, despite what his wavering logic told him, that they'd somehow already found her and gotten her to safety.

Emily became even more alarmed than she had when she'd first laid eyes on him.

"You mean she's not with you? Where is she?"

Still holding on to Reid, Morgan could feel the shift in his friend's weight.

"We need to sit you down, Pretty Boy." Doing so, as he spoke. "You hit your head?"

"What? No, I …." Rubbing at his occiput. "I think a beam hit me."

"A beam? You mean a branch?"

"No, a beam! From when the building exploded!"

The three newly-arrived profilers exchanged glances, not sure whether their injured colleague was confused, or whether they simply had no understanding of what had transpired here.

Emily stepped into her unit chief role, recognizing the need for more information.

"All right. Dave, get Garcia going on finding out about an explosion within…." Looking at Reid, "….two miles of our location. Morgan….I know…"

_I know you don't really work for me anymore._

"Just tell me what you want, Princess."

_I want both of my agents back, in one piece. Both of our friends._

She almost asked him to call out the local office to assist in the search, but then she remembered that he didn't have any real standing to do so.

_But I can deputize him, can't I? Can a unit chief do that?_

She thought it unlikely, but decided they were in one of those situations where it would be better to apologize later than to ask permission up front.

"I'll need your help with the search. And…"

Nodding her head in the direction of their younger friend.

_I need you to keep him calm, and safe._

Understanding, Morgan responded with a single nod of his head.

Emily gave one more order before getting started.

"Rossi, call out the search. And we'll need medical."

Reid had been silently watching and listening, but he was not about to be sidelined, no matter his condition.

"I don't need medi.."

She cut him off. "Yes, you do."

As he opened his mouth to protest, Emily put up a hand to stop him.

"I get it, you want to find JJ first. I'm not going to argue with you about that. But what if _she_ needs medical?"

Reid's mouth closed again, on a subdued, "Oh."

Emily gestured to Morgan. "Let's get him off his feet before he falls over. We need to hear the rest of this story."

The brawny former profiler was tempted to just carry his friend in his arms, but knew that wouldn't go over well. So he supported Reid in limping toward the open door of the SUV, and assisted him in sitting on the edge of the seat.

"Okay, from the start, please," encouraged Emily.

If this was related to the case they thought they'd just put to bed, there was obviously much they'd missed. And if it was something completely different….

_Maybe this isn't the last day of the BAU after all._

Reid wasn't happy about being interviewed, not with JJ still missing. But he realized their friends would need to know as much as possible if they were going to be able to help. So he launched into an abbreviated version of the explosion, and why they'd been at the building in the first place, and what they'd deduced as they'd awaited rescue, and then tried to rescue themselves. Fortunately for his audience, they'd both been schooled in Reid-rapidspeak, and were able to follow the story, even with the words coming at them with such an accelerated pace.

"And then I heard JJ call out, and I heard gunshots, and I ran, but I fell, and by the time I got near the edge of the woods, I saw you. Except I thought it was them, so I stayed hidden, until I saw Morgan."

Directing his next words first to one, and then the other. "What are you doing here?" and "How did you know where we were?"

Emily replied first. "Garcia finally got a response when she pinged your phone. She'd been trying for almost two days."

"Which is why I'm here, to answer your question. Garcia called me, all upset, told me you two were missing, 'on the last day ever of our beautiful BAU' (making finger quotes). This is only three hours drive from me, so I jumped on the highway. Couldn't have something happen to my old friends on their last day."

Reid sent a small smile to the man who would always feel like a brother to him.

"Well, thanks. And I'll thank you even more when we find JJ." Thinking a moment. "She had my phone, so she could signal me when to move forward. She must have gotten back into cell range, if Garcia got a response. Which means…"

"I wish," said Emily. "Garcia's been pinging right along, trying to zero in on your position, but the signal disappeared again."

Reid frowned. "The battery was pretty low, even though we did our best to conserve it. Maybe it ran out. Or maybe…"

"Or maybe she turned it off, so they wouldn't see the light," offered Morgan, as Rossi joined the group. The most experienced profiler hadn't heard the whole conversation, but he hadn't needed to.

"Or maybe our girl was smart enough to turn it off, to conserve the battery, so she could turn it back on when they've taken her wherever they've taken her."

Eyes met, and glances exchanged, all around. JJ was obviously intelligent enough to have done as Rossi suggested. But they all knew the odds of survival once one has been abducted from the original location.

Reid did his best to spring up, but only succeeded in falling into Morgan.

"Hold up, there Pretty Boy. Where are you going?"

"We don't know that she's been taken…..we need to look for her! I heard gunshots, remember? If they shot her, why would they take her? What if she's lying in there, somewhere, hurt? What if she's bleeding out?! We have to look!"

The outburst left Reid both physically and emotionally exhausted, and it took only two of Morgan's fingers to push him back down onto the seat.

"You're in no shape to go anywhere, Kid, and the last thing you want is to distract us from looking for JJ, right?" Knowing exactly how to gain his friend's cooperation. "I'll look for her."

"So will I," added Rossi. "And pretty soon we'll have a whole search team, not to mention some daylight."

Emily caught her young agent's eye. "All right? Let them go and look for JJ, and you and I can stay here and work the profile, just in case she's not here."

Reid sent grateful eyes around to each of them, nodding slowly.

"You're right. You're all right. Sorry, I'm just not thinking straight."

Morgan patted his friend's arm. "Don't worry, Kid we'll find her."

* * *

Watching as the others moved out of sight, Emily turned back to Reid.

"Okay, let's go over this thing with Linda again, okay? But slowly, for this mere mortal."

Before Reid had a chance to answer, Emily's phone buzzed, and drew her eyes to the screen.

"Garcia." Then, answering the call, "Go ahead, Garcia."

"Oh, my God, I can't believe they're even alive! Look at your phone!"

Emily held the screen so that both she and Reid could see. There were two satellite photographs side-by-side, showing before-and-after shots of the shattered building.

"How did…." began Reid, but he was cut off from the other end of the phone.

"Oh, my poor addled genius! Did you forget Madame Penelope sees all things?"

"But.." Knowing that satellite map images available to most people weren't updated all that often. But he was taking to Garcia, after all. "Never mind."

Emily was still taking in the photo. "Never mind is right. Who cares how she got it? Look at it, Reid! Penelope's right, it's a miracle you two survived!"

It did look that way, from above. But Reid stuck by his initial assessment, made from within the building.

"It was set up like a demolition. Something designed to weaken the whole thing, so it would fall in on itself, without creating a big blast radius of debris around it."

"Does that make a difference? You still could have been killed, if you'd been close enough to the explosives, right?"

"It makes a difference to the profile."

"How so?"

"I think the explosives were already set, maybe part of an insurance scam, or maybe to try to destroy something specific that's in the building. We'll get a better idea of that when we're told exactly where the explosives were."

"But, if it was for insurance, why do you think they were hunting for you?"

Reid realized he'd left out several important steps, and hurried to fill them in.

"We…I…think that Linda purposely sent us here, on a fool's errand. We'd stayed with her until her husband arrived, and then she made a show of worrying about getting some papers dropped off here. We felt bad for her, and we had time, so we offered to drop them off."

Emily caught on. "Which means she knew you would be in the building. But did she know about the explosives? Or was she just too truly distraught to run her own errand?"

"We wondered the same thing, until she came back with her partners. I still don't have all of it. I mean, it's pretty clear she wanted us to come to the building. But were we supposed to be witnesses to the explosion, or…"

"Or victims of it." Emily understood the dilemma. "But didn't you say you'd reworked the profile? That you think the unsub we caught was actually a partner of Linda?"

"I think he might be submissive to her. It's just like one of the first cases I had with Gideon. We thought the woman was a victim then, too. But she was actually the dominant."

Emily hadn't been around for that case, but she could imagine the complexity of it.

"And you think that Linda was actually the link among the victims right along."

Reid nodded. "She was at the courthouse when each of the victims were there. She was working her way up a perceived power ladder."

"Needing to dominate the women as much as she had the men," mused Emily.

"Exactly. And now I'm worried that she sees JJ as the next rung in the ladder. An FBI agent, beautiful, smart, accomplished."

"Everything Linda wants to be, and isn't."

He didn't have to spell it out. The profiler in each of them followed the trajectory of their theory to its natural conclusion, to a near-inevitability that terrified them.

"We have to find her, Emily!"

Reid's other beautiful, smart, accomplished colleague lasered her gaze onto his.

"We're going to."


	16. Chapter 16

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 16**_

It wasn't until morning twilight had given way to dawn that anyone noticed. He hadn't been symptomatic at all, or so it had seemed. In retrospect, they thought it could probably be attributed to adrenalin, to the fear he shared with the rest about what had happened to their missing colleague. But daylight showed them otherwise.

"What's that?" Rossi had just exited the wooded area, having completed the search of his sector.

"What's wha…" started Emily, who had been deep in conversation with their local office. Her eyes followed the direction of Rossi's index finger, and landed on Reid. Whose brown trousers were accented with a dark bloom over his left thigh. She ran over to Reid, who was leaning against the hood of their SUV.

"You're bleeding!" Stating what had now become obvious.

"I'm fine."

Trying to shake it off, as he'd done an hour ago, when the ambulance they'd called for had been redirected to what had been deemed a more emergent emergency. Looking at Reid's trousers, Emily regretted letting that happen.

"I thought you just had a sprain or something. I didn't realize you were bleeding."

"I'm all right. The tourniquet will help, as long as I'm not bearing weight on it."

Emily opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again as he raised big, soulful eyes to meet hers. Despite the size of his vocabulary, Reid's eyes had always spoken to her more clearly than his words.

_Because there's not an iota of artifice in them, even when he wants it to be there. His eyes have always been the window to his soul. _

She was hit with a momentary, and completely unexpected wave of sorrow, as a flash of memory reminded her of some of the things his eyes had revealed to her in the past.

_There will be no more memories after today, good or bad, even if we make it through this day._

Reid's eyes articulated his desperation. _Please don't send me away! I won't be able to live with myself if I don't try to help her!_

Unit Chief Prentiss recognized the exhaustion in her agent, and the emotionality in his unstated plea. Unit Chief Prentiss knew that neither factor was likely to be helpful to the situation, and that she should send him for a medical evaluation.

But Unit Chief Prentiss would only own that title until her missing agent was found, and the team returned to Langley. It was not a thing to be defended, nor preserved. But friendship was, and especially one that ran as deep as the one she shared with the man in front of her. The man who was practically begging her…..

"All right. But I want you off your feet. No kicking down doors."

Morgan had returned in time to hear the last of it, and all three of them grinned.

"That's right, Pretty Boy. I've got that covered."

"Deal." _Just let me stay._

The former profiler had some unwelcome news for the others.

"We finished a sweep of this whole wooded area." Using his arm to outline the expanse that had been searched. "She's not here."

Reid had already been through a mental algorithm.

"If she's not here, that has to mean she's alive. There would have been no reason to take her if….if…"

Morgan put a hand on his old friend's back. "She's alive, Kid. You're right, there would have been no reason to take her, otherwise."

Rossi had been talking with the head of the local FBI office, and now rejoined his colleagues.

"All right, who's got an idea? I need to hear an idea, because the last thing I'm going to do, on the last day of the BAU, is lose an agent to some bozo."

Emily gave the first response. "We've got Garcia looking into Linda's background, and her husband's. W know they don't own the building, but they rent space on the first floor."

Reid added, "But we still don't know who the third person is."

Which wasn't good. They could search any properties related to the unsub couple, but without knowing the identity of the third person, they couldn't identify any additional properties for searching.

"He's subservient to her, just like her husband is."

"Someone who works for her? Someone in her social circle?" postulated Rossi. "Or maybe someone from the court?"

Reid's eyes lit up. "That would make sense. I mean, she found her previous victims through the court. If she was willing to let him come to the building after the explosion, I think we can assume that he's been in on at least some of what she's done. Maybe he's been in on a lot of it. Maybe_ all_ of it."

Emily wasn't so sure. "Are you saying that she had two accomplices, plus her husband? The perp we have in custody, and then her husband and some other guy?"

She sounded incredulous, and Reid couldn't help but agree with her. But the facts pointed in that most unlikely direction.

"I know it's unusual. It's crazy, even, to think that this one woman might have three male minions accomplishing her evil deeds for her, but that's what it looks like."

Which comment prompted the three males gathered around the female unit chief to exchange glances. Emily caught the visual exchanges, and winced.

"Aw, c'mon."

"Don't worry, Princess. No one thinks you're evil."

"No, but it does prove the point," said Rossi. "It's entirely possible, and Reid makes a good argument for it. We have to look at this crazy dame as a ringleader."

"She's more than that," insisted Reid. "She's got an obsession with power, and the power ladder. Each prior victim was in a greater perceived position of power. I think that's why she went after JJ. Who would she see as more powerful than a member of an elite FBI unit?"

Rossi chewed on the idea for a moment, his face displaying the acrid taste of the place where it had brought him.

"You're right. She wouldn't aspire to go up the chain of command, because she would have no access to anyone at the paper-pusher level. A supervisory special agent is probably even more than she's ever hoped for."

"Which means….." started Emily, only to be interrupted by Morgan, who had lost none of his profiling skills.

"Which means that she knows she has her last victim. She'll want to prolong it."

Rossi's eyes were grave as he put into words what all of them already knew.

"She'll want to play."

* * *

Prentiss and Rossi had gone off to confer with the head of the local field office and a newly designated incident commander for the police, leaving Morgan and Reid alone in the SUV.

"How you holding up there, Kid?"

"I'm fine."

"Uh-huh."

"I am. I just….God, Morgan, on our last day! How could this have happened on our last day?!"

The man he'd long thought of as a brother stared Reid down for a long minute.

"Now I know you're off your game. The Spencer Reid I know would have been able to tell me that the odds of something happening on one day versus another are negligible. It's just….what do you call it?"

"Perception bias. But even odds presume something."

"What?"

"That you're not me."

_That the world, fate, karma, numbers, astrological signs…whatever…aren't really out to get you. But they're out to get ME. _

"Come on, now. Think positive. We'll have local and state police out blanketing the area, and any minute now, Baby Girl will be calling with the locations of their other properties."

Reid leaned forward, his head in his hands. To Morgan, he looked more than troubled. He looked frail.

"Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should sit it out for a while, like Prentiss says. Let the hospital patch you up, and join us in the field."

Reid's head shook back and forth ever so slightly.

"Look, I know you want to help find her. I get it. But…."

If he hadn't been in such a weakened state, maybe he wouldn't have admitted it, even to Morgan. But Reid had little reserve left, and whatever he spent in resisting his colleagues' good intentions wouldn't be available for saving JJ.

"They won't be able to just 'patch me up'."

"What? What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm going to need surgery, not just a few stitches. The wound is deep, and the bleeding is coming from a pretty big vessel."

Morgan quickly exited the vehicle, intending to force the issue of Reid getting medical care. But he was held in place by the pleading in his younger friend's voice.

"Morgan, please! Please. I can't know she's in danger of her life, and not try to save her! Please. She's where she is because of me. She went on ahead, because it was so hard for me to walk, and…."

"Whoa, listen to yourself, Pretty Boy. JJ is in trouble, and none of us are giving up until we find her." Seeing something pass over Reid's features, Morgan altered his language. "We're not giving up until we _save_ her. But none of this is your fault. By your count, we already have four unsubs to blame this on. Let's keep it at that."

Reid's nod acknowledged that he'd heard. But he'd not been dissuaded in one aspect.

"Please don't tell Emily. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't help JJ. You know how important she is to me."

As he spoke the words, Reid's mind flashed back to a thousand small moments, to shared laughter, and tears, and worry, and the facing of danger. And then it flashed back to the night they'd spent in the rubble, and their sharing of memories, and feelings….and a kiss.

"I can't leave her alone out there, Morgan."

The former profiler was torn. The practical side of him knew that an injured Reid could quickly become a liability in the field. The emotional side of him related to his young friend's dilemma, to the compulsion to protect, and the depths of the bonds of friendship. He was, himself, deeply bonded in friendship with the man pleading with him now.

Morgan smiled to himself, remembering a time when he'd considered Reid to be more 'boy' than 'man', to a time when it had been inconceivable to both of them that Reid would argue to be in the field. But that had been a long time ago, and 'Pretty Boy' and 'Kid' had become terms of endearment, not derision, and Reid had more than proven himself in the field, and gained the respect of his older friend.

Morgan sighed his resignation. "All right. But I need your word that you'll tell me when you need help. I don't have to say it to you, Kid, but I will. JJ's life is going to depend on us being able to focus on her situation. If your condition becomes a distraction, you've got to go to the hospital. No argument."

Relieved, Reid nodded his assent. "I promise."

Not quite satisfied, Morgan added, "Did I mention that you're passing out falls into the category of 'distraction'?"

* * *

Rossi and Prentiss returned to the SUV to share the plan they'd negotiated with the newly created task force.

"Garcia found one other property owned by Linda and her husband, and a second owned by their company. The field office will take one, and we'll take the other. State and local police have a BOLO out for Linda's car, but they don't have a good ID on the other. There are cameras on the parking lot, but they record to a server inside the building, and it's not responding. So, we only have the one vehicle to look for. We'll go to the properties and the police will be on rapid response standby for us if we find anything at either of the locations."

Reid was anxious to leave. "Which one are we taking?"

Emily surprised him. "I thought I would run it by you, first. Between the two, where do you think they might have taken her?"

The genius profiler began deliberating aloud. "They would probably know their own property best. That would make them more comfortable there. Unless….do we know when they acquired each of the properties? It might be that they'll be more familiar with the area where they've owned the longest."

Morgan pulled Garcia up on his phone, and put her on speaker.

"OMG, this is so déjà vu! Just like old times! What can I do for you, my favorite ex-profiler?"

Morgan shook his head, a smile on his face.

"I see nothing has changed in my absence."

"Au contraire! Everything has changed, except my love for you. Purely platonic of course."

"Uh…Garcia?" Reid wanted to get down to business.

"Oh, my sweet genius, I heard you were injured!"

"I'm fine. I was just wondering if we could find out when our unsubs acquired those two properties." Then, as another thought occurred to him, "And if there are any other names on the contracts."

"Bien sur, my sweet!"

They heard the clickety-clack of Garcia's fingers flying across her keyboard, followed by an exclamation.

"You are a genius to the very end, Dr. Reid. There _is _a third person, on both contracts, same guy, Bert Landing."

The team on the other end of the call all exchanged looks, as Rossi made the formal request.

"See what you can find on Mr. Landing, please."

"Already underway, should have something in a sec."

Very shortly, they heard the sound of an alert, and then Garcia's voice again. "Aha! Okay, Bertie has had a wee problem with embezzlement in his prior business, as in prior to the four years he did in state prison. He's got those two properties and…yes, and a third one, about an hour from where you are. Looks like a hunting cabin."

Four sets of eyes met. A hunting cabin would be remote, and isolated. The ideal spot for doing someone harm without being heard.

Emily gave the order.

"Send us the location, Garcia….we're heading there."


	17. Chapter 17

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 17**_

Morgan was sorry he'd volunteered to drive, because it limited his ability to keep an eye on his erstwhile little brother. He hadn't exactly been sworn to secrecy, but the exchange he'd had with Reid, the one where he'd acknowledged the solemn bonds of friendship, both between himself and Reid, and between Reid and JJ, made it feel that way. He comforted himself with the fact that Reid's being injured was already known to both of their other companions.

_They just don't know how badly._

So he had to satisfy himself with an occasional glance in the rear view mirror, and an attempt to differentiate the frown of worry on his friend's face from the frown of pain. Failing in that attempt.

Their GPS would take them only so far in reaching the hunting cabin. Garcia would have to direct them once they went off road, pinging their cell phones to lead them to the remote location. Using satellite images, she'd spotted what looked like a dirt road leading part way into the woods, but it disappeared into a copse of trees, still some distance from the coordinates of the cabin. It was possible they would have to navigate between trees and across ravines.

The occupants of the vehicle were largely silent, each mind divided between its focus on their mission, and trying to process the absurdity of possibly losing one of their own on the last day of the unit's existence. One occupant was also focused on staying conscious, alternating a quiet Valsalva maneuver to keep blood flowing to his brain, with a deep breathing exercise to promote oxygenation and to keep him calm enough to function. It wasn't lost on him that they were acting on a hunch. What if they were wrong?

Morgan decided an inquiry wouldn't exactly break confidentiality.

"How you doing back there, Pretty Boy?"

"Fine."

Something about the quality of Reid's voice, or maybe just the dismissive rapidity with which he'd answered, struck Rossi, who gave a sideways look at the young man next to him in the back seat.

"That didn't sound so fine."

Reid was too exhausted to express the frustration and annoyance he felt.

"I'm injured. You already know that. I just…I'll be fine, once we get JJ."

Morgan tried to assure him. "We're just turning off the highway now. We'll be at the dirt road in a few. Can somebody get Garcia up?"

Emily did so. That Garcia responded without her usual banter told all of them that their tech analyst was a bit unnerved by the situation, too.

"I'm here! And you're …..there! Okay, I've got you on Emily's phone. Here's one thing, though….I think the cabin might be just out of cell range, so we may lose each other."

"Just do your best to keep us posted on the general direction, PG," directed Emily. "We didn't have time to wait for the locals to find us a sat phone."

The communication dilemma struck Reid. Not for the first time during this ordeal, he was brought back to the case in Georgia, the one that had left him and JJ alone, on their own, because of a lack of cell service. The one that had taken _him_ deep into the woods, to another hunting cabin. The images that flashed into his mind virtually brought him to his knees.

_Don't do that to her. I don't even believe in You. But she does. So, if I'm wrong and You're out there, and if You care about her, do not abandon her! Do not put her through what I went through! _

Trying desperately not to visualize what might be happening to her, as he'd done even back then, when he'd not known her fate. Trying to replace the intrusive images with an image of her being saved, whole, intact, still JJ.

But the sensory similarities were too strong, and he flashed once again back to Georgia, to the smell of the woods, and the dappled light of the moon shining through the leaves. To the sound of the voices of his would-be rescuers shouting his name, to seeing the brilliance of a flashlight slicing through the darkness.

He'd been saved, that day. Physically.

_But not emotionally. Not at my core. I didn't come out of those woods as the same person who entered them. I was changed._

In so many ways. His innocence. His self-image. His integrity. So much of what had been Spencer Reid had been left on the floor of a forest, and in the reeking innards of a hunting cabin. He would never again recapture that innocence, and his self-image had become irrevocably changed. But he had managed to shed the skin of addiction, and find his core of integrity once again.

Not everything was like Georgia. It was midday, today. It was sunlight, not moonlight, that was filtered by the canopy of trees above. There would be little need for flashlights, as they looked for her. As they listened...

Maybe it was his impaired state of consciousness, or his anxiety. Or maybe it was memory, and instinct. Whatever brought it about, Reid was suddenly flooded with a certainty.

"She's not in the cabin."

Emily half turned from the front seat, reluctant to move her eyes away from the tree-studded landscape in front of them.

"What did you say?"

"She's not in the cabin. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. She's not in the cabin."

_Just like I wasn't in the cabin, when they came for me. She's somewhere in the woods. _

Morgan was too intent on not driving into something to respond to him. But he began to rethink his decision to bring Reid along. _He's not thinking straight._

Emily probed, concerned for her agent's lack of logic. _He's got to be in worse shape than he's been letting on._

"Reid, if she's not in the cabin, she could be anywhere. We have to look, it's the only lead we have!"

He acknowledged the truth of it with a nod. They had to look. If she wasn't there, she could be anywhere. She could even be at either of the two properties they'd left other teams to explore.

_She could be anywhere. But she could also be somewhere. Out there. Alone. Digging…._

The SUV passed through a deep ravine and jarred all of them. It was enough to bring Reid back from his flashback….and enough for him to feel another surge of wetness into the material covering his thigh. But he couldn't afford to distract the others from their mission. He couldn't even afford to distract himself.

* * *

Much later, Garcia would tell them that they'd traveled a mere three miles through the rough terrain, but in the moment, to all of them, it seemed more like twenty. Her voice began to break up as they traveled deeper into the woods, and they thought they'd lost her altogether a time or two, only to hear her increasingly frantic tone come once again over the phone. Penelope Garcia was frightened for her best female friend, and this threatened loss of contact with the rest of her team was bringing her back to her own tragic memory, of the devastating Scratch-manufactured accident that had cost the life of one of their number.

As they neared the cabin, Morgan cut the lights of the SUV, not wanting to give their adversaries advance warning. But that made the going much slower, as even the daylight was brought to near darkness by the overhanging foliage of the trees. The last stretch of distance was crossed in agonizingly slow fashion.

"Let me out!"

Morgan threw a look over his shoulder to Reid. "What?"

"Let me out. I can't exactly storm the cabin with you. Let me out, and I can surveil the area while you go in."

It was the best argument he could give them. And it seemed so much more logical….and sane…than the one going on inside his head. He'd convinced himself that JJ wasn't in the cabin, but he had no idea why he felt so adamantly about it. His logical self knew it made no sense to base his conviction on what had happened to him, when he'd been taken. But his emotional self simply couldn't let it go. Was his intelligence succumbing to his injured state? Or was he responding to something deeper? Something happening on another plane entirely?

Regardless, his argument resonated with his colleagues...or maybe they'd all just become too wary of his mental state to want him anywhere near a potential firefight. At a word from Emily, Morgan stopped the SUV to discharge its insistent passenger. Fortunately, the EMTs had outfitted Reid with a legitimate pair of crutches, so he could hope to accomplish some amount of equilibrium on the uneven forest floor.

Emily hissed instructions at him, as she passed him her phone. "Find some cover and stay there! Tell Garcia to conference you in with us." Having realized, too late, that Reid hadn't been outfitted with a field communications set.

"I will! Good luck!"

"Luck's got nothing to do with it, Kid."

Reid gave a small grin, in spite of everything. "Okay, go break down a door. Just remember who might be on the other side of it."

"We'll take care of her, my young friend," assured Rossi. "You make sure you take care of you."

With that, the SUV moved on, and Reid hobbled over to where it seemed three trees had coalesced to form one very wide trunk. He rested his crutches against one of them, keeping them upright in case he should need them in a hurry. Then he fitted himself between the other two trunks, leaning forward into the indentation. He dutifully called Garcia, who answered him anxiously.

"Reid? Is that you? What happened to Emily?"

"She gave me her phone. Emily's still in the SUV."

"Wait….are you saying you're not with her? You separated from them?"

Sounding frightened by the idea, until he explained what he was doing.

"Okay, okay, I get it. But I can't conference you in, because I've lost them! What happened to them?!"

In the relative darkness, Reid could only barely make out the shape of the SUV. But it was there, and it was still moving.

"They're okay. The cell service was getting spotty. They must have gone out of range."

Which meant he was the only one who could communicate with Garcia. But he couldn't communicate with his teammates.

"That's what I was afraid of! OMG, I wish I had ordered those sat phones! That's what I'm going to do, I'm going to order all of you sat phones for next time!"

Reid heard the tone of guilt in Garcia's voice, and tried to alleviate it. "Sat phones might not work in a heavily treed area either, Garcia. I don't think you need to order them."

Not mentioning that there would be no 'next time'.

The BAU's computer maven was still bemoaning her lack of communication with the others when Reid heard a 'ping' sound on the far end of the call.

"Is that them, Garcia? Maybe they're not completely out of range."

"Oh, thank God! I …..wait, did you say they were still headed toward the cabin?"

"Yes. I can barely see them now, though."

"But…I don't…OMG!"

"What? Garcia, what?"

"It's you! I mean, it's your phone! That's what's pinging! It's your phone!"

"My…..JJ has my phone!" Grabbing his crutches, even before forming an idea. "Where is she?"

"It looks like she's about eighty yards southeast of where you are."

"Back toward the highway?"

"Not straight out, but yes, back toward the highway! That's probably the only reason I can hear her."

"Is she trying to talk to you?" Praying for an affirmative answer, evidence that his best friend was still alive.

"It's not a call….I just had the GPS tracker on it. I know we thought it was dead, but I couldn't give up on my girl! She must have just turned it on!"

Reid was overwhelmed with emotion. He might not be able to hear her voice, but she was alive, and she'd had the presence of mind to make herself known. She was reaching out, in the only way available to her.

_And I'm damn well going to reach back._

He couldn't contact the others with the phone, nor did he have breath enough to shout across the distance to them. He also couldn't be sure that none of the felons were present in the cabin, and he didn't want to endanger his friends. So he had to hope that they would be able to quickly clear the site, and then move back into cell range, where Garcia could brief them.

He thought about all of these things as he made his way through the woods, heading in the direction he'd been pointed by Garcia. Heading to a possible confrontation with their unsubs.

Heading, the God-he-didn't-believe-in willing, to save the life of his best friend.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 18**_

The crutches evoked a muscle memory in Reid's upper arms, which had managed to get him where he needed to go for far too many months, once upon a time…but that had been ten years ago. He might have been in better shape overall these days, but he was still vulnerable to pain, and sleeplessness, and volume depletion. The eighty yards that a healthy Spencer Reid might have covered in a minute or two might as well have been eighty miles, for the impaired version.

Each time the supports could find level ground, he thrust himself forward, praying for the next level ground, sometimes having to settle for the precariousness of the uneven, occasionally finding a ravine, and pitching forward onto his chest. Each time it happened, it was harder to pull himself up, and harder to ignore the increasing wetness on his thigh.

_I am NOT going to leave her there, do You hear me? This is NOT going to happen!_

He wasn't about to lose the best friend he'd ever had, one of the two most important people in his life. And he wasn't about to let her suffer what he had.

_She's suffered enough._

Images of what she'd been through in Afghanistan, and then in DC, intermingling with those of the things he'd been through. If he'd had breath enough to realize, he would have noted that his own ordeal was being mentally represented by his memories of Georgia, and his memories of Milburn, and his memories of the echoing sound of a gunshot, in a loft somewhere in DC. Remembering it later, he would not be surprised at the intermingling of the three episodes of trauma. They had, after all, been the three most defining moments of his life. And JJ had been there at the end, for each of them. He was determined that he would be there, at the end, for her.

* * *

"She's not here!"

At Morgan's words, Emily flashed back to a cabin in the Georgia woods, to another time when the object of their search hadn't been where they'd expected. She hadn't known Reid all that well, back then, but she'd felt the urgency of finding a team member, and she'd felt the pain of each non-captive member of her team. This time, she shared that latter pain. And, to her surprise, she suddenly shared an insight.

"Reid was right! She's got to be in the woods!"

Somehow not realizing that he'd never actually verbalized that part of his belief. Not realizing that she had been pointed in a direction, nor how.

Rossi felt himself being carried along on the same wave of emotion, but either because he hadn't been in Georgia, or because he was too practiced in their enterprise to be carried away, he held the practical ground.

"We don't know that! We don't know where she is!"

He'd shouted the words as all three profilers ran back to their SUV. Once inside, Morgan turned the vehicle to head back to the spot where they'd dropped Reid, while Emily tried to raise their colleague, using Morgan's phone.

"Reid? Reid!" Yelling into the phone, despite the visible fact that the call hadn't gone through. She tried Penelope Garcia next.

"Garcia? She's not there! JJ's not in the cabin! Tell Reid we're on our way back to pick him up!"

There was a few seconds' delay, followed by, "Emily? I mean, Unit Chief Prentiss? Are you there?"

"We're here, Penelope! We need you to direct us back to Reid. Are you on with him?"

"Um….yes. Yes, I'm on with him….but he's not where he was. He went after JJ!"

"He went….what do you mean?!"

Emily exchanged looks of astonishment and frustration with her colleagues in the SUV, as Morgan rolled the vehicle to a stop. All three listened in, as Emily put Garcia on speaker.

"He went to save JJ! He told me to fill you guys in, as soon as you were in range!"

Demonstrating why she'd been made unit chief, Emily Prentiss plowed right through all of the astonishment and frustration, and got to the point.

"Where, Garcia? Which way did he go?"

Their tech analyst quickly sent the coordinates to the cell phones of the three in the SUV, and followed Morgan's directing of the vehicle.

"No, just….about twenty degrees southwest, and ….yes, you're on his path!"

Following the pinging of Emily's cell phone, carried by Reid, and Morgan's, in the SUV.

"He's about fifty yards….maybe a little less…. ahead of you. You should be able to catch up with him."

Except that they couldn't, on wheels. The forest had considerably thickened before them, and would no longer permit the use of the SUV. The three remaining would have to hoof it, as had their colleague preceding them.

"Point us, Garcia!' commanded her unit chief.

"I need whoever Is holding the phone to move, so I can see. Derek, is that you?"

"You know it, Baby Girl. This is my best guess at twenty degrees southwest. Am I good?"

Studying the image on her GPS screen, the tech analyst assessed the direction of her own best friend in the world and watched it alter its direction, just a little bit.

"Just…Yes! How did you know? I didn't even get a chance to say it! I was just thinking, really loudly, turn, Derek, five degrees….and you did it!"

The former profiler humored his long time best friend.

"Old habits die hard, Miss PG."

Rossi interjected, "Let's make sure it's only old habits that are dying today. We need a plan here."

Prentiss agreed. "Reid can't be that far ahead of us, and he's smart enough not to just plow in there alone unless he absolutely has to." Exchanging a grave look with her comrades. If Reid 'absolutely had to', it would mean that he thought JJ was in mortal danger "Garcia, he's still got my phone. Can you get us near him?"

"Can't you see him? He's only like fifty feet away from you!"

All three profilers on the far end of the call made a visual search of their surroundings, but were unable to see any sign of either of their injured colleagues.

"Kid's so skinny he can hide behind any one of these trees," observed Morgan.

"Text him, Garcia," ordered her unit chief.

"I've _been_ texting him! He's not answering!"

Emily trusted Penelope Garcia completely. Still, it was worth stating the obvious.

"Are you texting to my phone, or his?"

"Both! Neither of them are answering! JJ's phone…..I mean, Reid's phone….is still only pinging GPS. And your phone…..by which I mean my Sweet Genius….isn't responding, either!"

The profilers conferred on what that might mean.

"He could have fallen again, or dropped the phone," offered Rossi.

"Or he could have passed out," added Morgan, before he could stop himself.

Emily caught it immediately. "Why would he pass out? Was his head injury that bad?"

Derek Morgan issued a silent apology to one long time friend as he fessed up to another.

"His leg injury. The wound is deep, and he's bleeding. He said he thinks he'll need surgery."

"Derek! Why didn't you tell me?"

Morgan stared into the familiar brown eyes. "Would you have let him come?"

"No! I would have sent him..… oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'."

Rossi understood both positions, better than either of them would ever know. He hadn't, after all, shared _all_ of his stories in his books.

"Yes, he was wrong, and yes, he was right. No point in arguing the case now. Let's find him, and JJ, and get the hell out of here."

* * *

Fifty feet away, the cell phone in his vest pocket as he used his hands to lean on his crutches, Spencer Reid could neither see nor hear his approaching colleagues. But he could see the one he was most frightened for.

JJ lay on her side, immobile on the ground, her face largely covered by the blonde hair that had fallen across it. Her eyes were hidden from him, and that, more than anything else, had his pulse racing. He'd fallen into those eyes more times than even his keen intellect could count, finding solace, and encouragement, and sorrow, and love. But all he really wanted to see in them, this minute, was life.

Reid's pulse had already been racing, from both blood loss and the effort of making his way here. Now it skyrocketed with worry over the condition of his best friend. She hadn't moved at all in the two minutes he'd been watching her.

_But she had to have triggered the phone, right? It didn't just turn itself on. That had to have been JJ!_

Or maybe it hadn't been. Maybe the phone had been found by their unsubs. Maybe they'd triggered the signal to draw the other agents in. Reid tried to run the scenarios, but his brain wouldn't quite cooperate.

_There are only three of them. They couldn't hope to take on the FBI. Or maybe they only wanted to take me on. Or Emily…yes, Emily! An FBI Unit Chief! That would be even more attractive to Linda than an SSA!_

Had that been the plan all along? Had their victim-come-felon been using JJ as bait?

_She's not that bright, is she? No, she's not, she couldn't be. This was a crime of opportunity. She had no way to know we would end the case by running an errand for her. She took JJ because she could, that's all._

Which meant, please God, that it had to have been JJ who had turned on the phone.

_Please God. _

Because the JJ he was looking at now didn't seem capable of turning on anything. Didn't seem capable of moving. Didn't seem….

He didn't realize how distracted he'd allowed himself to become until the hand was already over his mouth. Reid dropped his crutches and flailed, trying to break away from his assailant.

"Kid!" came the coarse whisper, "It's me!"

Morgan held his hand over the mouth of his friend until he could be assured that there wouldn't be a sound issuing from it. His other arm, wrapped around Reid's chest, felt the unsteadiness of his younger friend and tried to right it, even as his body felt the weakness in the younger man's own, leaning so heavily against him.

"Morgan!" Also whispered, though his widened eyes spoke an amplified message. Reid gathered himself quickly enough to inform the others. "JJ's there! But she's not moving!"

Coming up to Reid's position, each of them could see what he'd seen. JJ, lying still, and bound. Her captors just out of sight, but audible, presumably at the far end of the clearing.

"What are they saying?" Rossi couldn't quite make it out.

Emily put her finger in front of her lips, making the universal call for silence. All of them did their best to listen.

"She's FBI! They called the feds out for the others, and they were nobodys! Can you imagine what they would do for an agent?" From a male voice.

Responded to by the voice they all knew as Linda's. "You think we can let her go and they'll just forgive and forget? You fool! No, we've come this far, we're going to finish the job. Unless you'd like to be finished yourself?"

Morgan couldn't restrain a comment. "She's thinking she's got the other one under her control, if she's threatening the third."

The others nodded in agreement, even as they all watched their companion, begging for a sign of life.

Emily spoke the obvious. "If they're debating letting her go, they can't have hurt her too badly. Maybe she's playing possum."

Reid so hoped Emily was right. But he couldn't live with assumptions. He had to know. Thankful to his 187 IQ points, he split his attention between listening to the conversation among the unsubs, and the direction of a concentrated gaze toward the still form of his best friend.

_I'm here. Can you feel me? I'm here. And I'm not leaving without you. None of us are. _

He'd told her that they would have time. He'd virtually promised her that there would be time to unravel their past, and who they'd become to one another, and their present, and what had transpired between them, and their future, whatever it might hold, both together and apart. He wasn't about to abandon that promise.

Reid kept his gaze fixated on the blonde hair, and his image of the face that lay beneath it. His eyes presented him the form lying on the ground, but his mind presented him a thousand smiles, and frowns, and grimaces, and tears. Only for him. He'd been the only one she'd shown her tears.

_JJ! Please, JJ! Look at me!_

They all heard the unsubs continue to argue among themselves, Linda insisting upon 'finishing the job', and her unseen subordinate pleading to let the FBI agent go.

"Just leave her here! If they find her, it's just kidnapping. And, if they don't…..well, at least it's not murder!"

"You fool! You think if we just leave her here to die, they'll be forgiving?! Once we took her, we were committed. And, once committed, we may as well enjoy ourselves."

Both Reid and Emily shivered at the words, even knowing that they would never allow the trio to hurt someone they cared about so deeply. But they couldn't know what might already have been done to her.

Reid swallowed down bile that wanted to rise at the very thought of JJ having been violated. She was fully clothed right now, which gave him some hope that there had not been purposeful torture or sexual assault. But that didn't mean they hadn't hurt her at all. Why else would she be lying there?

His gaze hadn't wavered for many minutes. Looking back, he would wonder if he had even blinked. But he could still hear the unsubs talking. And then he saw movement, and heard the sound of a woman's voice.

"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, or ever. But I know that I'm going to have some fun today."

The amplitude of the sound indicated that Linda was moving as she was speaking, and soon enough, she was in view. Holding a branding iron, moving ever closer to JJ.

"You're mine now, Bitch!"

Reid kept his eyes locked on the head of his best friend, but Prentiss and Rossi exchanged a glance. They'd thought the branded 'B' found on the other victims had stood for Barry, their apprehended unsub.

"The 'B' was for 'Bitch'," observed Rossi, who had long since learned to state the obvious, in case it was only obvious to him.

Reid grabbed for his crutches, intent on making sure Linda never got close to JJ. But Morgan pulled them away.

"We'll take care of it, Kid. I don't want you getting caught in the cross fire."

Which was precisely the problem. When they hadn't been able to see the unsubs, they'd had no idea whether one might have a weapon trained on their captured colleague. Now, Linda had moved into view, followed by her husband, who carried a gun in his hand. If the BAU went in with guns blazing, there was no guarantee JJ wouldn't pay the unintended price.

Reid sent forth yet another silent summons. _JJ! Don't give up! We're here! I'm here! Show me that you know!_

Later, he would wonder if it had happened as he remembered, or if his mind had conjured a fantastical memory for him. But, just as he was about to involve the heavens in his plea once again, there was a movement. Just the slightest movement, but it was enough to make the hair fall away from her eyes, and he could see her! Could see her eyes, which were blessedly open, and blue, and intelligent, and loving, and..

Without consulting with his colleagues….without even consulting with his own mind, if he was honest….Reid pulled away from Morgan, and moved just a few feet closer, to a space between the branches of a bush.

And it was enough. As though she'd noticed the movement, JJ's eyes blinked in a rhythmic pattern, and Reid was sure that she'd seen him.

While the others concocted a plan to storm the clearing, Reid kept his eyes riveted on JJ's, inexplicably convinced that he could communicate with her. Not so inexplicably, when their gazes caught, and held, and reassured, and instructed.

_Roll! Now!_

Which she did, just as the three mobile profilers ran into the clearing, guns at the ready, shouted voices issuing commands. Gunfire flew in both directions, a stray bullet winging Rossi's left arm. Reid swung in behind his comrades, passing right through the clearing, and into the underbrush where JJ had obediently sought cover. Finding her, he threw off his crutches, and laid himself over her, her shield in a twisted crusade.

They exchanged no words until the brief firefight was over, and they could hear the sound of their colleagues calling for them.

"Here!" shouted Reid. "We're okay!"

Then, more softly, to JJ, as he rolled off her, and removed the duct tape from her mouth.

"We are, aren't we?"


	19. Chapter 19

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 19**_

"JJ? _Are_ you all right?"

Even as he heard himself saying the words, he realized the ridiculousness of them. Of course she wasn't all right. Neither of them were. What he was really asking was the thing about which he feared hearing her answer.

_What else have you been through? What did she do to you?_

She was still having trouble righting herself, and he wasn't faring much better. Leaving Morgan and Rossi to deal with the unsubs, Emily ran over to help both of her injured colleagues. She helped JJ to a sitting position, and started her own inquiry, as she worked at freeing the binding from JJ's wrists.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Reid struggled to his knees, and then realized it was putting more pressure on his thigh. He went for a sitting position himself, anxiously waiting to hear JJ's answer to Emily's question.

"Just this…" Waving a circle in front of her face, which both other profilers could now see was bruised and abraded.

Her hands finally free, JJ began gingerly touching at her face, but Emily pushed her hands away.

"Let me." Feeling along JJ's jaw, and cheekbones, and orbits. Then squeezing her skull, and checking her ears, front and back. "I don't feel anything broken. But you're going to have one hell of a shiner."

In another circumstance, they might have chuckled at that. But it didn't feel like there was anything humorous about this situation, in no small part because of the look on Reid's face.

"What?"

Emily didn't understand the concern she saw etched into his features. They'd gotten both of their agents back, and they would close out the Behavioral Analysis Unit in a worthy way. What was there to be so worried about?

Reid gestured toward the place where his gaze was fixated. "Your hands. What happened to your hands?"

JJ looked down at the relevant appendages in a detached way, as though they weren't a part of her body. Her eyes took in what Reid's had. Her hands were covered in dirt, and the remnants of moldy leaves. The red streak was no longer visible under the filth.

"I…"

"JJ."

"They…she… Linda. She thought I would run, if they walked me through the woods. And she was right, I would have. So…..so, she made me crawl."

Emily's brows went up. "They made you crawl from the cabin to here? But how…"

JJ knew what she was asking. "My hands were free. She had me at gunpoint. They didn't bind me again until we got here. I think she wanted to.."

JJ shivered a thought away, and it was enough for Reid to know.

_She wanted to watch them have their way with you, while you were helpless. That would have been the ultimate pleasure of dominance for her._

He had trouble tamping down his anger, but he won control long enough to verify it.

"You said 'she wanted to'. Does that mean it didn't happen?"

Holding his breath until she responded. He was already irate enough, about what their unsubs had succeeded in doing to her. If he found out that she'd been subjected to a sexual assault as well, he wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself. Spencer Reid had only ever taken a kill shot when he, or one of his own had been in danger. This day, he thought he might also be capable of taking one as an act of vengeance.

JJ shook her head. "It didn't. You came before it could happen, thank God."

Reid silently echoed her words, thanking God for having spared her that one thing, and for having saved him from his vengeful condemnation. But his relief was short-lived, when his brain brought him back to his original concern. JJ's hands were covered in filth. What had already been an infected wound might now have become a potentially lethal one.

"We need to get you to the hospital, right away." Pushing up, and trying to help her to her feet, and nearly falling over in the process. JJ reflexively reached out a hand to steady him, and instantly winced.

Emily was concerned about both of her old friends.

"I think you meant to say that we need to get _both_ of you to the hospital right away, right?"

By now, all of their unsubs were either wounded or restrained, or both, and Rossi had called for backup. At a signal from Emily, he summoned an additional ambulance for their colleagues, and then accompanied Morgan in moving over to join the small group.

"You okay?" His words directed toward JJ, but it was Reid who answered.

"Her wound was already infected and now it's been contaminated by soil pathogens and mold. She needs antibiotics immediately!"

He'd become vehement in declaring the emergency, and it seemed to drain the last ounce of strength in him. Once again, Reid swayed on his feet. But, this time, even with three sets of hands reaching out to him, he fell heavily to the ground, no longer conscious enough to hear the frightened cry of his good friend.

"Kid!"

* * *

"Hey, Kid."

Spencer Reid had stirred enough to provoke a response from the man sitting at his bedside, but only just. As he slowly came back to alertness, Reid sensed, rather than saw, where he was. He could feel the tape and tubing of his IV, and the various electrodes attached to his chest and limbs. It was a far cry from the place, and the situation, he'd been visiting in his subconscious just seconds ago, and he had trouble deciding which was real. But he had no trouble at all in deciding which he _wished_ was real. Because his current environment wasn't anywhere near as sweet as the one he'd just bid adieu.

_I'm in a hospital. And someone is with me._

Something about the words he'd heard, and the voice that had spoken them, seemed familiar. Eerily familiar. Deja vu type familiar, making it even more difficult for Reid to orient himself. His eyes blinked repeatedly, but couldn't focus. His ears…..his ears had just brought him back eleven years, to another hospital, and another bedside chat. Or maybe…

_Is this then? Am I just now waking up? Have I dreamt everything else?_

Not at all certain if he wished _that_ were true, or not.

As the anesthesia continued to wear off, Reid's synapses began to fire, one after another, with increasing rapidity. As they did, his brain began to fill in the gap in time from that prior hospital room, to this one. It sent him mental images of the past eleven years, of things that had happened, and things that had not. Things wished for, and lost. People wished for, and lost. People cared for, and hurt. Aspirations. Dreams. Wishes. Disappointments. Anxieties. Anticipations. Laughter, and tears. Pain, and joy. Sorrow, and hope.

The voice sounded again. "Kid, you in there?"

Another set of synapses fired, and Reid turned his head in the direction from which the voice had come.

"Morgan?" His throat sounding the ache of intubation.

"Yeah, it's me. You know, Pretty Boy, I never thought I'd be sitting next to you in a hospital bed like this again."

Reid was still slow on the uptake, and it took him a few seconds to respond.

"Again?"

_This isn't a dream? It wasn't a dream, all of it? _

If that was true, Maeve had been real, and was gone. Gideon was gone. Emily was….

_Wait…Emily….she's here, she's still here! And JJ…_

"Where's JJ?"

"What, I don't even get a hello? She's okay, Kid. Or she will be. They think she'll be out of the ICU by tomorrow."

Apparently his long term memory had come back more quickly than his short term. It took Reid a full minute to process what Morgan had just told him.

_JJ's in the hospital. In the ICU? What…what….oh. An explosion. She was hurt. Wait, is that why I'm here?_

He looked helplessly into the eyes of the man to whom he'd entrusted his life on more than one occasion, and asked about the state of it.

"What happened?"

* * *

Ever so slowly, Reid absorbed the events of the past few days, as far as Morgan knew them. With the gaps filled in, Reid's memory began to provide him with all of the things Morgan couldn't know. The pain, the cold, the darkness, the fear for one another, the acts of courage, and love. Especially the love.

Once the process reached critical minimum, his memory came flooding back, and Reid started to become agitated, worried beyond reason about what was happening with his best friend.

"Why is she in the ICU? I need to see her!"

Derek Morgan had long ago developed a surprising affection for his junior colleague. Along the way, that affection had become intertwined with a deep respect, and an unexpected, brotherly bond. All three activated at seeing the distress of his friend.

"Whoa, calm down now, Pretty Boy. She's gonna be all right. In fact, Emily is…"

A light knock on the jamb of the open door announced the arrival of the unit chief.

"I just came from seeing her. She gave them that little scare last night, but it looks like the antibiotics have kicked in, and her blood pressure is coming back up."

Even an incapacitated Spencer Reid knew which words to focus on.

"What happened to her blood pressure? Was she septic? Is she now?"

Emily came over to the bed and laid what she hoped would feel like a reassuring hand on his arm. She had known him too long, and too well, to give him anything but the truth. Before she spoke again, she looked at him long enough to win his gaze, telegraphing the sincerity of her words.

"The doctors think she's going to be okay. I don't know all of the technicalities, so I can't answer all of your questions. What I know is that her blood pressure fell very low late yesterday, and they were worried about her. But it's coming back up today, and they don't seem as worried. They think they have the right antibiotic now."

Reid opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted when a nurse rushed into his room.

"Dr. Reid, how do you feel? Are you lightheaded? Dizzy?"

Checking his monitor, and then his bandages, and taking his pulse by hand. Seeing the look of confusion on her patient's face, she explained, "Your heart rate just went up thirty beats a minute. I was worried you were bleeding out!"

While the nurse assured herself that her patient hadn't taken a turn for the worse, Emily offered an apologetic explanation.

"We were telling Dr. Reid about Agent Jareau, and he got a little worried. That's all it was."

The nurse raised one eyebrow. "Thirty beats per minute is more than 'a little worried'. Are you sure you're up to visitors, Dr. Reid?"

The BAU genius decided it was worth a shot. "I think I'd probably feel a little better if I could see Agent Jareau for myself."

His experienced caregiver wasn't falling for it. "Nice try. But you are most definitely not ready to be out of bed. The surgeons will have to clear you before you can even be upright. Two surgeries are nothing to sneeze at."

Reid's eyes narrowed. "Two surgeries?"

Emily exchanged a look with Morgan, who advised, "He's having trouble remembering everything right now."

The BAU Unit Chief examined the man who had long ago claimed a very unique place in her heart. As the agent in charge, she'd been made aware of the medical staff's concerns about what his hypovolemic shock might have done to his brain. Now, she could only wonder, in dread, if she was seeing the consequences.

_Please, God, not on our very last case! Please don't let him have lost anything! I would miss even one of those 187 IQ points!_

Doing her best to mask her concern, Emily filled him on the events of the previous days.

"You probably don't remember it, but you passed out right after you saved JJ." Making a point of her phrasing, and attribution. "I think you scared all of us to death, and Morgan here was about to start CPR…but we checked your pulse, and it was there. Very, very faint, and you looked as white as a sheet, but it was there."

Morgan took up the tale. "They only sent two ambulances, and two of the unsubs were shot, so they were transported together. We had to do the same for you and JJ, and they wouldn't let anyone else ride with you."

Getting a little riled, all over again, at the memory.

Emily laid a hand of support on Morgan's shoulder. "There wasn't room. At least JJ was with him."

"JJ was scared to death, Princess. Did you see the look in her eyes? She thought we were about to lose him, and so did I."

Reid issued a mental apology to his best friend over what he'd put her through, fervently wishing he could do it in person.

Emily acknowledged the anxiety they'd felt as they'd watched their two friends leave in the ambulance that afternoon.

"It's true, we were all scared. But not as much as that night."

Reid looked back and forth from one friend to the other, anxious to know, but dreading the answer.

"What happened that night?" Then, realizing that he'd lost track, he added, "How many days has it been?"

Another glance exchanged, and this time Reid understood its meaning. "Guys, cut me a break, I was unconscious."

Morgan acknowledged him with a nod. "Two, Kid. The day it happened, they brought you in, and JJ told them what happened, and they barely even examined you before whisking you off to surgery. JJ said they cleaned up her wounds, and did some tests on her, too, and then they started some antibiotics."

Emily took over. "At first, it looked like you were both out of the woods...ha, sorry, I meant that figuratively. But then, things turned. Both of you bottomed out that night, at about the same time. They rushed you back into surgery, and found a tear in a blood vessel that they had missed the first time. You actually went to the ICU for about twelve hours after that, but they let you come out to a regular room late yesterday. JJ…she was doing okay, but then she spiked a fever, and within an hour or so, her blood pressure fell, and she was out."

"That's when they said she was septic," added Morgan. "But they called some specialist, and she told them to change the antibiotics, and it seems like that did the trick."

"They're watching her," concluded Emily, "because her vital signs aren't quite normal yet, but they're on their way."

Reid spent a short time processing, and his thoughts became more troubled by the minute. He'd read about sepsis. Even if the process could be turned around, the fact that someone had been through it could have lasting effects. The emotional side of him wanted to fling his various wires and tubes aside, and run to the ICU. But the practical side of him felt the stiff bandage around his leg, and knew that the most helpful thing he could do for his best friend was not to become a distraction.

_They said she's getting better. Emily wouldn't lie to me about something like that. And whatever happened...or please God, didn't happen...is already decided. There's nothing to be done about it._

Except to send an emissary.

"You should be with her. She shouldn't be alone."

Emily nodded. "I'll go back. But they limit visitation in the ICU, so I thought I'd come and check on my other injured supervisory special agent in the meantime." Giving him an affectionate grin.

He returned it, in muted fashion, then thought to ask about their other missing colleagues.

"Where's the rest of the team? Where's Rossi?"

"The director didn't want to hold up their transfers, since the case is closed here. They've already gone back to Quantico. They said to give you their best, by the way."

"And Rossi?" Knowing that their elder colleague had planned his second retirement to coincide with the closing out of the unit.

"Rossi? Oh. He, uh, he's running an errand."

"An errand?"

"Yes, he had to pick something up for me."

Reid's brow folded into an expression of disbelief.

"You're using David Rossi, founder of the BAU, as an errand boy?"

Upon which that thick, familiar tone was heard coming from the hallway.

"I heard that. And, yes, today I was an errand boy." Standing in the doorway now, and sweeping his hand from outside to in. "And here's my errand."

Spencer Reid's eyes widened, as his heart nearly summoned the nurse once again.

"Hotch!"

Standing closer to the door, and not looking at all surprised, Emily greeted her predecessor with a hug. Morgan followed with a firm handshake and a pat on the back. Then Aaron Hotchner moved in close to Reid's bedside.

"I thought I told you not to make a habit of this," he quipped.

Reid reached out a hand that didn't quite form itself into a handshake, but rather into a grasp, and it drew Hotch into an awkward hug, made so by the various pieces of medical equipment affixed to the younger man's body.

"I can't believe you're here!" Pause. "What _are_ you doing here?" Then, wary, and misreading the situation, he shot an accusatory look at his other colleagues. "JJ's not really all right, is she?"

All three issued simultaneous denials, as Hotch explained.

"I was supposed to be a surprise guest at the farewell party at Rossi's. But, since you're all here, instead of there, and since this is the only time I could get away…"

Rossi finished for him. "We moved the party here. Which means you're going to have to hurry up and heal that leg."

Reid was too knowledgeable about the extent of his injury, and began to issue his apology.

"I don't think…."

The BAU founder waved it away. "Relax, Spencer, it was just an encouragement. I know you're stuck here for a while, and this won't exactly be a party. So," he shrugged, "we'll do it in a few months, and call it a reunion."

"Exactly," agreed Morgan. "And then I can bring Savannah and our little man, and you can teach your little namesake how to do magic."

"Sounds good to me." Emily stood, and looked to her three upright male friends. "I'm going to go and check on JJ again, and then I'm headed to the coffee shop. No, never mind, strike that. After I see about JJ, I'm going in search of a _decent _coffee shop. Anyone want to join me?"

"I'm in!" said Morgan.

"With pleasure," agreed Rossi.

Hotch declined the offer. Reid tried to put in an order, but was reminded that he was on a hospital diet.

It sounded a bell of vague recognition, the emptying of a hospital room to serve a certain purpose, but Reid's foggy brain couldn't quite place it. Still, he was glad of the opportunity to have time alone with the man who had served as a mentor and friend to him, for a very long time. He'd missed Hotch more than he'd admitted, even to himself. So much had happened in his life, since Hotch had last been a part of it, and Reid couldn't help but wonder if it might all have been just a bit more tolerable, with Aaron Hotchner's wise counsel.

The others were permitted to depart only after Emily promised to return immediately if there was any reason for concern about JJ. That left Reid and Hotch alone, sitting in a silence that managed to feel both companionable and weighty at the same time, and neither was quite certain how to break it.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 20**_

It was Hotch who broke the silence between them.

"A lot's happened since I left."

Including the fact of his leaving, and why, and what consequence it had brought to all of the team.

Reid felt the blessedly familiar stare even before he dared to look up.

"Yes."

"Are you all right?" Not really asking about his injury.

Despite the length of their time apart, their cadence of exchange came back to Hotch, and he knew to wait Reid out. Which he did, for three full minutes, while the younger man studied his hands.

"It's been….I've been…I…" Unable to meet his mentor's intense gaze, and unable to articulate all that had happened, Reid was relegated to shaking his head, and offering a weak summary. "I've made a mess of it. I've made a mess of my life."

In the space of those words, Hotch began to rue a decision he'd made several years before, once the threat of Peter Lewis had been lifted, and the ban on exchanging messages along with it. He'd decided, then, to keep his contacts with his former team to a minimum. He'd left under duress, but found a new freedom in a life away from serial killers and the miasma of evil that surrounded them. He'd found a certain joy in the ability to be fully present to his son, and he'd rediscovered the many pleasures he'd sacrificed from his life while with the BAU. Even though it had been offered to him, he'd declined the opportunity to return to the work that had cost him so much in his life.

He'd declined, and kept himself separate, respectful of Emily Prentiss and the fact that she had just stepped into a situation that would have intimidated most people. But, unlike most people, Aaron Hotchner had a great respect for Emily, and a true affection, and he knew instinctively that he could best support her by staying away. He would let her build her team in the way that best suited her talents, and those of the members currently comprising it.

But now, he wondered if he hadn't failed to factor in some critical things. Maybe he'd underestimated his role in their lives. Maybe he'd been too bent on convincing himself about their strengths, and how well they could do without him, and not focused enough on how much they needed him….needed all of them, really, as a team….for that strength.

He'd known the effects of loss, of course. But he'd known them as Aaron Hotchner, and not as Spencer Reid. Maybe he'd not given enough consideration to that. Maybe he owed the younger man an apology. Or maybe he owed him something more substantial.

Someone else might have reacted to Reid's words by attempting to console him, to assure him that he'd not ruined his life, that any troubles he'd had could not possibly be his fault. But this was Hotch, and he knew better. Reid might not project his ego the way some did, but that didn't mean he didn't own one. He was confident in his intellect and, sadly, he'd been cultivated to see it as his primary contribution to society. Reid wouldn't simply accept another's evaluation of his life, and his choices. He wouldn't simply accept a consolation so reflexively given. No, Reid would have to get there on his own.

But that didn't mean he couldn't be pointed in the right direction. With that thought, Hotch set about making reparation for having left, and not realizing the loss. He pulled a chair up next to the hospital bed, and leaned forward, elbows resting on thighs, intense gaze focused on the occupant of the bed.

"What does that mean, that you've made a mess of your life?"

It sounded like a challenge, and Reid almost felt like he had to defend his characterization. He found himself falling back to his old friend, sarcasm, the bastion of the intelligent mind.

"You mean, besides getting thrown into prison?"

At his own insistence, Hotch had been provided with every known detail about what had happened to Reid. But David Rossi hadn't quite known everything.

"That wasn't your fault."

Reid was quick to parry, evident of the persistence of his feelings of guilt.

"It wasn't the fault of anyone else."

Near-black eyes met hazel.

"Yes, it was. It was the fault of Cat Adams."

Reid shook his head. "She was the catalyst. But my stupidity got me into it in the first place."

"I don't understand." Rossi had been adamant about the female serial killer's role in the scheme.

"You don't understand, because the truth isn't in the facts. Not the whole truth."

Hotch looked his lack of understanding toward his genius friend, as he had many times in the past, and Reid responded.

"I was stupid enough to think I could change the inevitable, and I was even more stupid to try to do it alone." He gave himself a derisive chuckle. "Maybe part of me realized how stupid it was, and my ego wouldn't let me show it."

Hotch's renowned brow furrowed. "Are you talking about trying to help your mother? About going to Mexico?"

Reid had trouble making eye contact. "You must have thought I was an idiot."

"To be honest, I was a little preoccupied at the time. Knowing the team thought it was Scratch, I was concerned that I hadn't hidden Jack well enough."

"Oh, of course! Sorry, I guess I was pretty self-absorbed about it. How is Jack? How are you?"

Hotch was too savvy to be put off by the deflection, but that didn't mean he couldn't respond.

"Jack is great," his dad grinned. "We had an adjustment period, of course. Several of them, considering the ongoing threat. But he's made new friends, and he's doing well in school. He's traded in soccer for track. He finally grew into his legs, and he's running the hurdles."

"Does he see Haley's family?"

"Jessica? Yes, and that's helped him a lot. It's helped both of them, really. Haley's father died last year, and while I think Jess feels the relief of the burden, she also misses him." Pause. "Oh, and I think Jack has a girlfriend."

"Think?"

"He's not sharing. But he's been on his phone almost non-stop, and the last time she visited, he complimented Jessica on her earrings."

Reid made a face. "Maybe he was just being polite."

Hotch returned the look. "I'm a profiler, Reid, even if it's not what I do any more. He was pumping her for information on what she liked when she was a kid."

"Ah. Tough being a teenager with a profiler dad."

"Tougher being the dad of a teenager, period. But he's a good kid, and I'm very lucky with that."

"No luck involved, Hotch. And Haley would be proud, I'm sure."

His older friend gave a small smile of appreciation, and then steered them gently back toward their original topic.

"So, how is your mother?"

Reid colored a bit, aware of the turn.

"She's in and out. You probably saw it with Haley's dad. Some days she remembers me, some days she doesn't. I should have been ready for it, because she's never been all that predictable. But it's different from before."

"How?" Said softly, and without challenge, to draw him out.

Reid studied his fingernails. "When I was a kid, she would get lost into her delusions, or her paranoia. At first, I would be terrified. Well, if I'm honest, I was always terrified. But she always came back, and I learned to trust that she would. That, if I could just get us through the episode, I'd have her back, at least for a while. But now…."

Hotch understood, because he'd lived it, virtually, through Jessica.

"Now you wonder if each lapse will be the permanent one."

Reid looked up at him, heartened at being understood.

"Exactly! I mean, I know she's deteriorating. And I know there will come a time when it's permanent. I guess I just wanted to push it off as long as I could. I….it felt like she'd suffered enough. How could I let her go through this without trying?" Pausing, reflecting in the space of time his friend was giving him. "But maybe I was just being selfish. Maybe it was me who couldn't go through it without trying."

Hotch gave his former colleague an all too familiar look. "It's all right to need things, Spencer."

The use of his first name alerted Reid to the coming intimacy of the conversation. Had it been anyone but Hotch, he might have panicked. But the man sitting at his bedside had served as a stanchion for him far too often not to have earned his trust.

"But I shouldn't have put her through something just for me! I mean, these drugs were still considered experimental. They hadn't even been used in the United States. But I read the articles, and I thought…"

Hotch spoke over him. "You didn't just 'think', Reid."

"What?"

The dark gaze lasered him. "You didn't make a scientifically sound decision, because you weren't functioning as a scientist. You made the decision as a son. Which is what you were…and still are."

"But I caused so much pain…."

Not just to himself. He'd caused his mother the pain of separation, and the terror of being kidnapped. He'd cost his friends the pain of feeling helpless, and the difficulties of working a man down. He'd caused his best friend the burden of caring for his mother, and the witnessing of him at his lowest.

He was brought out of the familiar reverie of self-recrimination by the stern tone of Hotch's assertion.

"It wasn't your going to Mexico that caused any of this, my friend. It was the fact that Cat Adams took advantage of it, to hurt you and everyone else."

"But if I hadn't gone…"

"She was looking for an opportunity, Reid. If she hadn't found that one, she would have found another. There isn't a single one of us who isn't alone at one time or another. You can't be responsible for what she chose to do."

Reid had heard that before, of course. He'd heard it from Emily, and from Rossi. He'd even heard it from Morgan. And it had been a virtually endless loop from JJ. But every time he'd tried to say it to himself, he'd been stymied. Because, if Cat Adams was responsible for what she had chosen to do, then Spencer Reid had to also be responsible for what he had chosen to do. In the safe harbor of this conversation, he confessed as much to the man who had once been his mentor.

"I still have to own the things I did, don't I? She doesn't bear the responsibility for everything that happened to me in prison. And she doesn't bear the responsibility for the choices I made."

Hotch heaved a sigh of relief that doubled as a prayer for guidance. They'd arrived at the place he'd known they would need to get to. He'd heard about it from Rossi, of course, the presumption of what Reid had done to save himself while in prison. But Rossi had been able to share only that, the presumption. Hotch's old friend had advised him that it seemed there was something more. Something known only to the two youngest members of their team, and both of the elder profilers had wondered if their younger colleagues possessed the wisdom to deal with it.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Their relationship had evolved tremendously through the span of their acquaintance. Once upon a time, Hotch had felt saddled by his superior's latest collected thing, an oddity who seemed more a hindrance to his team than a help. But, even before Gideon had left them, Hotch had found reasons to respect the younger man, and sought out ways to nurture his development. Reid had been aware of both phases, and he'd grown with Hotch into the next one, as well. That was the time when Reid had been both physically and emotionally tortured by a serial killer, and saved by the unique connection he'd shared with the man at his bedside.

_That was just the first time he saw me at my lowest. Who knew I could get so much lower?_

But he had, in his own mind, if not in that of his mentor. He'd lapsed, and relapsed, and nearly alienated the entire law enforcement community on one case. Hotch had chastised him, but in a way that had been completely foreign to the young man who had virtually raised himself. Hotch had chastised him with love, and understanding and support. Which was, in no small part, why it had been Hotch he'd reached out to when it had been time to confess his strange relationship with Maeve, and beg for help in finding her.

It was also why he could even consider telling the truth right now. Consider. But he still felt so torn. He didn't want someone he admired so much to see who he really was, even if it was the reality. And then he remembered.

_JJ knows. She doesn't just know, she actually saw me. She saw what I nearly did to Cat Adams. And, unbelievably, she still manages to love me._

Maybe that was the nature of the beast, he thought. Maybe love didn't apply filters, or set criteria. Maybe it just was. Maybe it just offered acceptance, and encouragement, and lifting up.

Having received all three things from the man at his bedside, Reid realized that his relationship with Hotch hadn't simply been built on respect, or need, or admiration. It had also been built on love, and he could have only the one reponse.

"I…I'm, uh…..I'm kind of ashamed of it, Hotch. It wasn't something I would have done if I'd seen any other way."

"Understood."

Reid nodded, accepting the first ounce of forgiveness.

"They'd already killed one of my friends. Not a friend, exactly, but someone I'd made a connection with. And they'd killed him, as a message to me. So I retaliated."

The heavy brow furrowed. "Retaliated? Or were you protecting yourself?"

Reid spoke in earnest. "That's the thing! I was kind of protecting myself. But I….I think I was also seeking vengeance."

"Wasn't that just 'secondary intent'?"

Reid's brows shot up. "Are you quoting Aquinas to me?"

Hotch shrugged, and gave him a small smile. "I had a lot of time to read, before it was safe to apply for a position." Then, sobering, he added, "And I think it applies."

Reid was ready to parry him, unwittingly thrown into the philosophical argument.

"But it matters. That's Aquinas' whole point. Intention matters."

"And your intention was to assure your safety, while imprisoned for a crime you did NOT commit."

He had a point. In truth, he had 'the' point. But Reid was too accustomed to self-recrimination to let it go.

"But.."

"But you succeeded, and no one was seriously injured."

"They had to go to the infirmary."

"From which each of them were released, in under twenty-four hours." Hotch had been well-briefed by Rossi.

The two sat in reflective silence for several minutes, until Reid took another stab at himself, this time without preface.

"I tried to kill Cat Adams."

Their profiling skills kicked in at that, Reid noting the change in microexpression that told him he'd caught Hotch off guard, and Hotch realizing it. It was obvious Rossi hadn't filled him in on everything. The former profiler regained his equilibrium quickly.

"What do you mean?"

"Just that. I thought she'd killed my mother….or that she'd gotten Lyndsey Vaughn to kill her…and I was so angry, I tried to strangle her. Ask JJ, she was there."

"But…"

"But she stopped me. She thought…" His voice catching, with the memory. "She knew I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

In retrospect, Hotch wasn't at all surprised that they'd kept it between them. He'd been well aware of their bond, and even a bit jealous of it.

"So, she stopped you…." Encouraging him to finish the story.

"She stopped me, and she helped me figure it out. It was JJ who helped me realize what Cat wanted me to admit."

"Which was?"

"That I was no different from her. That I could become as depraved as she had."

"Did you? Did you 'admit' it?"

_Do you believe it?_

"I told her what she wanted to hear."

It wasn't enough for Hotch, so he put the unstated into words. "Did you believe what you told her?"

Reid shook his head. "I'm not the same as Cat Adams. I have regret."

Hotch smiled in relief. _You're getting there._

"Yes, you do. But it's not the only difference between you and Cat."

Reid cocked his head. "What else?"

"I believe that's my line. It's for you to say, Reid. What else makes you different from a Cat Adams?"

Objectifying the serial killer.

It wasn't a unique question for the BAU genius. He'd asked it of himself a thousand times, hoping for an answer. He gave Hotch the only one he'd come up with, that seemed to hold water.

"I'll never do it again. I don't just regret it. I've vowed to never allow it to happen again."

They were at the critical point, and Hotch knew it.

"How do you know you can keep that vow?"

Reid was ready. If nothing else, the past few days had solidified it for him.

"Cat doesn't know what love is. None of them do, really. It's the great tragedy of their lives. They're looking for something they can't even recognize. But I can. Thank God, I can. I know love. And that's the difference."


	21. Chapter 21

_**A.N. Short chapter, nearing the end. I had hoped to have this wrapped before the premiere, but life circumstances have intervened, and it no longer looks possible. In case I get nothing else up between now and then, I will extend a wish that you all enjoy the episodes, and that they point to a satisfying ending for our beloved genius and his friends. And, given where we left off, I will encourage you to be mature enough not to participate in bashing (**__**JJ)**__** any of the characters.**_

* * *

_**Commencement**_

_**Chapter 21**_

Anticipating that their time alone might soon come to an end, the two men stepped back from the intimacy of their conversation. Or so they intended.

Hotch sat back in his chair, putting a few inches' more physical distance between himself and Reid.

"So, what are your plans? What will you do when the BAU comes to an end? Dave tells me you have a few offers on the table."

Reid snorted, realizing that Hotch was minimizing. Reid had actually received offers from all of the investigative and intelligence agencies within the federal government, and a few outside agencies as well. He'd even received an offer from DC Metro PD, which would have put him into a working relationship with Will LaMontagne. That was the only one he'd outright dismissed, as simply being too awkward, even if he'd declined to do the internal work to determine why.

"I'm still not sure. I'm not even sure I want to continue profiling."

The dark brows raised. "Really?"

There was a note of investment to his tone, and Reid picked up on it.

"Why? Are you saying that you think I should?"

Hotch regretted having reacted. "No, no, not at all." Shifting position as a means of moving past his faux pas. "What else are you considering?"

Reid studied his old friend. Over their years working together, he'd watched Aaron Hotchner undergo a series of paradoxical changes. Once upon a time he'd come across as grounded and driven, yet gifted with a sense of humor, and a certain mastery over his microexpressions. With time, and tragedy, a pall had descended upon him, an ever-present constriction of those microexpressions, and his macroexpressions, as well, for that matter, each punctuated by the occasional breaking through of righteous impatience, indignance, and anger. He'd become paradoxically both less expressive, and more, at the same time.

Having suffered his own episodes of tragedy, Reid briefly wondered if the same had happened to him. Briefly, because his mind interrupted his reverie with a definitive answer. He _had_ followed the same arc as his mentor. Although already well-scarred by the events of his childhood, Reid had arrived to the BAU with a degree of wide-eyed wonder, both at the nature of the work the team did, and at the fact that he'd become a part of that team. He'd had, for the first time in his life, relationships that weren't defined by a fifty minute class, or a three hour lab. He'd had relationships defined by purpose, and then redefined by connection.

But the events of his life, both within and without the team, had conspired to affect those connections. He'd lost the wonder, become more jaded, more protective of himself, even more protective from the very relationships he'd once held precious. He'd become distanced from the truth that he had still held them precious. Distanced by tragedy, and loss, and shame. He'd held them at arms' length, until they'd grasped his arms, and closed the distance.

"Reid?"

The younger man shook himself out of it.

"Uh….yeah, I don't know. I'm thinking about it. Maybe DHS, actually. The need is more immediate there, and I've got some facility with foreign languages. Or I could teach full time. Although I don't think I'm patient enough when the students aren't following me. I don't know. I've even thought of….have you ever heard of the Innocence Project?"

"Of course. It helps free people who have been wrongly convicted."

"Exactly. I'm thinking of looking into that."

Hotch gave a small smile. "You always _have_ been the champion of the underdog."

Reid returned the expression. "Yeah, well I come by it honestly."

Hotch smiled again. "Well, whatever you choose, I wish you well."

Reid wasn't ready to drop the subject.

"What did you mean, before? When you were surprised that I might not stay in profiling. Why?"

Hotch shook his head, laughing gently to himself. He'd obviously taught his mentee very well.

"Somehow, I have a feeling that you'll never stop profiling, no matter what job you take." Then, realizing that Reid was waiting him out, he continued. "For a long time now….even from before I left the team, I've thought you would make a good successor for me."

The man in the hospital bed was stunned. "Me?"

_Me, the leader of the BAU?_

"Yes, you. I'm not putting down Prentiss, by any means. By everyone's account, she's been very impressive, and she's done so under great duress. I think the team has been in excellent hands. To tell the truth, I suggested that she be called in, when I left."

"So, why…"

"Because I didn't think you were in a good place for it. I knew about your mother's health, and I could see that it was distracting you. But none of that meant that I couldn't see your potential."

"Hotch, I don't think.."

"Hear me out. I know it's a moot thing, but ….well, I also know, without an iota of doubt, that they're heading in the wrong direction. And, should they come to their senses, I'd like to think you'd consider it."

"Leading the BAU?" Incredulity in his voice.

"Yes, leading the BAU. You have the respect of your team, not just for your knowledge, but for your ability to analyze, for your wisdom. And, yes, for your empathy. In fact, I think your empathy frees them to work, because they trust that you'll always pull them back from rushing to judgment."

Reid was awash in emotion. Surprise, at hearing it. Gratitude, at the sincerity of it. Humility, because he didn't think he deserved any of it.

"Hotch…

"I'm serious, Reid. I see true leadership potential in you, and to be honest, that's all you can hope for, is potential. You don't get all the way there until you have to. Trust me, I lived it."

Reid understood him. Hotch had been officially second in command to Gideon, but had taken over, in increments, as Gideon's ability to cope had devolved. Still the younger man couldn't quite adapt to his mentor's image of him.

"Well, all I can say is that it's a good thing the BAU won't be needing a unit chief after this."

As they heard the voices of the others sounding in the hallway, Hotch gave Reid an enigmatic smile.

"What's that they say? 'Don't cross your bridges until you come to them?'"

* * *

His friends had stopped by the ICU on their way back to Reid's room, and Emily had good news to share.

"They said they think she'll be ready to move to a regular room by this afternoon. But I couldn't' extract a promise that you could visit. It sounds like that will be up to you, and your monitors."

Reid was relieved to hear that his beloved best friend was no longer in danger of her life.

"Somehow, I think my heart rate is already dropping back to normal."

Emily smiled at him. "Well, see that it stays there, will you? I'll let you try your own luck at sweet talking them into a visit. The rest of us need to go over to the field office and submit reports. They even want Morgan here to give a 'civilian report'." Looking to her former partner with a smirk.

"Hey, Princess, don't knock it. Civilian life turns out to be pretty liveable."

Rossi chimed in. "Especially when it comes with a wife and kid, right, Derek?"

The irony was lost on none of them. Morgan had both a wife and child, and now, so had Rossi, but in a most convoluted kind of way.

As they made for he door, Reid bid a temporary adieu to his male companions, but motioned to Emily to stay behind. Once the others had left, he spoke to her.

"I just wanted to thank you."

Emily misunderstood, thinking he was referencing the case.

"It's okay. You didn't actually give me much of a choice, but I get it. I would probably have done the same thing."

"No, that's not what I meant. Well, all right, that, too. Thank you for finding us, and thank you for not sending me to the hospital before we found JJ."

"You're welcome." Smiling, and turning to leave.

"No, don't go!" Waiting until she turned around again. "What I wanted to say was 'thank you.' For everything."

_For being my friend. For tolerating me when I was obnoxious. For understanding. For caring. For reminding me that I was loved. For a thousand bad jokes and sarcastic glances behind someone's back. For loving language and culture as much as I do. For not condemning me for what I did, for fighting for me in prison. Thank you for not needing me to say any of these things._

They'd held one another's gaze for the entirety of his silent conversation, their eyes exchanging far more than their words ever could. And then Emily simply smiled again, and said, once again, "You're welcome."

Then she turned, reversed course, and smiled once again. "For the record….ditto."

She left him grinning in the bed.

* * *

He'd asked, and pleaded, and bargained, and whined, and cajoled, all to no avail. Until change of shift.

_Maybe they put the most compassionate people on the 11-7 shift. _

Or maybe it had been his pathetic recounting of how her husband and children were a thousand miles away, and unable to visit. How she deserved the comfort of a familiar voice, or a familiar touch. Or maybe it was the countless studies he'd begun to quote, all pointing to emotional connection as a key to the healing process.

_All right, maybe they're just trying to shut me up. _

Whatever had done it, he'd prevailed. He would be permitted to visit JJ.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 22**_

Once he saw how complicated it was to get him situated into a wheelchair with his leg extended and assorted tubes and wires in place, Reid made a silent vow to become the most cooperative and uncomplaining patient on the floor. _After_ he saw JJ.

"Thank you. I'm so sorry to put you to the trouble, but…" He began, as he was wheeled down the hallway.

"We understand, Agent Reid. We're all about supporting our law enforcement community here. But we're also about helping our patients heal. So this will have to be a short visit. Agent Jareau needs her rest. You both do."

"Agreed." Though he had no intention of leaving her without being satisfied that she was out of danger.

_So much for being their most cooperative patient._

A nurse was leaving JJ's room just as they arrived.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm afraid she's sleeping."

Considering that 'sleeping' was better than 'unconscious', Reid managed to be grateful, if disappointed. He half-turned in his chair to speak to the aide.

"Can I just sit with her? I promise I won't wake her."

Having spent fifteen minutes getting him into the chair, the aide was more than happy to oblige.

"I'll leave you with her. Just don't get me in trouble, okay?"

He grinned. "Okay."

As he was wheeled into her room, Reid's eyes fell upon the figure in the bed. He'd never seen her more still, nor more pale. The last solid image he'd had of her was from the ambulance ride to the hospital, where each of them had refused the gurney in favor of the other, until the EMTs had made the decision for them.

"_I've been like this for two days. Her injuries are fresh,"_ he'd argued, hoping they would be able to ignore his episode of syncope.

But they hadn't been, and he'd been ordered to the gurney, JJ riding beside him, sitting on the bench, hunched over herself. He'd annoyed his caretakers by insisting upon lifting his arm, and laying it on her shoulder, in place of holding her newly bandaged hands. She'd been through too much, and he'd known instinctively that she would need the physical contact. If he was honest with himself, and he was, he'd known that he needed the contact, too, the reminder that neither of them would be asked to endure this final trial alone, and without the one who had sustained them through so much of what had come before. And so, they'd ridden together to the hospital, and he'd assured her of her recovery, and promised his own. He'd insisted on seeing her today to satisfy himself that both of those promises had been kept.

The aide positioned Reid directly next to the bed, maneuvering the chair so that his extended leg was pointed away. He had to twist a bit to look at her, but he was fine with that.

_At least I'm with her. At least she's not alone._

Not that the others couldn't have stayed with her, and maybe they still would. But he and his best friend been through too much together these last few days...and the fifteen years preceding...and he knew instinctively that it had to be him she saw when she opened her eyes. And so, he sat, and watched, and waited, and remembered….

For all of the burden it could be, Spencer Reid was still grateful for his eidetic memory. In his lowest times, the times when he was most vulnerable, and least able to control it, his memory had a habit of presenting him with an unfiltered recording of his life, and the unfiltering of it almost always meant that his memory replayed his far-too-many major traumas. and trials, and tribulations before it presented the far-too-few highlights, and the far-more-precious, 'nothing' moments, countless in number.

But, on his good days, Reid could sort through his memory like a filing cabinet….the Morgan memories, the Emily memories, the Garcia memories. Those with Rossi, and Hotch and Gideon. He had a small drawer devoted to Elle, and even one to Alex. And JJ had earned an entire cabinet.

With JJ, he shared work memories, both inconsequential and monumental, events that separated them, and those that brought them together, major traumas, and major victories, small stories and anecdotes, and birthday cakes and physics magic and coffee, and tea, made just the way they liked it. Short conversations about nothing and everything, and a thousand acts of kindness. They shared family memories, memories built around the changes in their lives, like Will, and Henry, and Michael, and Maeve. Memories forged in the depths of a prison experience, or an abduction. Memories of gratitude, and relief. And, judging from what they'd shared in that collapsed building, maybe they shared more than memories. Maybe they shared some hopes and dreams. Some 'could-have-beens'. Some 'if-onlys'.

So, while he watched her sleep, Reid visited each of those things in his mind, the things that had happened, and the things that had not. And he celebrated, and mourned, in the same moment.

_That's all we'll have left after this, is memories. _

Maybe it was his debilitated state, or maybe it was watching her, in hers. Or maybe it was something else. Whatever, something brought wetness to Reid's eyes, which spilled over to his cheeks. He was using the sleeve of his hospital gown to take a swipe at his eyes when he heard her voice.

"What's wrong?"

His head shot back up. She was awake. Eyes open, as deep a blue as he could ever remember. More importantly, they were alert. Keen. Intelligent.

_The sepsis didn't hurt her. Thank God, it didn't hurt her!_

"Hi," he said, not answering her question. "You're awake."

She gave him that most blessedly familiar smile, the one that said she found him endearing, and not merely tolerable.

"Yep. So are you."

He chuckled. "Unlike you, I've been awake for a full day."

Her smile was tired, but it was there. "I'll have you know that I was awake for almost two years before you were even born." An old joke between them.

"Touche." His usual response.

JJ lifted her relatively unencumbered left hand, and Reid took it into both of his.

"Seriously, how are you feeling?"

"Pretty much like I've been hit by a truck."

His brow furrowed. "Are you in pain?"

Her head moved back and forth. "Just a little." Raising her complaining right hand. Then she moved her left, in his grasp. "But this one feels pretty good."

He smiled. "It feels pretty good to me, too."

"And how is your leg?" Her head motioning in the direction of his protruding appendage.

"It's fine. Or it will be. That's what they tell me."

JJ nodded. "Emily told me you had to have a second surgery."

The resulting look on Reid's face told her he was planning to have a talk with Emily.

"Don't be angry with her. I insisted."

He gave in. "I've been doing my own insisting. I think we might both owe her dinner."

JJ smiled. "As soon as you're on your feet, and I have my hands."

Despite the banter, there was a maelstrom of undercurrent in the room. Relief, worry, regret, apprehension. A sense of endings, and beginnings. A sense of separation, and the rending of something deep within, even while it felt like a pouring open. Love.

Reid's eyes penetrated it all, holding hers in an intense gaze. "I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd lost you. For a little while there, I thought I had."

She studied him without blinking. "Well, you didn't. I'm here, thanks to you."

"For now." Sorrow engraved in his features, the realization that they really were at the end of something.

He felt her free hand tighten around his. "Forever, Spence. It's true we won't see each other every day, and my heart breaks just as much as yours about that. But we'll still be in each other's lives, won't we? I'll still bring the boys to visit you, and you'll still come to see them, won't you?"

He managed only a half-smile at the implication that only his relationship with the boys might be deemed a socially acceptable reason for him to continue his relationship with his best friend.

_Maybe that's because we're not just best friends. I don't know what we are, but I know we're more than that._

And 'more than that' would have to remain forever undefined. He was certain of that, just as he believed she was.

His mind took him back to that briefest moment, only days ago, when they'd explored what 'more than that' might have been.

_It might have been wonderful. _

But it had also been only a moment, a time-out-of-time, surrounded by all of the moments, and all of the choices, that had come before it, and those to follow. As isolated as he might sometimes feel, Reid did live in relationship. And the relationships that had come to define his life precluded any but the one choice for him. To his surprise, he was accepting of it. He could live with the bittersweetness, and not temper it with regret.

_Maybe it's enough just to know. _

Maybe his life, whatever path it took, might be lived just a little more richly knowing there was someone out there who felt 'something more' about him. Maybe it would feel like it had a more solid foundation, a center of gravity. Maybe it would feel like he had a home.

"Spence?"

He realized he'd never answered her. "Of course I will. You know I love the boys."

_And you. I'll still love you._

Something pushed him just then. Later, remembering the moment, he would recall it as a shove….from above, from another woman he'd loved, and not told. All he knew in this moment was that he had to tell the woman beside him.

"I love you, too."

The look on her face told him that she'd heard those three words laden with all of the subtext neither of them could ever say. Her eyes filled, and it took her a moment to find her voice.

"And I love you. You're in my heart, Spence. You have been, for a very long time. And I'm not letting you out, just because I don't get to see you every day."

He smiled. "I'm counting on that."

She wasn't quite done, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was feeling a shove as well. All he knew for certain was that the deep blue of her eyes was now shimmering with tears.

"The other night? I know it was partly because we were in a situation, and we didn't know if we would get out of it. But…. but, for me, it was also real."

His gaze held hers steady. "I think you already know that it was real for me, too. It won't take an eidetic memory for me to keep it for a lifetime."

She gave him a sad smile. "I'm keeping it right here." Freeing her hand from his to pat her chest, and then immediately returning it to his warmth.

Each of them ached for the fullness of embrace, but their physical conditions wouldn't permit it. So Reid had to settle for bringing her hand closer, and boldly kissing the back of it. It was JJ who turned her hand, and laid her palm above his heart.

For a long moment, neither of them could manage to speak. Their eyes exchanged fifteen years' worth of memories, and images of the uncertain future. It was familiar territory for him. Reid had gotten lost in her eyes at least a thousand times. But this time, he found something. He found himself. And he told her.

"We'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

JJ simply nodded, still unable to find her voice. She'd trusted him so many times before. She would trust him in this.

Hearing a tell-tale bustle in the hallway, Reid knew they were about to be interrupted. Better to bring this exchange to an end before someone else did it for them.

"I promised I'd let you rest, so I'd better go. But I'm only down the hall, if you need me."

She gave him a small smile. "Always. But you need to rest, too. I have a feeling the others aren't going anywhere without us, anyway. We don't want to keep them from their futures."

Reid reminded her. "Rossi's future is in front of a keyboard, remember? He says he's still got stories to tell."

"Don't we all."

He gave a wry chuckle. "I'm not sure I want to tell all of my stories. Anyway, Emily is still working on getting the director to study the effects of the changes, and she's in her 'I won't take 'no' for an answer' mode about it."

"I thought they'd refused her request."

"The did. So now it's not exactly a request." Then, recalling his conversation with his prior unit chief, he added, "I think Hotch might be coaching her on it."

"Really?"

Reid shrugged. "He told me he sees the breakup of the BAU as an experiment that won't work, but there has to be some way to demonstrate it."

JJ gave a tired nod. "It was good to see him. He stopped in a little while before you did."

Reid agreed. "I didn't realize quite how much I missed him, until he showed up. Guess I forced myself to get used to it."

"You've had more than your share of things to get used to, these past few years, Spence."

"That, I have."

_And I'll have more, in the very near future._

No longer able to ignore the drooping of her lids, Reid tried to maneuver himself away from JJ's bed, but his extended leg made it difficult, and he had to use her call button to summon the aide, who arrived moments later.

"Ready, Agent Reid?"

"As I'll ever be."


	23. Chapter 23

_**A.N. As this is the final chapter, it's a good time for me to remind you: This story was conceived at the end of season 13, without guarantee of a season 14, let alone 15. Neither of those seasons is represented here, which means (in case you were wondering) that Max doesn't exist in this universe. **_

_**This long chapter functions as an epilogue. The action is behind us, the tribute ahead.**_

* * *

_**Commencement **_

_**Chapter 23**_

Spencer Reid mused on the changes to what had become familiar surroundings. The expansive lawn still dominated the landscape, but was now accented with flower and herb gardens, and a new and sizeable vegetable garden. The lighting was softer, and more subdued.

_The touch of a woman_, he thought, acknowledging Krystall's effect on 'Rossi Manor'. _Coupled with the free time of retirement. _

It had been five months since the team had taken its final flight together, five months since the BAU had become a thing of the past. Five very long months since Reid had seen all of his old friends gathered in one place.

_So why am I out here, at the far reaches of the property, all by myself?_

He'd been mingling with the others, catching up, making small talk, reminiscing. It was the first time in a long time that he'd seen Morgan, the first time since the hospital that he'd seen Hotch. And yet, his feet had taken him on this lonely journey, away from the others, and the lights, and the music.

_Maybe I was a little overwhelmed. _

But he couldn't quite decide if it had been memory, or nostalgia, or regret, or separation that had overwhelmed him. All he'd known had been his feet, moving in a direction, giving him distance from the assembly of friends and family inhabiting Rossi's patio.

Too soon, he heard the swish of footsteps pushing aside blades of grass, headed in his direction. Reid turned to see Emily Prentiss.

"The others are missing you," she pointed out.

"The others?" Making a point.

She flashed him a smile. He always _had_ been able to find her vulnerable spots.

"And me. All of us. What are you doing out here?"

Reid shrugged. "Don't know. I just came where my feet took me."

Emily chewed on it for a moment before responding. "Hmm… subject abducted by a pair of feet, operating in tandem. That makes them organized. Too soon to tell if one of them is the dominant…."

He smiled, as she's hoped, but the smile dissipated too quickly.

"Seriously, Spencer….is something wrong?"

He managed to unconvincingly shake his head and shrug at the same time.

"Nothing. I don't know why I'm out here. I'll come back."

Emily held his eyes in a steady gaze, despite the gathering dark.

"It's okay. Take your time, if you need it. I just wanted to …. well, you know."

He did. And he had news.

"I accepted a short term contract with DHS. I'll be working part time with their international intelligence effort, and it looks like some of that work will be with Interpol."

"Really?" Enthused. "Of course, it won't be like being in the field together, but wouldn't it be amazing if we ended up on the same project?"

He grinned. "It would. So, do you know how long you'll be in DC? Wasn't there a plan for you to go back to London?"

"There was. But this little Brexit bruhaha in the UK has been holding up the transfer, and to tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad. It's given me a taste of living in one place and not being on a plane a couple of times a week, and I kind of like it."

"Would 'liking it' have anything to do with who else is in the same city?"

"You mean Sergio?"

Reid laughed, as she'd known he would. "You know who I mean. Andrew Mendoza. I kind of thought you guys were…"

"We are. And, yes, he might have something to do with my wanting to stay."

"Well, I hope you do then. And not just for Andrew Mendoza. I wouldn't mind taking in a foreign film without subtitles now and then."

Emily smiled back at him. "It's a date, Handsome. Which reminds me to ask why we haven't had one of our dates these past few months. I actually thought you might be avoiding me!"

Bringing them around to the fact that he'd been isolating himself, not just tonight, but ever since their return from that final case.

"Seriously, Spencer. What's going on? Are you all right?"

"I'm okay." Quick to assure her. "I just needed some time….you know, first to recover, which took a little more physical therapy than I'd expected. And then to work on me, a little bit, you know? And I wanted to spend as much time with my mom as I could, because, you know…."

"Yeah, I know. My mom is another reason I'm thinking of staying in DC, believe it or not. She drives me crazy, but we don't have them forever." Then, remembering his situation. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"You're just speaking the truth, no need to be sorry about it. But, yes, Mom is deteriorating, and it's pretty much hit-or-miss whether she knows me from one visit to the next. But, when she does…well, we revisit some very old times. I'm even hearing stories about her growing up that I've never heard before. So…"

Emily nodded knowingly. "So, you're taking advantage of an opportunity."

"Exactly. That's why I took the adjunct position at Georgetown, and why I decided to contract back to the FBI Academy, instead of just transferring. It gave me more control of my time, and will allow me to take on the additional contract."

"And 'working on you'?"

Taking Emily's arm, Reid turned them, and headed them back in the direction of the patio, and the gathering of their friends.

"You know, taking stock. Thinking about where I am, and who I am, and where I'm going. Just…thinking."

Emily bit back the words that had come immediately to mind. _Isn't that all you do?_

Instead, she responded with, "Having a midlife crisis at thirty-eight?"

"Thirty-eight is two years short of forty. I've always been precocious."

She laughed. "That, you have. All right, so have you finished taking stock yet?"

Reid steadied Emily as her heel caught in the lawn. "I kind of think it will be an ongoing process. I know I'm still young. I'm just trying to decide if I should be trying to write a completely different book, or just moving on to a second chapter."

Emily stopped them, her hand on his arm turning him to look at her.

"You know what Hotch thinks, don't you?"

"He told you?"

"Well, yeah. We kind of have our own little 'ex-BAU-unit-chief' support group. He's thinking you might become a member, some day."

"He talked about it when he came to see me in the hospital. But there are a lot of assumptions there."

"You mean like, assuming this little experiment by the brass will fail, and they'll have to reassemble the BAU?"

"And how they would have to want someone who had to be waived through most of the requirements to even become an FBI agent in the first place. Not to mention what they would find when they did my background check."

"Are you talking about prison? That thing that happened to you because the FBI has a mole they've yet to acknowledge, let alone look for?"

"If that mole is still in place, they'll be pretty well positioned to squelch any attempt to put me in a position to lead the BAU."

Emily took a step back, just to be able to take in the whole of him. In her heart, he was still the man/boy she'd met fourteen years ago, brilliant, endearing, and, in spite of what he'd looked like then, made of soft steel. Soft, because he'd worn his too-inexperienced heart on his sleeve. But steel, because he could, and did, stand up to anything. But there was very little 'boy' left in him.

_Maybe he still gets excited, sometimes. But most of it is gone. Not jaded. Just…real. Maybe a little sad. Maybe a little world-weary. But the steel is still there, and it's firmer now. He's more confident. More comfortable in his own skin. His own, very handsome, skin._

She smiled at him. "You want it, don't you? You can see yourself doing it."

He half-smiled, and shrugged. "I don't know. But Hotch made me think about it."

_He saw something in me that I couldn't see. Until now._

"As you should. You'd be a great unit chief, Spencer."

"Thanks. But, even if all of those things fell into place, it wouldn't be the same without all of you."

"Hey, you might be glad about that. It's not as easy as you might think, bossing around people like the founder of the BAU."

Reid laughed. "Well, I wouldn't have to worry about that. Isn't Rossi's retirement one of the things we're celebrating tonight?"

"So we are. Shall we rejoin them?"

* * *

There had already been 'impromptu' speeches, and toasts, and stories, much laughter, and more than a few tears. The circumstances of their final case had caused the formal ending of the BAU to become more a process of attrition than anything else. Tara, Luke and Matt had been ordered on to their new positions within the FBI while JJ and Reid had still been hospitalized. Heading to retirement, Rossi'd had the luxury of lingering until his two youngest colleagues had been cleared to travel, and Emily had been granted the privilege of seeing her agents home as a final duty. Hotch had returned to Jack, Morgan to Savannah and their son.

Garcia was still with the FBI, but only tenuously. As she was wont to tell anyone who wanted to listen, and many who didn't, she didn't do well with change, and new situations, and adapting to new personalities. Emily had called in several favors to arrange for one of Garcia's duties to be offering remote support to Luke's anti-gang unit in New York, which had served to placate her enough to keep her employed.

The gathering at Rossi's had brought them all back together again, including Hotch and Jack, and Morgan, Savannah and Hank. Now, as Reid and Emily became visible in the twilight, JJ weaved her way through the throng to approach them.

"Everything all right?"

She'd been aware of Reid's wandering off, and glad to have seen Emily go after him. He was quick to assure her.

"Fine. Just taking a little break."

Emily looked from Reid to JJ and back again, her eyes asking him, '_Does she kno_w?'

He answered as though she'd spoken aloud.

"I told JJ about working with DHS. And she already knew what Hotch said, because apparently he told her as well."

His tone showed his bemusement at the fact that none of his old team seemed to feel the need for boundaries, including their once taciturn former unit chief, and all three of them laughed.

"And, if Hotch hadn't thought of it, I would have. Seriously, Spence, I can't think of anyone better. Now all we need is for the director to figure out that his little experiment isn't working."

Emily had information on that. "I heard through the grapevine that they've had cases in Dallas, Boise and Biloxi that didn't go well, and you both heard Tara and Matt about what they've been through. Luke said they're even having trouble with the LEOs accepting the profiles, because they don't believe one agent can think through a case any better than they can."

That was good enough for JJ. "Well, then, it's only a matter of time. For the record, if the BAU is reassembled under the leadership of Spencer Reid, count me in."

"Me, too!" added Emily.

The light from the patio was too faint for them to see Reid blush.

"Thanks, you guys. But there are still a lot of 'ifs'."

JJ linked an arm through one of each of her old friends, and led them in the direction of the patio.

"We've been asked to gather around the champagne one more time. I think our esteemed founder has something more to say."

Reid stopped their forward motion, turning to address them.

"So do I. Seriously, both of you….I just want you to know….I never, ever, expected to have the kinds of relationship in my life that you both have brought me, and I couldn't be more grateful for it. I know this isn't really goodbye, and I know….._now_, I know….that what we have between us won't end. But, still….this is as good a time as any to tell you how grateful I am, and how much I love you."

The two women looked to one another, and then to Reid. Flanking him, they each tiptoed up and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Ditto, Dr. Reid," said Emily.

JJ reached across and squeezed herself to him. "You know I love you, too."

Then Reid crooked both of his elbows in invitation, and continued in the direction of the patio, proudly escorting a beautiful woman on each arm.

"There he is! Where'd you go off to, Pretty Boy?"

"Just taking a stroll. Did I hear that another toast was in order?" Deflecting the unwanted attention.

"That, you did, my young friend." David Rossi continued pouring, as Krystall started passing glasses. "Has everyone got a glass? Good."

He moved to a spot where he could see all of his dear friends, and they, him.

"All right, then. I'm going to claim some privilege tonight, not just because I'm old, and hosting this party, but because we wouldn't be gathered here at all if not for something that's been the focus of my life and my work for decades. So I'm going first and last, but I want to hear from each member of my BAU family."

Looking around at each of them, and the loved ones they'd accumulated along the way.

"So, here goes. I'm thankful for a young guy named Jason Gideon, who probably had more determination than any three people put together. Way back in the day, he and I saw something…..a possibility, a potential… and we egged each other on, until it became a reality. I don't think either of us could or would have done it alone, and we definitely had our ups and downs with it. But we created something that I like to think has had an impact. So, to our late friend, Jason Gideon, I'd like to say, 'thank you' for a job well done and a life of service."

He held up his glass for a 'hear, hear', and took a sip of his champagne, as did the others. Then, moving clockwise around the group, he inclined his head in Morgan's direction. The former profiler lifted his glass as he began to speak.

"Well, I've already said goodbye to my BAU colleagues once a few years ago. But I guess this is goodbye to the BAU."

"Not to mention you showed up again," interjected Emily, "Three times. But we might have forgotten to tell the brass about that….you know, security and all."

"Not to mention insurance," added JJ.

Garcia, standing beside him, offered, "I could have taken care of that. A few keys here, a few keys there, and voila! I weave my magic!"

"Ahem." Rossi invited them to get back on track.

"Okay, as I was saying…this is different, this time. We're not saying goodbye to one another so much as we are to a concept. Yeah, I know what the FBI says. They think they can just send a single profiler to a field office, and it will magically happen. But they don't get it. We were a team. We worked together. We needed each other. I know I didn't get to work with all of you…" Looking around at the newer members of the BAU. "….but I know what it was like to work with the rest. I respect all of you. I love all of you. And I know you're all gonna kill it, in whatever you do. To the BAU and the best partners a man could ever have."

Raising his glass. But he hadn't quite gotten it to his mouth before Garcia interjected, "And woman! You're all the best teammates a _woman_ could ever have, too!" Once started, Penelope was on a roll. "I know you might not think of me as a partner, because I'm not in the field with you. Well, sometimes I am, like when the bad guy is using technology to do his bad things, but usually you don't see me, well except for when I video in, but…."

"Baby Girl…"

"Sorry. I just meant to say that Derek is right. You are all the best teammates I could ever have hoped for. I know I call you my babies, but that's just to say how much I worry about you, and how much I love you all. But the truth is that I look up to all of you, I admire all of you…..even you, Newbie." Acknowledging Luke Alvez. "My heart broke the day we heard the news. But it's also full to overflowing with love for you. I don't care what the FBI says. The BAU will live forever, right here."

Patting her own chest, as Morgan pulled her in for a hug, and Luke beamed his appreciation in her direction.

"Next?" Rossi looked to Tara.

"Okay. As some of you will remember, I sort of auditioned on the job. I think I probably held my breath through the whole case, because I so badly wanted to work with the BAU. I came into it already feeling that way, but then, working with all of you, seeing your dedication and selflessness….well, that just made it all the more important to me to become one of you. So, I may not have had a very long tenure, but I am so very grateful for the opportunity. You are all remarkable people."

Matt Simmons took it up next. "Tara, if it's any consolation, you've probably had double my tenure!" Then, looking around at the others, he continued, "Which is my poor fortune. Seriously, you guys have all become part of my family…well, _our_ family." Pulling his wife closer. "You've even helped us welcome our newest addition. And Dave has even helped me figure out how to support all these kids!"

When the chuckling died down, Matt added, "I feel a little like a jinx, having come to the BAU after the international team disbanded. But can I ask you not to warn the field office in San Francisco?"

Luke laughed. "All you need is a Penelope Garcia to run interference for you. She and her magic keyboard are the talk of the New York office, which has made me into sort of a golden boy there.""

"Hmph! Well I had to do something to help New York out. After all they got stuck with the newbie."

They might have been deemed harsh words, had Garcia not been smiling as she said them.

"Yeah, well, let me show you something." Pulling out his phone, Luke stepped forward to hold it up to the others. "Lisa and I flew down this morning, so I can't show you in person. But look who got vanity plates for his car."

There, on the screen, was a silver SUV, with a license plate that read, 'NEWB'.

Garcia's smile widened, as did Luke's, when he realized.

"Did I just render the queen of witticisms speechless?"

He didn't wait for her answer before continuing.

"So, like Tara and Matt, I wasn't with the team all that long, but I did feel like I'd found a home here. I definitely found my soon-to-be-wife, and I'm pretty sure part of what endeared me to her was meeting my friends." Getting more serious, now. "I spent a good piece of my early career working undercover. When you do that, you're technically part of a team, but it doesn't feel like it. Even in Iraq, mostly my team was me and Roxy. But here, at the BAU, with all of you, I learned what it really is. You work hard, and you trust that the person next to you is doing the same. And you know that if you get into a jam…as I did….you know that they won't_ let_ you go it alone. For that, and for many other things, I thank you. All of you." Raising his glass to another round of 'hear, hear'.

JJ was next in line, now standing with her husband.

"Before I say anything else, I just want to acknowledge someone who isn't here. Stephen Walker was with us for a very short time. But it was long enough for me to learn what a good man he was, and how talented and supportive. He supported me during a very tough time." Glancing briefly over to Reid. "And we should also remember someone who left in much happier circumstances, Kate Callahan. She had her baby about six months before I had Michael, so we kind of kept in touch over motherhood. I'm happy to tell you that she is now expecting again."

There was a smattering of 'Wow!' and 'Good for her!'

Then JJ had to take a deep breath before continuing.

"So. I feel like I grew up in the BAU. I was in my twenties when I arrived, newly through the Academy. Someone seemed to think I had some communications skills, and the next thing I knew, I was the liaison for the BAU. I guess it's safe to tell you now that I felt like I was in over my head. But I…"

"But you put a pretty face on it, Blondie."

The others laughed while JJ responded to Morgan. "Thank you, to the man who taught me hand-to-hand. Anyway, you all accepted me, and I couldn't have felt more supported, especially by you, Hotch. You saw something in me that I couldn't see, and you encouraged me to become a profiler. And, wow, talk about feeling like being in over your head! Even having been the liaison for so long, and learning so much from you….especially from Spence, here, because we spent a lot of time together….well, even then, I found out that it was so much more than I realized. But you all supported me, and helped me grow, and I'm thankful for every single minute of it. Still, the thing I'm most thankful for is the love I've found here. Friendships that I treasure, and that I know will last forever, even when we're not together. See what's happened already? Five months in, and it feels like we've never been apart."

She reached over and laid her hand on Will's shoulder.

"Here's another love I found along the way. Not every girl can say she has a serial killer to thank for introducing her to her husband. Speaking of which….you've all been too polite to ask, but I'll tell you anyway. The reason you don't know what I'm doing with myself…well, the reasons, plural…are these. At first, we thought maybe we should take the opportunity to move our family back to New Orleans, to be around the LaMontagne clan. But the Metro PD had other plans for us. Will here has just been promoted to captain!"

There was a round of congratulations for him before JJ continued.

"So, here we will stay. The other reasons….first, I needed to rehab. I can now compete with Spence in naming every ligament and tendon in the hand, and believe me, there are a lot of them, and it takes a long time for them to heal. But I've been back on the firing range, and I got my physical clearance last month, so I should be all set to go. Except….well, remember how I told you Kate Callahan was pregnant again?"

A gasp from Garcia. "JJ! You are? Oh, my God, another little godson!"

"Not this time, Penelope. We just found out yesterday that you and Spence are about to have a new little goddaughter."

The prospective godfather beamed at the news. "Can't wait!"

"So, between the rehab, and the pregnancy…and having two boys at home…I'm exhausted, and Will's promotion is giving us a little cushion for a while. So, for now, I'm back to being a liaison, filling in for Jordan….you guys remember Jordan, right? She's with the National Security branch, and as karma would have it, she's out on maternity leave."

Hotch had to ask. "Are you happy with that? Not being in the field?"

JJ gave a slow nod. "For now. It was already hard with one child, harder still with two, and I can't even imagine what it will be like to have three. For now, I'm okay with it. Maybe when they're older…but I'll be older then, too. So I guess we'll just have to see."

Hotch nodded understandingly. "I know the feeling, even just with Jack. I may have been forced into it, but I'm glad to be able to come home to him every night. And it turns out that practicing law isn't as different from profiling as one might think. Especially not as a prosecutor."

Emily added to the sentiment. "It's all piece of the same mechanism, isn't it? All of the parts have to work together if any of us are to have success at keeping the world safe. I think that's why Interpol is a good fit for me. I get to use my profiling skills, but I also get to put to use the fact that I grew up in Europe."

She moved out to face the group before she spoke again.

"I guess it's my turn. So, I came to the BAU as a replacement for someone else. Elle…."

"Greenaway. Elle Greenaway." Reid was quick to supply the name. "She was my friend."

"Elle Greenaway. From my first meeting with Hotch, it was clear that Erin Strauss had 'forgotten' (making finger quotes) to mention this to him."

Tara hadn't heard this. "Forgot to mention _that_ you were coming, or _why_ you were coming?"

"Both. Everything. Including the fact that she expected me to spy on the BAU."

"What?!" came from all three of the 'newbies'.

Emily was quick to explain, sensitive to Rossi's past relationship with the woman.

"She wasn't quite well, and it was before she had treatment. She wouldn't have done it otherwise, I'm sure. And, for the record, I refused. But I thought for sure Hotch was going to kick me out."

Her former unit chief had a comment. "Also for the record, I'm glad I didn't."

She sent him a grin. "Thank you, so am I. Like everyone else, I'm grateful for some of the deepest, most lasting friendships of my life. I treasure each and every one of you. And JJ, I know exactly what you mean about meeting the love of your life while chasing a serial killer." Pausing to let the laughter subside. "And even though it happened under duress, I am grateful for the confidence shown in me by a man I consider to be both a friend and a mentor. Thank you, Hotch, for entrusting the BAU to me. I'm only sorry I wasn't able to save it."

"That wasn't your doing, Emily," assured David Rossi. "We were victims of our own success."

She appreciated the show of support. "Well, let's hope this new plan becomes a victim of its lack of understanding of just who we are and what we do. I hope it's not considered subversion to make a toast to the demise of this plan, and the restoration of the BAU. Because I'm making it anyway! Anybody with me?"

It turned out that everybody was with her, and there was another round of raised glasses, and a need to refill those glasses with more champagne.

Reid was next in line to Emily. "I guess it's my turn. I … did you all know that I have an IQ of 187, can read 20,000 words per minute, and have more diplomas than I can fit on my wall?"

His oldest friends chuckled at the memories of hearing those qualifications recited to numerous law enforcement officers over the years, and the reactions of each.

"And still, I don't have the words for this. I can't even begin to tell you what this has been like for me. So many firsts. The first time I really belonged to something, the first time I used my intelligence for anything much beyond writing a paper on some obscure aspect of science. The first time I felt accepted. It was the first time I had friends, real friends. The first time I felt like part of a real family. Not that I wasn't terrified of some of you, in the beginning. I was even younger than JJ…sorry, JJ, I still am.." Smiling in her direction. "Did you know that I actually grew four inches after I started with the BAU?"

More chuckling.

"I've been through some things, which has put all of you through some things, and for that, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Spence," assured JJ. "We love you." Others murmured their assent.

He presented a shy smile, first to his best friend, and then to the others. "Likewise. I guess that's mostly what I want to say. That I love all of you, and I cherish the relationships I've made. I won't ever forget them, because…." Smiling, as he tapped his temple, " ….because, I forgot to add to the list, eidetic memory."

Even the newbies were aware of that, and joined in the amusement.

"There's one more thing." Now he moved his gaze around from Hotch, to Rossi, to Morgan, and back again. "As you know, I didn't have much of a role model, growing up. My dad left us when I was eleven. But then I had Gideon, and I think I pretty much soaked up everything he had to offer. I might have felt as lost as he did, when he left the team, and I might have foundered. But, Hotch, you anchored me, and you taught me, about much more than being a profiler. Thank you for that. And Rossi….. I know I was an annoying fan boy, when you came back to the BAU. But I'm glad you didn't run away. You stuck around, and put up with me, and I am so grateful that we grew into the relationship we have now. Secretly, you're still my idol, but I'm even more thankful that you are also my friend. And Morgan… I don't….I can't….."

"You don't need to, Kid. I'd never had a brother, either. And I'm glad I finally got one."

The older man moved to the younger, and embraced him. That particular toast was punctuated by sniffles.

"My turn?" asked Hotch. "Well, unlike Morgan, I never had a chance to say goodbye to any of you, so now is my time." He stepped out so he could turn and look at all of them. "With most of you, I spent more than a decade privileged to witness the dedication, courage, relentlessness and tenacity of your drive to save lives, and to make the world a better, safer place. Many of you paid a personal price for the work you did, and yet none of you regretted it. Nor do I. The price I paid was high, and I do regret what it cost Jack. But, like the rest of you, I realize that it was work that had to be done, and I couldn't ask someone else to do what I wouldn't. Several of you have said that I served as a mentor for you, and while I don't know that I was ever worthy of that title, I'm humbled to have had it bestowed. In very many ways, each of you has served the same for me, and I am grateful for every lesson I've learned from you."

Taking a few seconds to make eye contact with each former member of the BAU in turn.

"When I was the BAU's unit chief, I had enough contact with the FBI hierarchy to know that not every decision is made for sound reasons. I think the decision to disseminate the members of the BAU is one of those decisions. The good news is that sometimes poor policy is rescinded, and I hope that this will prove to be one of those times. If that happens, I hope that you will agree to bring your expertise to the table, if not to serve again, at least to train a new set of dedicated agents to become a team. But, with or without being asked, I will make my recommendation that the leadership of that team come from among you."

Making no effort to hide his selection, Hotch looked directly at Reid.

"It might not surprise some of you to hear that I don't make friends easily. But I hope it doesn't surprise you to hear that I consider each of you to be one of those hard-to-make friends, and that I have thought of you each day since I've left, and will think of you each day into the future. So, to good friends."

Holding his glass aloft, and taking a sip. Then turning back to his oldest hard-won friendship on the team.

"Dave?"

"Thank you, Aaron. Okay, boys and girls, I've got more to say, and since I'm providing the champagne.."

Laughter tittered through the group.

"Do you know why they call every graduation a 'commencement'? It's because, while we should always look back on what we've learned, the focus should be on what comes next. With every ending comes a new beginning, and this is no exception. Most of you are already living your 'what comes next', as am I. For the record, retirement is a great thing to commence!"

Joining in laughter with the others.

"I've got one final message for you, and that is this: Some of you weren't even born yet when Jason Gideon and I started the BAU. It came from an idea, conceived in an instant, in what might otherwise have been a throwaway conversation. And yet, each of us knew it immediately….that this was something that _had_ to happen, something that had the potential to revolutionize the work we did. Something that had the potential to save lives. None of you could possibly have known any of that, and yet…." His voice breaking, just a little, his eyes glistening. "And yet, each and every one of you brought your whole selves to it. You lived the dream we dreamed, and made it into a reality. Your work, and your dedication to sacrificing yourselves, gave the work of my life meaning. For that, and for so many other things, I am grateful. I love you all with my full Italian heart, and I salute you. And, by the way, I agree with what Hotch said. The brass will be eating crow on this, so don't wander far, boys and girls. That's how I think of you, you know. You're my colleagues and friends, but you're also my sons and daughters. What a full life I've had, to have such wonderful children!"

Raising his glass, he gave the final toast, resounded by the others.

"To the BAU, to friendship, and to life!"

FINIS

* * *

_**A.N. And that's the end of the new beginning. Maybe there will be other versions, who knows? All I know is that I am grateful to the creators, writers and actors of Criminal Minds for having conceived, told stories about, and inhabited some pretty incredible characters. They've brought me (and, I hope, you) many hours of creative enjoyment and inspiration, and I will miss them terribly.**_


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